This is my first story, and is dedicated to Betsy, a friend who has hopefully enjoyed exploring fantasies like this with me over the past few months
As the rain lashed against the windows of the grim college room I was sitting in, my mind drifted. The lecturers voice faded into the background, organic chemistry seemed unimportant right now. I was worried about mum. Just over a year ago dad had left us. Left us for one of his co-workers, it had been going on for months apparently, until the day he confessed to mum and I, told us he never wanted to hurt us.....it just happened. Well he did hurt us.
Mum had gone into a shell, lost all confidence. She worked hard in two jobs to keep our heads above water. I chose not to speak to dad again, mum wanted me too, but she understood and respected my feelings about him, so we never mentioned 'him' in conversation. She was sad, lonely even, but always tried to smile and tell me she was alright. I wanted to help, be there for her, make her happy even.
The sound of scraping chairs on the floor, was when I realised that the college day was over. I said my 'see you tomorrows' to my friends and wandered home. I knew I had to try harder at college and concentrate more, just passed my 18th birthday, planning on going to uni, I had to climb out of this slump. Mum would be working until 7, so when I got back to the empty house, I found a note and a chicken stew in the oven. I told her not to bother, but as usual she has gone out of her way. Okay them, eat then study all night, that will be my plan. I warm the stew, and take it up to my room. I devour the stew, and decide to grab a quick shower, before the drag of studying.
I quickly undress, and go to the bathroom. I notice that there are no fresh towels, but remember seeing some on top of the fresh laundry which ,I had noticed on mum's bed,as I walked past her room, she must not have had time to put it away earlier. I push the door of her room wider and enter. I grab the towel on top of the pile and pull it off. As I do, something falls to the floor. It was 2 pairs of mum's panties. I bend to pick them up, the silky fabric, feels nice on my fingertips. My eyes linger on them, one black pair, one white, tiny briefs. I suddenly feel a familiar tingle, almost butterflies. I stare at them, my penis begins to grow, my mind screaming contradictory thoughts. I place them back, my penis still growing and I hurry back to my room. I sit, trying to compose myself.....
'It's your mum Craig.....it's your mum.,'...
The words escape from my lips, my penis now fully erect. How can this be happening, I mean mum is an attractive woman, as my friends like to wind me up about, but attractive to me....that's a whole new ball game, and one which I was struggling with right now. My penis, is almost painfully hard now, excitement overruling sense, I rush back to mum's room, place the panties on the bed and almost instinctively, slowly start to masturbate, it feels different somehow, much nicer, I focus on the surprisingly sexy and feminine underwear on the bed, thought appearing in my minds eye, and then I explode, shooting my sperm high into the air, it seems to never stop. Eventually the climax subsides, then immediately feelings of guilt, shame even. I realise I have to clean up, the bed and floor are covered. I grab some tissues from my room, and hope that I have managed to leave the room as I found it.
The following days were filled with feelings of guilt, but, and I found it difficult to admit to myself, excitement too. When I was home alone, it was difficult to stop myself creeping into mum's room again. I tried to knuckle down and study, but eventually my mind would drift to thoughts that shouldn't be there. Then I cracked....after several cans of lager, an empty house and lowered inhibitions, i found myself exploring the top drawer in the wardrobe unit, the colours and textures, silk and lace, a black lacy g string which had my already racing heart speeding up even more.
'Wow mum,' I whisper to myself,
I came within seconds of moving my hand up and down the erection in my hand. Another clean up operation to start. This continued on and off for weeks, the alcohol was no longer needed, but the guilty feelings still stayed with me afterwards. But the nights of finding a lacy suspender belt and stockings, or a lacy g string, imagining mum in them, I just couldn't help myself.
'Craig.......have you been.....in my room for anything lately,'.....
I could barely swallow the last bite of mashed potato as we sat at the kitchen table, it felt like a cricket ball in my throat. I force it down.
'In your room mum.......er no.....why would I ......be in your room,'
The silence seemed to last an eternity.
'It's just that.......some ....things.......are not quite how I left them,'.
'Then we must have a ghost mum,' .
I feel my stomach tightening. I feel her eyes on me...
'yeah.....a ghost,' she whispers.
'Gotta get that college work finished mum,' I shout as I quickly climb the stairs.
I flop onto the bed, that's it it tell myself, it has to stop now. It doesn't of course, within a few days, I have stashed a pair in my room, a favourite pair, black quite sheer and lacy.
Friday the 18th of May, that's a day that will stay with me, that moment when I went to my secret hiding place, and realised my prize wasn't there, the sudden feeling of nausea when I realised what must have happened. What the hell do I do now.
Of course I didn't have to do anything, trying to brazen it out by strolling into the kitchen, was doomed to failure.
'Craig.......could you come here for a minute,' my stomach tensed again.
'What is it mum...I have a ton of work to catch up on,'.
