Forbidden: a Taboo Love Story

"Oh my Gosh! There's no way! It's fake! It has to be." thought Josslyn, heat rising to her cheeks as she touched the pause button on the video playing before her eyes. Her iPhones battery was almost dead from the last 2 hrs of watching video after video.

*Flashback*

Earlier that day she had been sitting with her friends Kara, Chloe and Anna at lunch. Typical conversation had been bouncing around their table when Kara abruptly caught the attention of all three sets of eyes and ears that had been surrounding her for the last 45 minutes.

"Ever hear of anyone who committed incest?" asked Kara.

Blink. Blink. Blink... Huh? Silence. No answer was received aside from curious looks from all around.

"Seriously guys! Haha! I overheard my Mom and Aunt Joy discussing some siblings that had lived down the street from them when they were growing up. I guess they liked to 'keep it in the family' if ya know what I mean hahahaha!" said Kara as she waggled her eyebrows at us. A big goofy grin stealing across her face.

Finally I spoke up with curiosity getting the better of me. "What? You mean like a brother and sister?" My eyebrows knit together as my brain tried to wrap around this thought.

"Precisely! That's exactly what I'm talking about Jossie. Can you imagine!" - Kara giggled back using a nickname reserved only for those closest to me.

"Yuck! Not in a million years! Not even with someone else's va-jay-jay!" squealed Anna whilst scrunching up her nose!

"Well, I for one can't imagine it at all considering I don't have a brother, and my sister certainly isn't enough to make me want to switch teams!" said Chloe snorting as the playful smirk slid from her face and turned into a grimace.

At this, a round of laughter exploded around the table causing a few heads to turn in our direction. Times like these really made me wonder if I should get new friends. As I grinned, I thought absolutely not! These randomly bizarre conversations made my day! My friends literally were a barrel of monkeys - MY barrel of monkeys - that ever so devotedly painted rainbows and blue skies on each & every day's canvas!

Conversation seemed to fizzle for a few minutes as everyone quickly tried to finish up their lunches before the bell rang. Everyone seemed to be stuck inside their own head. I was just taking a sip of my water when...

"Then again, if I had brothers like Jossie's, I sincerely might reconsider!" giggled Anna as the bell finally chimed an end to our lunch hour and sent us all scrambling.

I couldn't help but to sputter a little as I choked on my water. I shook my head laughing and shrugged at her as the other girls vigorously shook their heads up and down in excited agreement. We all threw our garbage away and made our way into the hall to go our to separate ways for our 5th period classes.

While they had all been smiling at this sudden agreement on my brothers incestuous appeal, I was too caught off guard to really give any real reaction to this sudden perspective. I hadn't really given any deep thought to such a thing as my brothers good looks... least of all 'sleeping with them'!! Ugh! Lord help me. Not even going to go there right now!

Ok, well maybe I had, but not in great detail. I mean sure, I knew that all my friends thought that Matty and Sammy were hot. I even knew that a lot of girls had crushes on them to my profound annoyance.

I say to my annoyance, because this fact alone usually led to girls wanting to be friends with me in hopes of getting closer to one of my brothers. Luckily for me, I had friends who were interested in more than Sammy's relationship status or Matty's plans for the weekend. And Matty and Sammy rarely, if ever dated, let alone had shown any interest in many girls... especially those my age.

At any rate, I know Sammy and Matty are handsome. Actually, very ridiculously so. Any fool could see that. Not only that, but they are really great guys. Neither of them really whore it up or have any ambition to live the typical life of a guy with a weapon of mass destruction in his pants. I'm honestly proud to call them my brothers. They gave me copious amounts of faith that one day I might find a guy worth his weight in gold. One that would hopefully measure up to my brothers in every regard.

I like to think that having a little sister has kept them tame in some ways. After all, God knows how unbelievably protective they are over me. I don't mind though. It's not as if their brotherly protection has ever put a damper on my life in any way. At least not as of yet. I suppose it might if I ever manage to snag a boyfriend.

Frowning, I refocused myself on getting to Mr. Ebbs science class before the bell rang. Just 3 more classes after this and I can finally leave this hell and go home and relax for the day.

*End of Flashback*

I sigh to myself. No doubt I'm going to have permanent creases above and between my eyebrows. Taking a death breath and consciously attempting to slow my racing heart, I close my eyes.

