This story is a sequel to Babysitting Benefits. Sorry it took so long to write. I was kind of surprised how many requests I got for more stories about me and Roxy. Okay, just Roxy. But you don't necessarily need to have read BB to enjoy this. (It's written a bit differently, by the way. First-person present-tense is hard to keep up.)
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I knew, even months ago, that it was going to be a beastly summer. I recall a day that was so hot--so many air conditioners were running--that it became the second biggest draw of electricity the city had ever seen. Fortunately, we live closer to the water, where the weather is more temperate. But even the cool sea breeze didn't help much this past Fourth of July.
The country's birthday was stinking humid and the whole of America was lounging around in a tank top with a melting ice pack down its shorts. So guess who decided to throw their annual Independence Day party under the brutal sun?
Uncle Bill may have been built like a bear, but he didn't have any fur. He alone was taking the heat in stride and merrily tended his barbecue grill. It was one of those propane behemoths that you could fit a whole side of beef on. I prefer charcoal myself; I like the smokey flavor. Unfazed by the relentless heat, he chitchatted with anyone in earshot, occasionally poking at enough hamburgers and hotdogs to feed a small army. (The way he spoke out against the government, one might think he was trying to recruit his extended family.)
The crumby weather aside, I was already having a bad day. You know those times when you wake up and just know it's going to be miserable? Yeah, it was like that. Every opportunity to be clumsy, do something wrong, or have an argument presented itself. I came real close to just punching somebody out.
Needless to say, the ride to Bill and Marlene's was a tense one. The last thing I wanted to do was see more family, but I'm never in such a bad mood that I'll turn down a free meal.
"I'm so glad you could make it!" Aunt Marlene had said. She gave everyone a quick peck on the cheek, trying not to touch anyone longer than necessary in the sweltering heat. "I hope you can talk Bill out of this madness," she added in a conspiratorial whisper.
"The barbecue or the militia?" my father joked.
"Either is fine with me. I'm in the mood to fire off a few shots," I added darkly, stalking away towards the kitchen to get a drink.
Marlene's children, Kerry and Roxanne, were in there already. They preparing some nice cold salads of the macaroni and potato variety to go with dinner. Kerry waved excitedly and I gave her a big hug, making the young girl squeal from the unwelcome closeness.
Roxanne had her head in the refrigerator, presumably digging up some ingredients. The older of my two cousins was easily recognizable by her pear-shaped hindquarters that made the kitchen seem more cramped than it was. She wore sandals and a blue mini-dress with a Hawaiian-themed pattern of palm trees and ocean waves. I could have sworn the tiny surfer on her right buttock was smirking at me.
"Tuck it in, cuz," I said, giving her ass a firm swat.
"Fuck! Keep your hands to yourself, perv!" snapped Roxanne. Her voice echoed slightly from within the cavernous appliance. I gave her a squeeze by way of reply and she kicked at me, swearing some more.
"Language!" Kerry interjected with a scandalized tone.
Leaning over my round-bottomed cousin, I peeked into the massive appliance and dipped my finger into the Ranch dressing for Uncle Bill's beloved Buffalo Wings. "So is it really going to suck today, or is it just me?" I asked around my cream-coated digit.
Roxanne shoved me out of the way with her ass and carried out a tray of ingredients for cole slaw. "You didn't have to come. No one would of missed you," she sneered.
I knew her words were simple banter, but I couldn't help recognizing them as woefully accurate. "And deny myself the pleasure of your company?" I countered half-heartedly. "Perish the thought." Roxy said something in reply, but I had already excused myself from the room.
My family usually held a few get-togethers on the major holidays. Memorial Day was a bust, since it rained like mad. No one could dissuade Bill from having this party in his own backyard, rather than in someone else's (air-conditioned) house, so the adults huddled in the shade of a few hastily erected beach umbrellas, but not close enough that they bumped clammy elbows. The children ran about, hopping from activity to activity with the sort of boundless energy that makes us ordinary mortals tired just watching them.
Me, I'm the sort of person that keeps to myself, so no one really notices when I disappear. I'm too old to hang with the kiddies, despite their efforts to keep me involved. And unlike my brothers, I'm not so 'mature' that discussions about careers and politics can hold my attention. Most of my day was spent enjoying the solitude of the house.
The street-facing picture windows were open to a humid breeze and it blew right through the house, so loitering anywhere on the first floor felt like standing behind a car exhaust. Not pleasant. The second floor was all bedrooms and I'm not so rude as to muck around in a someone's personal space uninvited. There was one relatively safe spot: the staircase connecting them. The air was still, but the stairs were draped in refreshing shadow.
I rested my head back on the top-most step and set a nice, frosty can of root bear on my forehead. Creaky footsteps rounded the hardwood floor at the foot of the stairwell. If they were headed upstairs, I didn't care, as long as they didn't step on me en route.
Someone large and plump settled down next to me, uncomfortable close in the humidity. "So what's your malfunction, huh?" Roxanne asked. Her snooty voice was the last thing I wanted to hear right then.
"Begone, wench!" I commanded. "Return to the depths from whence ye came!"
"You're a weird mood today," she observed.
