Friends Only

Donald (Donnie) Grimes is a tall good looking eighteen year old boy. He has an athletic build, but never played any organized sports. His muscular six-foot frame is due mainly to his dedication to lifting weights in the high school gym. He counts many girls among his friends, but regrettably none are his girlfriend. Donnie has a way of turning girls into 'just friends' and has no idea why he always ends up in the 'friend only' category.

Donnie's Mother is named Karen and he inherited her blonde hair and blue eyes. His winning smile and friendly personality was inherited from his father, Robert (Rob). Donnie is always invited to all the high school parties, but never hooks-up with the girl of his choice. He can never understand how he manages to turn off all likely prospects. His frustration is so strong he turns to his Dad for advice.

"Dad, how did you manage to get Mom to be your girlfriend?"

"I'm not sure I understand what you are asking, Son. We just met and fell in love and soon after that we married."

"How did you make Mom fall in love with you? How did you keep her from putting you in the 'friend only' category?"

"Well first of all, Son; you don't MAKE anyone fall in love with you. Love is something that happens between a man and woman when they find they are compatible. They are generally attracted by chemistry and build a relationship from there."

"Well...I have been attracted by chemistry to a lot of girls and at first they seem to be attracted to me. Things go well for a while, but I eventually end up in the 'friend' category. What am I doing wrong?"

Rob thought for a minute and then said, "I can tell you how to manage a boy-girl attraction from a man's point of view, but you will need to get input from your mother on what the girl is looking for in a relationship."

"I would feel too awkward talking with Mom about romancing a girl."

"I don't know why you would feel awkward. What better source about what a girl wants than your own Mother? She can tell you exactly what attracted her to me. She's your Mom and she wants you to be happy. You can count on her for the best advice."

"Okay...I'll think about asking Mom, but can you tell me right now how to win a girl over to the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship?"

Rob suggested they move their father-son conference outside by the swimming pool. He wanted their conversation to be private; just two guys talking about courting the female species. Rob tried to start with the basics because he didn't know where his eighteen year old son fell on the birds n' bees scale.

"When a girl is attracted to a boy, it's often way too subtle for him to pick up. But...don't worry, because there are a few female body language signs that indicate she likes you. However, you have to pay real close attention to notice them because many of them aren't very clear. You have to mainly watch her eyes. If you are busy gawking at her tits, you will miss the signs. You will also run the risk of turning her off. You come off looking like a creep if you constantly stare at her tits."

"Well...that's probably one of my problems. I have always been fascinated with tits. I usually spend a lot of time talking directly to their tits."

"That's YOUR body language sending her the wrong message. You don't want to stare at her tits because as I said that can creep a girl out."

Donnie knowingly shook his head in agreement. Rob continued with his fatherly advice.

"Well...I can see that body language is the area we need to work on first because it's often tough to figure out whether a girl really feels attracted to you or not. She may just be trying to be polite and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Better to know the truth straight up, don't you think? As I said a minute ago, when a girl is attracted to a boy, it's often way too subtle.

"Okay...so I first focus on not gawking at her tits. What DO I need to concentrate on?"

"Watch her body language, her facial expressions, her hands AND her eyes. Sometimes she will to play with her hair or touch her neck. When a girl is playing with her hair, I see that as showing off her feminine side. It's womanly and she's only trying to capture the attention of the person she is interested in at the moment. From my experience, when a girl intentionally does these things when chatting with you, she's just trying to show you she is into you chemically speaking. If she consistently does this stuff, you are good to go in the "like" department. Often, she's going to twirl her hair. However, beware; this move can also signify she's board and wants to move things along a little faster. Watch her eyes for clues."

"I've heard people talk about body language, but never gave it much thought. Do girls really give off involuntary signals with their body language?" Donnie asked.