After what seemed like a never ending school day fraught with ceaseless perverse thoughts and a racing pulse, I had been sitting here "researching" sibling incest. I couldn't help myself. I'm curious. I mean, sure, I'm not an idiot. Of course it really happens. There's just something about the need to see it with my own eyes. Is it really just a bunch of 'backwoods hillbillies?' Or is it more common than I know?

It seems so. Especially as the last 40 videos I've skimmed through visibly suggests. I sit in shock and even with some awe feeling like I've only multiplied my curiosity on the subject. What is it that has grabbed my attention so thoroughly about this? The whole idea of a parent and child sleeping together makes me want to throw up on the spot, but seemingly not so much when I think of a brother & sister.

Flashes of Sammy's lips or Matty's intense eyes continue to assault me completely unbidden. I feel like a caged animal and jump at every slight noise. Rubbing my head & sighing to myself I sit up. It's too nice of a day to just sit here. I curse myself and telepathically send a few curses at Kara, Chloe & Anna. This is all their fault! I rise and go to my dresser. Opening up my second drawer, I pull out my black halter bikini.

I begin stripping out of the jean shorts and tank top from earlier as I stare at my reflection in the mirror for a moment before slipping on the bikini bottoms and then hastily tying the matching top around my neck and back. My long, auburn hair hangs loosely around my shoulders and trails down my back in loose waves. My hazel eyes blink back at me furiously as I take in my face and allow my eyes to wander down past my neck and to my nicely sized breasts. Not too small and not too big, I think to myself.

I allow my hand to brush over my toned abs as I admire my defined hips & thighs. Checking out my tight ass, I turn on my heel & make my way to the door. I'm decidedly sure that a nice dip in the in-ground pool is exactly the fix that I need to forget this entire subject. I skip out of my bedroom and down the hall to grab a beach towel from the hall closet. It isn't long before I'm sliding the patio doors closed behind me with my towel in hand and standing next to my mental savior. The sound of the small poolside waterfall trickles and bubbles, calling to me.

I drop the towel right where I stand and I sprint the few yards and dive head first into the sparkling clear, blue water. Ahhhhh, heaven! The temperature of the water is just perfect. I can feel my body cooling and relaxing in the rippling water. The heaviness is leaving me as the water laps and glides across my skin.

I swim end to end until my muscles start a delicious ache before I finally make my way to the edge of the pool. Climbing out, beads of water slide down my body, pooling at my feet. I love that feeling. You know, the one where you are just emerging from the water. There's nothing like it. The smell of sun and chlorinated pool water clings to my skin and surrounds me. I breathe deep and stretch with a sigh of contentment.

I walk over to my towel and spread it out over the lounge chair and sit down. Sitting back and stretching out, I decid to savor the last remaining rays of the sun before it fades from the afternoon sky.

It isn't long after I've closed my eyes and drifted off, when a familiar deep voice begins lulling me from the recesses of my sleep.

"Sleeping. Mmmmm..." I murmur.

More garbled words try and fail to penetrate my fogged mind. I'm happy to ignore whomever is pestering me as a chill overtakes my senses sending me shivering. I squeeze my eyes tighter to try to get back to my unconscious bliss.

A hand suddenly snakes its way under my knees while another slides its way under my back. Suddenly I'm being lifted up. My arms instinctively go up and wrap around the neck of the person holding me in my startled state and my eyes crack open but the sleep has yet to clear from them thanks to the blinding light from the patio.

"Someone must've been awfully tired. C'mon Jossie, I'll carry you to your room, but you need to get out of this wet bathing suit or your going to get sick." A voice whispers near my ear and warm breath dances across my neck forcing me from my haze with a shiver.

Squinting my eyes open again, "Sammy?" I query.

"Yeah, Jossie?" says Sammy

"Mmmm, Thanks. I didn't realize it was you at first. I can't believe I fell asleep out here. What time is it?" I yawn.

"No problem sis. It's 7:30." Sammy answers as he carefully makes his way through the patio doors and into the house.

