I will never forget the first time I met my aunt.
I had heard about her all my life of course, it's not just anyone that could say that they were related to Das Mira after all, but her life in the stage and on the road were so separated from the one that I led with my mom that I would have never imagined we were related unless I had been told.
Das Mira, or Miranda for the rest of the family, was someone my mom fondly talked about and my father, before he died, used to openly admire. Apparently both my folks had met through her. And although me and ma got her music for free, got free tickets to her concerts and generally got offered a lot of things having to do with her job...the most I had ever interacted with her was through a video phone call.
I wasn't ready for her when my aunt suddenly came into our lives. Although, to be fair, I don't think being ready for her was possible anyway, she was just that much of a force of nature. But I wasn't given the chance to prepare myself until, one week after my 18th birthday, my famous aunt...just showed up at the door.
"Alphonse, sugar, how you doin?" My blue-and-purple haired aunt said one afternoon when I opened up the door.
"Aunt Mira?" I asked, baffled at seeing her in person.
Or at all.
"Oh, you are so tall in real life!" Miranda crooned as she ignored my question and enveloped me in a hug.
Now, my height wasn't much to brag about; 6 feet even which was just about the average where I lived. But I guess I looked smaller on the phone.
"Ah, sure, b-but what are you doing here?" I asked as the feeling of the enormous tits that hung off her chest pressed against my crotch.
Because, you see, my aunt was...kind of a short woman.
Now, my mother wasn't no giant either, but at 5 feet 6 inches the woman who had borne me was about even for the area.
My aunt was about an inch over 5.
I guess the cameras never did it any justice, because the tattooed arms that squeezed me as hard as they could never reached past my chest.
Which, honestly, just made her assets even more exaggerated.
Even before I met her, I couldn't deny what was obvious: My aunt Miranda was a bomb shell.
Even though she was that short, she lugged around breasts big enough to fill an E bra. But despite that...I could feel how perky they were. And while I pondered the impossibility of that, I could see the swell of her ass from my vintage view.
She had the ass of a horse. Nicki Minaj be damned, THIS was an ass that could clap!
But that wasn't all, as her hips extended farther then my shoulders did, and I practiced sports!
But if my aunt were a butterface, she would have never risen into a star. So it figured that this also stood out.
There was a tattooed star on her cheek, and purple eyeblush under her eyes. Her lips were bright red, a shade that matched her blues and purples, as the nose that all of my family shared sat on her face. It was slim. It was cute. Her jawline was slim and, at 36 years of age, still made her look young.
That is, if it wasn't for the lines in the corners of her eyes...
I guess the camera wasn't always truthful after all.
All in all, I felt very confused, very surprised and very...confused as this tiny woman whose half-blue and half-purple hair marked her as a star and family just came into my life.
"Oh, just checking the goods," My aunt said as she gave me a very slimy smile, my imagination maybe imagining her tits pressing harder against my crotch.
"W-what?" I stuttered as she giggled and, blessfully, stopped my hug.
"I am bringing the goods sugar," She told me as she started rummaging through her bags.
"R-right," I said, kicking myself for having misheard her.
Browsing through her valuables, she pulled out a present.
"Happy birthday Alphonse," She brightly said as she gave me a box. It was wrapped in blue and purple paper, just like her hair, but the hint of perfume about them made them feel a bit more personal.
Still weirded out by the whole experience, I wordlessly took it.
"Um, thanks," I said, having expected the present but not...her.
"Don't mention it sugar," Miranda waved me off as she started walking in.
"Um, Aunt Mira? What about your bags?" I asked as I stared at them.
"Oh just put them in your room," Miranda offhandedly told me as she searched for my mom. My mouth dropped as I wondered if I heard her right.
"A-aunt Mira, are you..." I started to ask before the hurried pitter patter of my mom's footsteps revealed the woman who had given birth to me.
Side by side, anyone could have seen the resemblance there, even if my mom towered over her sister.
"Miri!" My mom gushed as she launched herself into a hug.
"Cat!" My aunt exclaimed as she mirrored the tackle.
"Oh, I was expecting you tonight! Did everything went well? Are you tired from your trip?" My mother breathed out in a hard to follow stream.
"I wanted to be here as early as I could! The trip was shit but it was quick. And yes, my contract is done!" My aunt just as quickly answered back.
Wait, she had been expected? And her contract was done?
Why did I never get told things...
"Oh Al, honey," My mom called me out as she positively vibrated in place with excitement, "Do you mind bringing your aunt's bags inside?"
"Oh sure," I said, picking them up, "Where though?"
"Oh just bring them to your room," My mother offhandedly said, making me stare at her too.
Did...was the guest room bad or something?
"Did you get the pictures?" My mother asked my aunt, ignoring my incredulous stare.
"Oh yeah, he's exactly what I thought he would be!" My aunt answered back, taking a second to give me a glance.
It was too appreciative for my comfort.
"But, honestly Cat, he looks so much better in person," Miranda purred and I was beginning to feel confused. My mother was just happily nodding along!
"What are you talking about?" I finally decided to ask, bags still hanging off my hands.
"Oh, I guess I didn't tell you," My mother said as if realizing it for the first time.
I just stared at her until she also realized that that wasn't an answer.
"Well, hon, I've been sending your aunt photos of you," My mother replied, making me think that my stare had failed.
"Whhhhy?" I decided to ask.
"Oh, didn't I tell you?" She asked again and I was a heartbeat away from stomping away into my room, "She's going to live with us now!"
The world felt slightly unsettled as I looked in surprise at my beaming aunt and my satisfied mom.
"Okay, okay, okay," I said as I walked in, trying to get used to the idea of my world famous aunt now living with us, "But why my room?"
"Because she asked?" My mother replied, as if that answer were enough.
Which now made me stare at my aunt.
"Oh come on sugar, this is the first time I've met you for real in our lives!" My aunt said as she walked towards me, her hips swinging back and forth, "I'd like to get to know you better is all!"