"Absolutely...body language is something they can't always control. She may not even be aware she is giving off these signals. You must learn to watch for them. When a girl raises her eyebrows with a smile, she's showing you pleasure. Translation...she likes you. Often when a girl likes a boy, she will unconsciously raise her eyebrows and might even lower her eyelids sort of shyly. She could lick her lips to catch your gaze or perhaps blink her eyes. Just be alert to them all. Also, keep in mind if the girl is shy, she might be very subtle with any of these body language signs, so you'll have to pay close attention."

"I think I like knowing about body language. For one thing it will help me to not dwell on her tits so much. What are some other signals I need to watch?"

"The giggle is another sign. When a girl giggles, she's simply bringing out her fun-loving youth. She wants you to know that she is fun and alive and easygoing. If she makes eye contact with you when she's giggling, that's a fantastic signal she is into you. The eyes are the secret to the soul, right?"

"So, I've heard." Donnie remarked.

"Also watch for the back arch. When a girl arches her back, this makes her legs and breasts the center of attention. She's unconsciously trying to emphasize her body in order to get your attention. Often girls will do this to capture undivided attention from far off. Just be sure you don't mix this up with her just trying to stretch."

"What do you mean by back arch?"

"It means she sticks her butt out to obviously draw attention to her feminine attributes. Arching her back in a suggestive manner (basically sticking her butt out) reflects behavior which almost every female mammal exhibits during estrus. Estrus is the sign that all our male mammalian cousins are waiting to see. The female has approved of his mating dance and is sexually receptive. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself, so why don't we hold that particular signal until you are older and ready to seek a permanent mate. I think your Mom would object to me telling you about the mating dance at your age."

"Hey...if it's the female's way of telling me she wants to get laid, I'm all for learning about it right now."

"We will table that for right now. I am more interested in teaching you how to stay out of the 'friend only' category. When you are financial able to support a wife and child without my help, we can discuss ways of getting you laid."

"Okay," Donnie sighed.

"Girls have a very specific look they are going to give when they are interested in a boy. She will likely raise one shoulder and half look back over that shoulder at you, so you get a side profile. Apparently, this is supposed to be a seductive look, the one you will see girls use when posing in a magazine. Keep your eyes open for this one. There are dozens of ways a girl can use her lips to pique the interest of a guy. One of the popular ones is applying lipstick slowly and seductively. Some girls choose to eat their food in a slow and sensuous manner; one that is meant to arouse a guy. If she's sucking seductively on her straw or pausing with a banana or strawberry in her mouth, she's definitely trying to tell you she likes you with body language."

Donnie grinned real big and scooted closer to his Dad. Rob realized he was getting back into the art of seduction area.

"Wait a minute; let's hold off on that one also, it sounds like I'm telling you how to seduce a girl."

"Look Dad...I know you don't intend to teach me how to go out and lure a girl into my bed, but don't you at least think I should know what the signs are if a girl is wanting to have sex with me? I don't want the reputation of being sexually stupid. It would be embarrassing if a girl is trying to relay the message she wants to have sex me and I sit there like a dork. I can always turn her down gracefully without destroying her ego and our friendship."

"Okay...you have a point. Just promise me you will not discuss any sensitive father-son stuff like that with your Mom. You know the stuff I am talking about. I don't need her on my ass for leading you astray."

"I promise, Dad."

Donnie spent the next two weeks practicing the body language technics he learned from his Dad. He found out immediately there was a lot of truth to what his father had said. Donnie noticed right away a change in how the girls related to him. He still felt awkward when it came to initiating a kiss. He decided to ask his Mom about that issue.

"Mom...Dad told me about watching a girl's body language to see if she is attracted to me, but how do I know when it's okay to kiss a girl? Sometimes when I lean in for a kiss she may offer a cheek instead of her lips or she holds me at bay with her hand. It's embarrassing when that happens."

"I understand what you are saying, Donnie. Knowing if someone will be receptive to a kiss can be the source of quite a bit of anxiety. However, it doesn't need to be. If you know what to pay attention to in someone's conversation and body language, you can actually tell pretty accurately how well you're doing and whether or not a kiss would be welcomed. Girls often communicate more subtly than boys. They very often use understated body language cues rather than words or blunt physicality. So, keep reading her body language to find out how in tune you are to that girl's kissing language and figure out if or when to make your move."