"Wow!" I sigh, settling into his arms as he turns and leans down to slide the door closed behind us. I feel so safe and secure in my big brothers arms. His muscles ripple as we slowly start to make our way up the stairs. They really are nice muscles. Not grossly bulky, but more like a swimmers muscles. Defined and toned to perfection. The kind of muscles that I drool over. I tense as I realize the thought I've just had as I open my eyes to fully look at Sammy. His eyes meet mine in that moment with a question seeming to form in their depths. "What's wrong, sis? Are you o.k.?"

"Oh, uhm. Yeah, haha. Just realizing how cold it is and how grateful I am to have a brother like you!" I quip nervously, stumbling over the words. "I can walk the rest of the way you know. I'm awake now."

All but ignoring me as we reach the top of the stairs, he replies, "Heh! Happy to take care of you. But are you sure that's all sis? You seem...I don't know... nervous or something?" Sammy says quizzically and furrows his brow.

With my heart beginning to jackhammer wildly in my chest, "Uhmmm, must just be from the cold! I might've gotten pneumonia if you hadn't rescued me ya know! I think I'm just startled from being woken up and everything. I'm fine Sammy. Honest." I say as we finally reach my bedroom door.

Sammy leans a shoulder forward and grasps the door knob to gain entry. I realize that I've been dumbfoundedly staring at him with my head resting against his chest this entire time. I would imagine that if you wanted to create a picture dictionary, you could place a picture of Sammy under the words handsome, gorgeous, perfection and oh so many others.

His dark brown hair and beautiful emerald green eyes are mesmerizing. Breathtaking in fact. His lips are full and his jaw squared. I guess I've shamefully never really took notice on just how beautiful he really is. Of all times to notice such a thing it would be now! Just my luck! It is hard looking away and my nerves are getting the better of me. I feel my nipples pebble and goosebumps break out across my skin. I find that I am acutely aware of the warmth my body is leeching from his. Before I even know what I'm doing, I catch myself closing my eyes and inhaling his scent deeply. It's not until I open my eyes back up that I realize that Sammy has been staring back down at me oddly. We've stopped just inside my room now and I start panicking, wondering how long we'd been standing still and what my brother is now thinking. How much has he seen?! Does he know where my mind just went or that I was smelling him?

WTF is wrong with me?!? I think. Get a grip Jossie! I tell myself. In my nervousness, I gulp a deep breath of air and clear my throat. "You can put me down now..." I sputter.

As if finally clueing into the weird vibes, Sammy drops my legs gently to the floor. "Alright Jossie, I'm gonna run down and grab your towel and phone. You really should get changed. I'll be right back in a minute." Sammy says, trying to fill the silence.

"K." I squeak out as I watch him exit the room.

I don't want to move. I am too wound up like a bungee cord that might snap, but after finally starting to take stock of myself, I shiver and suppose he is right. The last thing I want is to be sitting around miserable for a week from catching a cold. I stumble from my former statuesque like stance and make my way to the dresser, pulling out a pair of white panties from the top drawer and then a white nightie dress from the third drawer. I place my nightie on the edge of my bed as I walk to the mirror. I reach it as one immediate thought enters my mind. Hot shower. Ooh yes! That sounds heavenly! Just then, I hear a knock at the door and know tha it's Sammy. I tell him to come in.

"Here's your phone and sunglasses. I threw your towel in the hamper. You need anything else?" he asks.

I look back at him through the bedroom mirror with my white panties mid air. He looks red faced and nervous.

"Thanks Sammy, no. I'm actually going to go take a hot shower though so I'll see you in a bit. Maybe we can watch a movie or something before bed." I say smiling genuinely at my big brother. I really do adore him! I don't understand what is happening to make this all so weird but I want to break the tension and steer us back on track.

He looks somewhat easier, as though he's released a long held breath from his body. His shoulders even seem to visibly relax. "Sounds good! Matty probably wont be home in time though. He had to meet James and Mark for band practice. See you in a bit sis!"

"Oh, ok." I say, remembering Matty and his band "Set in Stone" have practice again this week before their big performance at Alva in three weeks. They really are awesome. I can't really choose any one band that they would line up with. They are sort of a mix between BMTH, Breaking Benjamin and Sleeping With Sirens, but impossible for me to really describe.

