It was Valentine's Day four years ago when my family was shattered. I was sixteen and ready to go out on a date when the sheriff deputy pulled into our driveway. He had a serious demeanor when he asked if my mother was home. I told him apprehensively that I would get her.
Mom had burst out in tears, appearing to know what the deputy was about to tell her.
"Some hikers found him," he told Mom solemnly. "There was this card in his pocket addressed to you." It was in a red envelope, typical of a Valentine's Day card.
Mom took the card out from the envelope, opened it and went into shock, it slipped from her fingers. I bent down to retrieve it from the floor. I felt compelled to read it.
'I'm sorry but it must end this way. I'm sorry I am no longer the husband you deserve. Good-bye my Valentine.'
The deputy tried to console my mother when my sister Nicole came out of her room. She was dressed for her Valentine's Day date, screaming sexy red dress, like she was ready for a fun evening. She stopped when she saw the deputy and my mother crying, a worried look came over her face. I went to her with the card still in my hand.
"Dad killed himself," I informed my sister. "Some hikers found him in the desert." I showed her the Valentine's Day card our father left for our mother. Nicole read it, her jaw dropped open.
The sheriff deputy told Mom she would need to go and identify the body. He would drive her to the morgue. I took out my phone and cancelled my date. I told the deputy that I would drive. Nicole's date had arrived and when she told him the situation he left.
"I will go with you," Nicole told Mom. "Let me change first," she said.
Since then, Valentine's Day has become a somber day of remembrance and regret. Nicole broke up with her boyfriend and I never seemed to be able to have a lasting relationship with any of the girls I dated. Lisa, the girl I was going to take out that evening tried to come on to me several times but I just couldn't connect anymore. It was almost as if we were cursed.
A couple of years ago we were sitting at the dinner table with Mom on Valentine's Day when Nicole revealed the plans she had with her boyfriend that fateful evening.
"Billy had reserved a room at the hotel where we were going for a romantic dinner," she relayed to us. "I was going to lose my virginity that night. I was so ready."
"Are you still a virgin?" I asked out of curiosity.
"I popped my cherry with a dildo so I wouldn't be embarrassed if I ever did have sex with a guy," she confessed. "But, yea, I guess I am still a virgin."
"What about you Eric? You don't seem to hang with anyone long enough to get that far," my sister inquired into my relationships.
"I got pretty far with Lisa but not all the way," I confessed.
Last year when Mom asked why I couldn't seem to hold on to a relationship I told her and Nicole about my last man to man talk with Dad.
"Dad told me about his problem," I started. "He said he couldn't get an erection anymore with you, Mom," I said not wanting her to feel bad but it was the truth. "He said he was fine getting hard and masturbating," I remembered. "was there a problem between you and Dad?"
"It was my fault," Mom confessed. "A few months before your father caught me, uh, in bed with someone else."
"What! You were sleeping with someone else?" Nicole blurted out astonished. "Who was he?" she demanded.
"It wasn't a he," Mom responded. "You remember Karen who lived across the street?"
"Oh yea," I recalled. "She moved away right after Dad killed himself," I said trying to put the situation with my mother in perspective.
"Well, Karen and I were, I don't want to say lovers because we were not in love," Mom explained. "We just enjoyed having sex with each other, pleasuring each other, having orgasms. It was sexual pleasure I didn't get from your father."
"Did Dad ever get you to reach an orgasm?" Nicole asked Mom. "I mean, I can get myself off rubbing my clit but I never could just riding a dildo. I don't know if a real dick could do the job."
"No. Your father never got me off," Mom told us. "We were never good in bed. He would just cum in a couple of minutes and then fall asleep. I was never satisfied."
"Do you think that's why he killed himself?" Nicole conjectured. "Because he felt impotent and couldn't please you."
"Maybe," Mom sighed.
We let the conversation die and sat in silence.
A couple of weeks ago Mom told us she had rented a cabin on Mt. Lemmon for the Valentine's Day weekend. She told me I could skip my Friday classes that day and she asked Nicole to take the day off work so we could spend a three day weekend away as a family.
"Look," Mom said to us. "We have to break this Valentine's curse. No more sitting around regretting and blaming and despairing over what happened four years ago. We are going to have fun this year. Maybe there will be some snow left and we can go skiing."
We had a few winter storms that left snow on the mountains above six thousand feet. I was actually looking forward to it hoping to go skiing again. Growing up Dad had taken us on yearly skiing vacations to Colorado.
As Valentine's Day approached it became obvious that all the snow had melted on the mountain, the weather had been hotter this year with days over eighty degrees here in the desert valley. Still, the change in environment was welcoming.
We drove up late that Friday morning stopping for lunch before getting to the cabin.
"Would anyone like some of our famous pie?" the server asked as we finished eating our lunch.
"Definitely," Nicole chirped.
"You better watch it," Mom teased Nicole. "You're getting a little chubby girl."
"Mom," Nicole responded. "That's not fair."
"Mom's right," I chimed in making digs at my sister. "That pie looks like it's going straight to your butt." Actually I thought Nicole had a sexy round butt, perfectly complimenting her round large breasts.
"Alright, have some pie," Mom laughed.
We arrived at the cabin and unpacked the car. It was a two bedroom cabin with a living room and small kitchen. Mom had brought some food to cook so we didn't need to eat out considering there was only the one restaurant in the small village. I also noticed she brought several bottles of wine, reds and whites.
The weather was nice, temperatures in the fifties, though we knew it would get colder when the sun went down. The cabin came with plenty of firewood so all we needed was to collect some small kindling to get the fire going.
Mom baked a pan of lasagna for dinner. Afterward we went to the living room continuing to drink the red wine we started at dinner.