"Wow, I never knew how important body language was until Dad told me about it."

"Just what did your Dad tell you about body language?"

"Oh...pretty much what you are saying. I need to watch their eyes and facial expressions."

"There's no single sign that someone wants to be kissed, but you can pay close attention to how she engages and interacts with you to get insight into whether she might welcome your affection. Things such as; Does she hold eye contact? Does she smile and laugh? Does she keep glancing at your lips? If so, it may be a sign she's thinking about kissing."

"Wow...that seems pretty easy. I just need to pay more attention to what she does and less attention to what I want her to do."

"Slow down buddy. I didn't mean to over simplify. None of this is guaranteed to work 100%, but if you pay attention, it's often relatively easy to pick up on her feelings about the relationship between the two of you. However, there are a lot of other things that need to be taken into consideration."

"Like what?"

"Pay attention to her level of enthusiasm during conversations. If she seems bored or anxious to get through the date, it's most often a pretty clear sign she's not going to feel ready for a kiss. If she's enthusiastic during the date and suggests you go somewhere else to prolong the date...like to get coffee, go for a walk, etc., it's a good sign that she's enjoying the date and may be open to a goodnight kiss."

"What else should I watch for?"

"Read her posture. Note how she holds her body when you're together. If she turns her body towards you (shoulders, chest, and legs or feet) that's a positive sign. If she leans forward and keeps her arms open rather than crossed, those are all positive body language cues. An open posture, while a good sign, needs to be taken in context as part of a series of positive cues. A girl may have open and engaged body posture but may be feeling friendlier towards you than amorous. If she gets close enough to touch and/or frequently leans into your personal space, that's often a strong indicator of interest. Just be sure she isn't leaning in simply because it's hard to hear you."

Donnie had renewed confidence after his talk with his Mom. He went to work quickly plying the techniques learned from his Dad and his Mom. He noticed a great improvement in his new relationships with the girls in his class. He was out of the 'friend only' category and had girls actively seeking to be his girlfriend. However; he wanted more. He wanted to get laid. He needed to go back to his father and learn how to get into a girl's pants.

"Dad I need to know more about the signals a girl gives off when she is sexually aroused. You know...just so I don't look stupid."

His Dad knew exactly what Donnie had on his mind. The boy is a normal horny teenager and naturally wanted to experience sex with a girl. Rob thought back to when he was Donnie's age and decided to give him the benefit of his teenage experiences.

"Remember...you can not tell your Mom I told you this stuff. You promised to keep it between the two of us."

"I promise to keep it between the two of us," Donnie answered.

"Okay...you need to learn the difference between a girl's blushing and flushing. Both result in a red face. When a girl blushes, this is a simple biological reaction to a simplistic excited emotional state. She could just be shy or embarrassed but more often than not, this is a body signal she likes you. When a girl is deep with pleasure or sexual arousal, she will change her shade to deep red, so keep your eye out for that. That's what I call flushing and it can be an indicator she is ready for sex."

"Now that's the kind of stuff I need to know, Dad. What else should I watch for?"

"Pay attention to her breathing. When a girl is really attracted to a guy, or she is contemplating sex with him, her breathing will in fact increase noticeably. Maybe not noticeable to her, but you will certainly recognize it. On the other hand, if she's having some sort of anxiety attack, that doesn't necessarily mean she likes you. The difference should be pretty easy to spot. Also, watch to see if her nostrils are flaring nicely. This one is completely uncontrollable. I can promise you; she isn't doing that on purpose. Experts report if a girl is sexually drawn to a boy, one positive body signal might be to flare her nostrils."

"I should be writing this down. What else do I look for?"

"If a girl is willing to actively reach over and touch you anywhere, this is a solid signal she really does like you. Otherwise she would keep her hands to herself. Girls only touch boys they are comfortable with.