Matty is the lead vocalist and sometimes plays the guitar too. He's a jack of all trades really and not just in regard to his band. He's got jet black hair and icy grey eyes. God help you if you look too deeply into them as you really could drown. He's got a strong jaw with dimples that could melt an iceberg. He's tall and thin but very cut. He's got that typical swoon worthy rocker style but underneath all of those layers you'll find the heart of a teddy bear. Only a few people really know that about him. Just those close to him really. He shows it to me though and tries to hide it usually. His act has never fooled me of course as I know him too well.

If he isn't at band practice or playing a gig, you can usually find him at home or with Sammy. They like to work on cars or check out new bands and go to concerts. Sometimes I tag along too. Anytime I want to join in, they never seem bothered by it. I guess I'm really blessed when it comes to my brothers. I've never really felt like I was their annoying little sister. More like one of the guys growing up. I guess you could expect us to be really close since our parents died a few years back when their company plane crashed during a business trip in Canada. Matty stepped up and took custody of Sammy and I, and with what our parents left us, we were able to live comfortably.

Sammy is only 11 months younger than Matty at 20. I just turned 18 three months ago and was fixing to graduate this year. We learned to take care of each other and between the three of us, our day to day lives are pretty smoothly run. I take care of most of the housework and cooking. Sammy takes care of the outside house work, like the yard and pool. Matty earns a fairly steady paycheck playing with his band so he gets away with mostly just helping take care of the vehicle maintenance and often though will still Sammy with some of the yard work. We are a well oiled machine. We have to be. It is just us against the world now.

Life is just life. It wasn't however really until this last year or so that I started to celebrate my femininity. I had been so wrapped up in learning how to step into the woman's role in the house. There was the cooking, cleaning, laundry and shopping to do. There are no off days when you are responsible for running a home and during that initial time after losing Mom and Dad, I was grateful for the distraction that all of the responsibilities afforded me. I had my two men to take care of after all and it was my top priority. I want them to be happy and feel responsible to meet their every need. During the end of my junior year though, I began to realize that I had stopped taking care of myself. I had become complacent in all things comfortable. I had never really dabbled in makeup extensively nor did I have time for it. Once I had gotten through the grief of losing our parents and once I finally learned to juggle my household responsibilities, I was able to start taking stock of my personal upkeep. I began wearing makeup - not too much though as I preferred a more natural look, and I started playing with my hair. I loved braids and loose beach waves. They are my go to look. I started altering my fashion sense as well. I don't dress scantily, but I admit to loving my mini skirts, short shorts, lower cut tops and sun dresses. I started to feel like a new person. Taking care of myself and getting to express myself outwardly felt freeing. I was finally able to look in the mirror and feel good about myself. It has allowed me to be someone other than just the girl who lost her parents and was trying to hold it together. Now I am finally just 'me!'

Matty and Sammy seemingly took notice of the changes in me because they started becoming much more protective than usual. I noticed them watching me when I wasn't looking at them. I guess they were just worried about me and I learned to ignore their gaze. Or rather, now I've just gotten used to it. I've heard rumors that Sammy warned the male population in school away from me. I don't really believe it though. I'm just a plain girl that most people don't pay any attention too. I'm too intellectual and introverted in my opinion. I know I'm pretty, but just in a plain, average way.

Its funny really, I used to wish I was one of those girls that could stop men in their tracks and make them trip over themselves, but I soon realized how ridiculously shallow that was and more so, who would want a guy so focused on just looks anyways? Honestly! I can't imagine he would have much depth to him.

Closing the bathroom door and turning on the shower, I peel the wet bikini off of my body and quickly step in under the hot spray of water. The spray works against my muscles and relieves the strain that my afternoon swim has placed on them.

Oh my, how good that feels after being chilled for so long. I rotate around, allowing my body temperature to become one with the water before grabbing my shampoo and squeezing a dollop into my palm. Placing it back on the shelf I begin to massage it into my scalp. Rinsing and repeating with the conditioner. I take my time and grab my body wash and loofah. I make nice work of cleansing my body of the days grime. I wash my face and then grab my razor. I lather my legs and work up and down until they are smooth. Rinsing off and getting ready to get out, I have the thought to shave south of the equator. It could wait a day or two but for some reason I have an impossible need to do it now. With razor and cream back in hand, I take the extra minutes to do a good job.