Gay
All participants are 18+. No gay sex, male or female
.
This is a slow burn about love developing between brother and sister. If you're looking for wham, bam, thank you ma'am, you probably should look elsewhere. Doesn't depict anyone living or dead.
I'm gay and my sister is beautiful.
Only considered beauty for a female with a more-or-less standard metric. No investment of interest. Diane is the exception. She is beautiful inside and outside. Physical beauty and human beauty.
For the majority of my 22 years on this Earth, I've known that I'm gay. Never had any attraction to girls or women. Certainly, no affection. Even to my mother and aunts. Something just seemed unnatural. I know intellectually that women are half of the human species but not emotionally.
Diane is a sphere of light moving through my universe of dark women. She's barely 21. Her hair is dead white, her eyes pink. She's maybe 4'8" and is well short of 90 pounds. Yes, she's an albino. Thin like a reed. Virtually flat front and back. Despite being tiny, she was all muscle and surprisingly strong. Hard to describe the perfection of her face. Elfin is perhaps closest. The very paleness of her skin is a magnet that holds you to her. The Sun is a potent enemy. Of course, she wears dark glasses to protect her sensitive eyes. However, she has dozens of them - every color of the rainbow and many different styles. Every day there is a new her.
Growing up together was a challenge for both of us. Her, because of her albinism, and me because I'm gay. We had a closeness that's difficult to comprehend. She was always there for me and I for her. She was always tiny, but her heart filled her entire body. She was absolutely fearless. Some guy picking on me invoked a tornado of white limbs. No matter the size, she didn't hesitate. If she had been of normal size she would have inflicted a lot of damage as she was very quick. As it was, it still took a couple of people to pull her off the victim. Nobody ever went through a second attack.
People picking on her were disappointed in the results. She usually just ignored it. Very few were foolish enough to pursuit it to the point where she had to react physically. Just like when defending me, she went from zero to ballistic in a single heartbeat. Potential bullies quickly learned that she didn't have a bark, but she did have a real bite. Only once did I ever have to get involved. I was in junior high and a few of her tormentors gathered in a circle around her. Taunting escalated till one of them pushed her. She exploded but there were eight of them. Fortunately, one of my friends told me that she may have a problem. I arrived just as the whirlwind started. Between the two of us, it was quickly solved. Pretty sure she did most of the damage. My role was to keep them off of her so she could deal with them essentially one at a time, although my boxing training came in handy.
"Etienne, thanks for your help. There were just too many of them."
"Diane, my pleasure."
We both got suspended for fighting.
At the time I wasn't all that big. I topped out at 5'10" and 160 pounds. Big enough to make an impression. I have been into boxing since I was about 10 years old. Kept it up till I graduated from high school, then just worked out at the gym. Stopped fighting matches but continued to work as a sparring partner whenever I could get to the boxing gyms. Since I wasn't like my sister, I had light brown hair, blue eyes and a complexion that tanned quickly. Mom said I could get a tan under a street light. Don't think I was particularly handsome. Enough so that I had no problem attracting partners.
Diane knew I was gay, long before I admitted to our parents. She was supportive when I told them when I was 16. They weren't really happy but no tantrums or lectures. The only thing that was really said was to remind me I had a sister - a female - so don't become a cultural unisex.
"Mom, Dad, I could never forget Diane. In addition to her being my sister, she's my best friend."
Although I couldn't see her eyes, I knew she was studying me intently.
Later, when we were alone, she cornered me. I could tell she was nervous. "Etienne, what's going to happen to us when you graduate and go off to college? I may be your best friend but you're my only friend. Are you going to get so involved in the activities in college, where there's a lot more openness than here? Will I ever see you again?"
"You're only one year behind me. I'm staying here in town to go to community college before going to a real university, so we'll still be near each other."
She threw her arms around me in a fierce hug. "Don't leave me. I'd go crazy."
"You know that at some point we will have to go our separate ways? We'll find our life partners, who will become the focus of our lives. We'll still be brother and sister. That won't go away."
"Maybe you'll find some guy, but I won't."
"How can you say that? You're only 15..."
"I could be 115 and it would still be the same."
"Give it time."
"There's not enough time in the world for that to change."
We left it there.
Fast forward to the present. I'm 22 and will graduate with a degree in history in a couple of months. Diane will also graduate then with a degree in electrical engineering. She went summers to make up for being initially one year behind me.
Local college wasn't much different from high school. We both lived at home and commuted together. After two years for me and one for her we transferred to a college at the other end of the state. Far enough to be free from parents but close enough to keep in contact on our terms. That was, indeed, a major transition in our lives.
As Diane had predicted when she was 15, the openness of the university towards the gay community was overwhelming. I was no longer invisible, hidden away in dark corners. To me, this was...Great? Fantastic? Unbelievable? No words easily explain. With a two-bedroom apartment, shared with Diane, I could lead my life. Have guys over, as friends or otherwise.
We lived together for two years, and she never complained about my social life. Not once.
She changed, though. She became more withdrawn and silent. Thought, at first, it was just the abrupt change to life away from home. However, she became even more solitary. It was a gradual change, so I didn't really recognize it. OK, so I was also caught up in my own social development.
Engineering is a tough major. She threw herself into it with considerable devotion. I had a relatively easy major and partied pretty hard. There were times when we didn't speak to each other, except for things like good morning, want coffee, etc. for a week at a time. We'd see each other but it was as if we just looked through each other. I rationalized it as her being busy studying so her social life wasn't big while mine was thriving.
So, here we were, two months till graduation. She was graduating
summa sum laude
and already had several job offers. I had barely enough of a GPA to get my BA and no prospects for a job come May. Did grasshopper and ant ring a bell?
It all came crashing down one Saturday morning. Diane brought in the mail and there was a letter from the one remaining university that I had applied to for admission to grad school. Rejected. Now, what fuck was I going to do? Could get a teaching job but that meant another 6 - 12 months taking education courses. With Diane gone, I couldn't afford either the tuition or the rent. (She was on full scholarship and had a very good part-time job with the engineering department. Grasshopper, again.) Could ask the parents for help but they had been on my case for a long time to straighten up my act, so that avenue was probably closed.
She came back from the bathroom and saw my face. Guess I must have really looked down as she asked me "Etienne, what's the matter?"
"I'm truly fucked..."