"Keep going, Dad...I want to know everything you know about seducing the opposite sex."

"Just remember what I've told you so far and go out and experiment. It's tough to figure out whether a girl likes you or not by her female body language signs. But you do have to start somewhere. Reading body language has never ever been an easy thing. Partially, because girls aren't usually the first ones to approach a boy. Girls are good at flirting and that's truly hard for most boys to interpret. However, the body language does not lie because it's not a conscious action. In other words, it's really not controllable. My parting advice is go out and practice these techniques. Let me know how well they work for you. And remember when you are talking with Mom; we never had this conversation."

*******

In less than a week the premier event of the school year will take place at Donnie's high school. The annual football HOME COMING DANCE will be held in Donnie's high school gymnasium. The school was all a buzz with excitement. The school maintenance department was busy assembling the stage for the band and the dance committee was cheerfully hanging decorations.

Donnie's parents were puzzled when he announced he had no plans to attend. This was his senior year and he would be going off to college in the fall. He still had no steady girlfriend, but he was now getting along fabulously with the girls in his class. Donnie's Dad pulled him into the den and asked if there was a problem that prevented him from attending the dance. Donnie just shrugged his shoulders and offered no explanation. His father lowered his voice so his wife couldn't hear the exchange between him and his son.

"Look, Son...you told me you wanted to get laid. Well, the high school dance is bursting with opportunities to do just that. You will be surrounded by young high school girls who are soon to be college girls, and probably just as anxious as you to experiment. The dance will allow you to hold a girl close and not only see their reaction, but to feel and smell their emotions. You couldn't ask for a better setting."

"I understand all that Dad. I am ashamed to admit it, but I don't know how to dance.

"What do you mean, you don't know how to dance? I thought every kid getting ready to go off to college knew how to hold a girl in their arms and move around a dance floor."

"Well...I don't. That's another reason I was always being put in the category of 'friend only'."

"When you are dancing you can try all the techniques we discussed about getting a girl aroused. And all of it will seem natural to the girl. You can kiss her on the neck. You can nibble on her ear lobe. You can feel her nipples get hard against your chest. You can press your cock against her thigh. You can hear the change in her breathing. Before the dance is over you can almost have her begging for sex."

"I know all that Dad, but I still can't dance."

"Your Mom can teach you to dance in just a matter of hours."

"I can't ask Mom to teach me to dance. I would feel like a real dork."

"Nonsense...your Mom would be more than happy to teach you to dance. She loves you and wants you to find the girl of your dreams. I'll be glad to ask her for you."

"No...Dad, I'll ask her. I just need to compose what I plan to say to her."

"You know...I have another thought. You can try all those arousal techniques on your Mom while dancing and get a first hand look at how they work."

"Daaaddd...I could never in a million years try any of those things with Mom. First of all, I would never have the nerve and second, she would kill me the first time I tried such a thing."

"Your Mom might get mad at you and scold you, but that's better than getting slapped by a girl on the dance floor. And I guarantee her scolding won't be as embarrassing as getting slapped in public by a girl."

"I'll ask Mom to teach me to dance, but I am NOT going to nibble on her earlobe or press my cock against her thigh. I don't want to do anything to cause her to lose respect for me."

Donnie's first dance lesson with his Mom was a total disaster. He was nervous, tense and awkward. He stepped all over her feet. She finally suggested they dance bare foot in order to prevent her toes from being crush by his shoes. It was the first time he had held any female that close and it totally unnerved him.

His second lesson was a little better. His Mom suggested they wear sweats and do stretch exercises before each lesson. It did help him to relax and take the edge off. She suggested he stop watching his feet and maintain eye contact with her. It would him not look so awkward on the dance floor. Donnie took his Mom's advice and looked her squarely in the eyes. He had looked at his Mom hundreds of times over the years but had never really seen her until now. When he gazed into her electric blue eyes it helped him to stop thinking about the dance steps, but it forced him to pay closer attention to his Mom's emotional expressions. He had never done that in the past and it had its pros and cons.