Those few hours that my cousin, Chad, and I spent together were like a sensual dream that I dreaded waking up from. It was all we could do to tear ourselves away from each other, but reality beckoned.
I had a family to get home to, and his parents, my aunt and uncle, were due home any time. We made every second count, exploring each other's bodies and pushing the limits of our endurance. If we could have made time stand still for everyone but us, we would have stayed in that room forever. But, since time was not under our control, we made each precious minute last as long as we could.
Finally I dressed and drove home, unable to fathom what had just taken place. The only evidence of our encounter was my sopping wet pussy and the belly full of Chad's cum I had eagerly swallowed. My legs were still shaky from the exertion, but much to my relief, my husband's car was not parked in front of the house when I arrived home.
The house was dark, so I quickly turned on a lamp, pulled out the book I had been reading, opened it, leaving it on the coffee table. I undressed, threw my clothes in the hamper in the basement, and hurriedly showered, hoping to wash away any obvious signs of my evening activities. Slipping on my robe and slippers, I made my way back into the living room, where I curled up on the couch and grabbed my novel.
The words on the page blurred before my eyes. I read the same sentence over and over, but the book was just a pretense. An avid reader, my family would easily believe I had spent the last few hours enjoying my freedom with a good murder mystery novel.
About ten minutes after I settled in, my family burst through the door, laughing and boisterous after their trip to the exhibition game. My spouse of twelve years, Bill, followed behind, rolling his eyes.
"I tell you what, if I ever decide to do that again, shoot me." he joked. "I swear these kids are so hopped up on candy that I doubt they'll ever get to sleep tonight."
Hanging his coat on the coat rack, Bill seemed glad to be in for the evening. All three kids were talking at once, trying to explain the event; who scored what and where they sat and who ate more hot dogs than who. Finally, Bill directed the crew upstairs to their rooms, ready for some peace and quiet.
"It's after eleven o'clock, guys!" he shouted up the stairs. "Let's settle down up there and get ready for bed."
Sighing, Bill sat down beside me and patted my knee.
"How was your night, Lissa?" using the name only he called me.
Immediately I felt a pang of guilt rise up inside me. I looked down, avoiding his eyes, and tried to look interested in the book I was reading.
"Great. Just did some reading and took a nap. Sounds like you all had a great time, though."
Bill, always sensitive to my moods, touched my hand.
"Everything okay, hon?"
Realizing I would have to learn to live with my decision without making my guilt obvious, I lifted my chin and looked at my husband.
I sighed and remarked, "I'm fine, I guess I just missed you tonight."
Bill nodded. "I missed you, too. It just didn't seem right being there without you."
"I know we all need some to ourselves now and then. With that rowdy crew you had to oversee, maybe I got the best end of the deal." I said, trying to keep my tone normal.
Bill chuckled. "They're not going to be young forever, so we have to enjoy them while we can. But I tell you what, hon: Let's plan on making some time for ourselves soon. Like dinner or something. I'll have Mom watch the kids and maybe we'll catch a movie. We haven't done that lately."
I swallowed the lump in my throat, and fought the tears that filled my eyes. "That sounds great." I managed.
Here my husband was planning ways to make time for me after I had just spent the last few hours screwing my own cousin. I felt two inches tall. I forced myself to stop thinking, trying to push the guilt to the back of my mind.
I mustered a smile, and kissed Bill lightly on the cheek. The thought popped into my head that these same lips that were kissing my husband had been slurping Chad's meat like a sex starved slut.....could they still have traces of his cum on them?
"Stop it!" I told myself in my mind. "You've got to get a grip!"
I had assured Chad that I could handle this, but now with Bill right beside me, I wasn't so sure. To make it worse, Bill was being so damn sweet that the whole thing seemed totally unfair to him.
Considering the matter of an evening out settled, Bill reached for the remote and flicked on the evening news. I decided the best way to handle the whole situation was to turn in for the night. I could hear the kids upstairs jumping around and giggling. Since they were in no hurry to go to sleep, I knew I was off the hook: Bill would never approach me for sex as long as the kids were up and about.
"I think that nap earlier just made me even more tired, Bill." I lied. "I'm going to go ahead and turn in."
Bill didn't even look up from the television. "Okay, hon. 'Night."
I got in bed, covered myself up and stared at the ceiling. I now knew that things weren't going to be as easy as I thought. How could I continue being with Chad if I felt like this later on? I had a lot of thinking to do. It didn't seem like sleep was going to come, so I knew I had all night to ponder my next move.
The next morning I felt a little better, despite the little over three hours of sleep I managed to get. In fact, what took place in Chad's room almost seemed like one of my fantasies....something wild and sinful that never really happened. I decided that I was over the worst of the guilt...and that if I could pretend it never happened, I'd be okay.
That's how I coped for the first several days. I didn't call Aunt Jan or try to contact Chad, nor did he try to reach me. I busied myself with the kids' activities, chauffeuring them from one activity to the next. A couple of times Bill asked if I'd like him to pick one of them up or take them to give me a break, but I thanked him and declined his offer. The busier I kept myself, the less I had to think.
When a week had passed, Bill's mom, Sandy, phoned and asked if she could keep the kids overnight. Her church was having a carnival to raise money for missions the next day, and wanted to take them with her. Bill seemed more than eager to drop them off. With a glint in his eye, he suggested I "dress up" because he thought it was high time we had a real date night.
I agreed, thinking this was just what I needed to prevent me from thinking about Chad. So, a bit later, Bill left with the kids to make the five mile trip to Sandy's. Meanwhile, I started a hot bath and went to pick out my clothes.
I had just laid out my outfit on the bed when the phone rang. Wanting to make sure the bathtub didn't overflow, I hurriedly turned the bath water down to a trickle, and rushed across the bedroom to pick up the phone. I heard the answering machine kick on in the living room, but I grabbed the cordless, interrupting the greeting.
"Hello?" I said breathlessly, having almost tripped on the throw rug in front of the phone stand.
"Missy? Are you alone?" Chad's voice sounded like it was coming from inside of a deep well. The reception was poor, but I knew it was him by his inquiry. It must have been a cel phone or a pay phone he was calling from. Glancing at the caller i.d. on the phone, I realized I guessed correctly. "Cellular call" was the title on the screen.
"Yes, I'm alone." I affirmed, making my way to the bathroom. "But I won't be for long. Bill shouldn't be only be gone a few minutes and I've got to be getting ready."
