(The following is an excerpt from my mother’s diary. The date goes back around twelve years, when she was around forty-three and I, an youth of twenty-two. She is a demure Bengali housewife from a somewhat upper middle-class family in Kolkata. I have translated the Bengali into English for the benefit of the non-Bengali speaking readers. The Bengali version is also given in brackets and italics.)
My eldest son, Sandip, attends university in Mumbai. During his summer vacation he could not come home because he was scheduled to attend an interview. Since my husband would not take the time from his business, I packed my bags and left for Mumbai.
I arrived at around four o’clock that afternoon. Sandip met me at the airport saying how pleased he was that I had come.
“Shall we go out for dinner this evening?”
(Aaj ratre ki amra baire kheye nebo?)
I asked.
“That would be nice Ma, but some friends and their girlfriends are coming over for a party.”
(Tahole bhaloi hoto kintu amar koyekjon bondhu o tader bandhobider asar kotha ache amar ekhane.)
“Do you have a girl coming too?”
(Tor bandhabi asche na?)
I asked, curious about my son’s college life.
“Sure. You have always been my best friend, you know.”
(Nischoi. Tumi to amar sob theke priyo ebong purono bandhabi.)
He surprised me by putting an arm around my shoulder and giving me a hug.
I laughed and blushed a little. My color heightened even more as my son held me slightly away from him. His gaze lowered over my body. I was painfully aware that I had added quite a few kilograms over the years, not to mention the age lines. Yet, to my amazement, Sandip didn’t seem to notice these things.
“You’re more beautiful and sexier than any girl I’ve ever met, Ma. Tonight, I’m going to pretend you’re my girl.”
(Ma tumi onyo je kono meyer theke sundar ebong sexy. Aaj ratre ami etai bhavbo je tumi amar premika.)
He pulled me roughly into his arms and growled, “So be warned, Ma. I’m out to get you.”
(Sabdhan Ma. Amar tomake chai.)
I couldn’t deny the spark of excitement I felt at the prospect of being pursued. It had been a long time since I felt really desirable to a man. “Quit fooling around,”
(Chup korbi tui)
was all I could think of to say. Suddenly, Sandip laughed and let me go.
I managed a shaky laugh myself. Yet all afternoon, I couldn’t stop thinking about the way my son had made me feel so sexy, desirable, and yes --- I admit it --- horny. So horny that I locked myself in the bathroom and masturbated
(Gude angli korlam)
. Feeling ashamed of myself, yet more relaxed, I settled down to preparing food for the party.
As my son’s friends and their girlfriends arrived, Sandip introduced me as Sumi, his best friend from Kolkata. Not one of them looked surprised that I was so much older than Sandip. Right from the start, they treated me as one of them. I couldn’t help but notice that a couple of the girls were on the heavy side too.
I wasn’t sure then, and I still wonder, if anyone realized that I was Sandip’s mother. Sandip certainly didn’t treat me as if I were his mother. You’ve heard about women being swept off their feet? Well, Sandip made me feel like a girl of eighteen again. He put me in the middle of everything going on. Not for one minute did he let me feel like I might be a drag or a wet blanket among his young friends. He fixed me drinks and brought them to me. He hung on to my every word. And we must have danced at least twenty times with Sandip holding me close, just as he would a girl he really cared about. And, between us, he sported a large erection.
I found it harder and harder to ignore that piece of meat. My brain told me not to respond to the intimate contact of our bodies, but my body didn’t listen. More than once, I melted against him.
My pussy was creaming so much that my panties were soaked and I almost climaxed right on the dance floor. Once or twice, I thought I felt my son’s fingertips brush the side of my breasts as we danced. I told myself it was an accident. I thought I felt his lips brush the top of my hair, I told myself I was imagining things.
Around midnight the party broke up. As soon as the door closed behind the last guests, Sandip turned to me. His eyes glinted with a strange light I’d never seen before. I wondered if he’d had too much to drink.
“Thanks, Ma. The party was a big hit. So were you. All the guys were giving you the eye. You’re so pretty. I told you they’d never suspect you are my real Ma.”
(Thanks Ma! Partyta darun jomechilo. Tumio jomiye diecho. Amar bondhura sudhu tomakei dekhchilo. Tumi eto sundar. Tomake bolechilam na ora bujhtei parbe na je tumi amar asal Ma.)
My son reached for me and pulled me up against him.
I arched my back and looked up at him, which was a mistake. Our lower bodies met. My heart fluttered wildly and my senses leaped to life. I could tell that my son hadn’t said what he did in order to make me feel good. I could tell he really meant it by the way his hard cock pressed into my belly.
“Let’s leave the cleaning up until tomorrow. I don’t leave until three,”
(Kalke sob poriskar kore nebo. Ami to dupur teenter age berobo na.)
he said.
I could feel the virile throbbing of his manliness. My insecurity with the situation made me suddenly anxious to escape from my son’s disturbing presence. I could tell that Sandip wasn’t drunk --- he was just horny as hell. For that matter, so was I, and I couldn’t wait to get to the bathroom and finger my cunt to bring myself off. But to my shock, Sandip wouldn’t let me escape. He held onto me.
“Wait a minute, Ma. There’s something I have to tell you.”
(Ma, ek minute. Tomar sathe kichu katha chilo.)
To my dismay, his voice broke slightly. He took a deep breath and said it quickly. “Since I was eighteen, I’ve dreamed of being with you like this.”
(Amar atharo bochor boyes theke tomar sathe ei bhabe thakar swapno dekhechi.)
Sandip looked down into my eyes and tightened his arms around me even more. On his face was an uncertain, yet determined look. His compelling eyes riveted me to the spot as he continued, his voice husky and intense.
“In my fantasy, your body is molded to mine, like it is now. You slide your arms up around my neck. Then you kiss me on the mouth, like a lover, putting your whole heart and soul into it.”