'I won't keep you long..I promise,' she replies. I sit down slowly
'I was.....oh god....there is no easy way of saying this , so I will just say it......i found these in your room......when I was cleaning.' The panties drop onto the coffee table.
' I ......have no idea......,' mum cuts me short.
'This has been going on for a while Craig.....I knew weeks ago....but....it's only now I have the courage to talk to you about it.'
' I am not angry with you.....i just don't.......understand.'
' I know things have been tough for us both, but we need this out in the open.....if you can be open and honest with me.....and I hope that you can.....i would....like....need to know.' My face burns it is so red.
'You don't have to be embarrassed about this,' she whispers.
'If you want me to be honest I will mum,'.....I take a deep breath.
'At first I think I just wanted to, protect you, be there for you, I know you have been very unhappy lately. Then something just clicked....I don't know how....or why.....I don't think I ever will, but I started to see you as a beautiful, kind.........attractive woman, as well as my mum. Oh god I am so sorry, you must be so ashamed of me.'
I see a tear rolling down mums face,
' No Craig.....no......I .....just wanted to understand......thank you for your honesty......and that was a lovely thing to say.......nobody has said that to me in a long time. I don't see what you see when I look in the mirror these days.'
' I promise it won't happen again mum,' I whisper.
I look up and see more tears in mum's eyes., Sensing my anxiety , she takes my hand.
'It's okay......i'm not upset........i just know that I have the most wonderful son, now I think we both need to get some sleep and let this settle, will you lock the doors if I go up.'
'Of course mum, go and get some rest,' We both take deep breaths.
'I just want to ask you to respect my privacy.....so no more sneaking into my room, '
I nod weakly 'Of course mum,' I whisper.
As she climbs the stairs, she glances at the her underwear on the coffee table,
' You don't have to put those back in my drawer,'...mum's voice tails off as she disappears into her room.
When eventually I slump into bed, emotionally drained a little while later, does the enormity, or the significance of what mum said starts dawn on me.
The days and weeks following, that night seemed to pass very quickly, we were perfectly fine with each other, mum seemed much brighter in herself, and in turn that made me feel better, I was able to study more, my college work improved.
The divorce settlement finally came through, and mum secured the house for us and a cash lump sum, which eased the financial pressures. Things were getting better. It was mum's birthday in a week, and I wanted to do some special. I knew that she could do with a break away from work and home, a trip away maybe, we both could do with it to be honest.
Not too far as mu didn't drive, and not too expensive. York seemed ideal, I know she said she has always wanted to visit there. I spent the evening looking for hotel rooms, and as it was fairly short notice, the only ones I could find were either twins or doubles. Well a double room was out of the question, so a twin it would have to be.
Mum was late in from work that evening and looked a little tired, I had prepared some food, and we sat in front of the tv, talked about our days, and finished with a few chocolates. I had a nagging feeling that she would tell me it was a terrible idea, but I brought up in conversation, how she looked like she needed a break. As I told her, I could see her eyes light up.
'Oh Craig......that is a wonderful idea,'
Well it's your birthday mum,.....I hoped you would like it.'
She leans over and hugged me,
'The best birthday present ever,' she whispers
'I can't wait'.
Seeing her so happy made me happy too, and the following week seemed to fly as the day approached. The day before the trip, I finished college early and arrived back home to find that mum must have been back and then popped out again, as I passed her bedroom, something caught my eye.
Mums travel case was on the bed, with what looked like new underwear next to it on the bed, I could just make out the tags, could just see it was black and lacy. My heart started thudding, the feelings I had tried to suppress, were back again.
I promised mum I would respect her privacy, but, maybe if i just peeked in a little. I immediately felt almost sick with excitement, as I pushed the door open a little, I heard a key in the front door almost froze in shock, but managed to skip across the landing to my room, my heart thumping as I sat on my bed. I realised my cock was hard, I masturbated, cumming hard.
Eventually I went downstairs said hi to mum, we ate chatted about our days, and about the arrangements for tomorrow. 'The train is at 11.00 am son, so we need to be ready for the taxi to the station at 10.15'. ' I know mum, you always have everything organised'. For the rest of the evening I catch up on some college work, and get an early night, sleep comes easy.
The next day goes like clockwork with mums organisation, the taxi is on time, the train is on time, and we arrive in York on time. A further taxi to the hotel follows and we check in. Mum seems happy, as we enter the lift, chatting away, a little nervously maybe. Mum checks the key number, and we find the door.
' I could only get a twin mum......., so we will have to manage,' I smile trying to make a joke of it.
The door opens and we enter. I immediately notice the bed situation, this is a double room.
'Mum....there must have been some mistake.......I booked a twin.....I will go back down to reception and get it changed.'
As I drop the bags, mum grips my hand......' 'No Craig....it's okay, I am sure we will manage somehow.'
Oh no.....does mum think I did this deliberately....my mind was racing, but before I could dig myself into a deeper hole, mum took control of the situation.
