*** This is a story of a son studying Psychology in college, who wonders if he can use any of his new found knowledge to make his fantasies about his mother become real. I hope you enjoy, and I would love to hear your thoughts on the story and my writing. ***
Is it gaslighting, to condition someone to do a thing that they secretly want to do already? I had learned about gaslighting in one of my Psychology classes, and I have been way too interested lately in how I could abuse this knowledge. When studying about this concept, I must admit that the first thought I had was, how can I use this to realize my fantasies about the woman of my dreams. That woman, who has dominated my dreams for so many years. That woman, who is so close, but so far out of reach. That woman who teases me with every rise and fall of her impressive chest as she breathes. That woman who I want to push face first onto the kitchen counter and fuck, as she tries to make dinner for my father and me. Yes, that woman is my mother.
For those that are unfamiliar with the concept of gaslighting, it is a process that some people use to mentally and physically manipulate another person, in order to condition that person to think or do something. Many times, this is the underlying cause of women entering into and staying in abusive relationships. The abuser conditions the woman to believe that she is unworthy of love and/or inferior in ways that make her dependent on the abusive man. Some also believe that this is the underlying cause of many Dominant-submissive relationships, in which the Dominant conditions and reinforces the submissive's need to serve the Dominant. Gaslighting can also be used in more conventional relationships, such as when a man conditions his wife to give him blow jobs, when she is not inclined to or when a woman encourages her man to do unpleasant household chores, with the promise of sexual rewards.
However, most argue that the later examples are merely the normal give and take of rewards and punishments, that couples use in relationships. True gaslighting is more nefarious and treacherous. Most times the one doing the gaslighting, understands that the conditioned behavior is not in the victim's best interest, but conditions them to do it anyway. It is a selfish betrayal of trust, but it can also be a power emotional drug for those who are able to mentally manipulate weaker willed individuals. When paired with sexual gratification, this emotion high can be very addictive, and drive the "gaslighters" to attempt manipulations of more challenging victims.
I should be ashamed to admit that I am one of those manipulative bastards, who prey on weaker minded and weaker willed individuals, but I am not. In fact, I feel that it is a form of mental Darwinism. It is the natural order for the weaker minded and weaker willed people to conform to the wishes and desires of the more intelligent and stronger willed people. Even before I knew what gaslightling was, I habitually had smart, but socially awkward students doing my assignments. I also instinctively knew how to subtly reinforce a girl's weak self-esteem, to get her to perform a sexual act, that she was not predisposed to perform.
You would be surprised at what some girls will do, to take a guy's attention away from the butt that she feels is too big, tits that are too small, or eyes that she feels are too far apart. I once convinced a girl to let me fuck her ass, by getting her to believe that the act would tighten up the muscles in her butt and make them look less flaccid. Yes, I said flaccid, and the word alone, made her already critical view of her butt, exponentially worse. That stupid bitch was so concerned about her damn ass, that she practically begged me to fuck it several times a week. Her ass felt fucking amazing to fuck, and I would have stayed with her longer, but she had a big fat ass, so I had to dump her, LOL. Of course, when I broke up with her, I told her I couldn't be with a girl who had such a big, fat ass. Yeah, I know, I am a dick, and I crushed her self-esteem, but to all of the guys after me who exploited her weak self-image, "You're welcome."
OK, so we established that I am a manipulative asshole, but I can hear all of the "wanna be mother fuckers" out there asking, "So what does this have to do with your mother?" To this, I say, "I'm glad you asked."
As I alluded to earlier, I was becoming bored manipulating the easy prey, the slow runners at the back of the pack. I upped my game and had more than my share of cheer leaders and prom queens. You would be surprised at how some really attractive people can still suffer from self-esteem issues. Even this was getting a bit tedious. Don't get me wrong, the sex was fantastic, but I really needed the thrill of the chase, the rush of defeating a worthy opponent. This is the mood that found me thinking a lot more about my first dream girl... dear old mom.
My mother has always been a hottie. She was the mom that all of the guys talked about, especially my friends. I am not one of those guys who says he got uncomfortable when his friends talked about his mom. Those guys are just afraid that people will think that they are freaks, if they acknowledge that their mothers are hot. Of course, these same guys jacked off every night thinking of their moms. I was never ashamed to admit that I lusted after my mom. In fact, I would often be the first to comment about her, and I was not afraid to go into detail describing my many fantasies I had about her, as I masturbated. I guess it's no mystery why I went into Psychology.
OK, so back to my mom. She is still a hottie, but not in the conventional way. When she was young, she had a gymnast's body, but with an incredible set of tits. She is very short, so any weight she put on, was really emphasized. As a result, she was a workout fanatic. She didn't have a job, so her job was to stay in shape for her man. I have to respect the hustle. She definitely understood that her worth in the relationship was directly equated to how attractive she kept herself. Unfortunately, she could not beat age, and as she got older, she started to gain weight around her middle and ass. We are only talking about 15 or 20 pounds, but because she is only five foot tall, the weight had a much more dramatic effect on her than it would on a taller woman. It was no big surprise to me when my father, who often took a second look at tall, thin, athletic girls, cheated on my mother with his tall, thin, athletic secretary.
I guess I am a chip off the old block, because when my mother caught him at it, dad turned it right around and blamed it all on her for letting herself get "so fucking fat". Yes, he actually said that to her. My bedroom shares a wall with theirs, and I heard every word. My old man was like an emotionally abusive ninja. He called her a cow, repeatedly mentioned her fat ass, and even attacked her tits, which were her pride and joy. When she tried to defend herself saying that she tries hard to stay fit for him, and that he always loved her big tits, he told her, "Yeah, I loved them when they were big and firm, but now they are just big floppy bags, that jiggle around when I get desperate enough to fuck you." Then he asked her, "Are you even surprised that I turned to another woman... an attractive one, who has some enough self-respect to keep herself fit?"
When I heard my mother crying through the wall and begging my father to give HER a second chance, I know I should have felt terrible for her and furious with my father. Instead, I sat there on my bed stroking my cock and thinking of my mom's big, fat, floppy tits jiggling and bouncing around on her chest, as I imagined myself fucking her. I am ashamed to admit, that her crying as I did it, made my orgasm that much stronger when I came. Besides giving me a lot of material for later masturbation sessions, their fight also gave me a lot of material, which I would later use to manipulate her weak self-esteem enough to make my fantasies come true.
All of that material came flooding back, as I started to think about the possibility that I could actually manipulate my mother, like I had so many other weak whores before her. Although they stayed married, I know that their sex life was practically non-existent, except for a few very loud and very aggressive sounding sessions, during which I heard my father saying some VERY hateful things to my mother, while making her perform some pretty humiliating sexual acts. Shared wall, remember. He also kept seeing his secretary, along with at least a few other women, all with my mother's full knowledge. I actually heard him humiliating my mother by talking about sex with his other women, during those rare sessions that he fucked her.
I stumbled onto another key piece of my plan, when I was home from college for my summer break. My mother was out shopping, and my father was at work. I did my usual exploration of her underwear drawer and opened her laptop to see what I could find. A quick search of her browser history showed me that she is as big a failure at computer security, as she is at marriage. I found some VERY interesting sites that she visits fairly often. I learned a few important things about my mother, in addition to the fact that she has a REALLY bad habit of saving her passwords for all of the sites she is signed up to.
First, I learned that she is in desperate need of cock. From some of her DMs on a couple of the sites, she is very flirtatious with a lot of guys, and she comes off as a VERY desperate whore, who will say anything to them. The second thing I learned about her, is that she also clearly has no intent to follow through on any of her promised sexual acts. In the DMs, every time the guys get excited to take the flirtation to the next level, she disappears. Whenever any of them asked for her to send photos or a phone number, she says she is not comfortable with that and ultimately stops chatting with the guys. From this I determined that she wants to give in to her sexual needs very badly but is afraid of some undefined consequence. As a result, she pulls out before it can get serious. Because these guys are just "online" she has the ability to walk away. What would happen if she was not able to walk away? What if someone made her face her desires? I intend to be that someone.
Using what I discovered from her various chats, I made a plan to contact her directly on her cell phone, using a pay-as-you-go cell phone. Using the throw away phone, I text her, "I am the guy you been chatting with, and I want to take this to the real world."
