My dad Logan, his girlfriend of ten years, her three kids and my half-brother, who was almost two, lived in a small town in the South. Even though he said that he had feelings for Rebecca and supported her and her kids, he never would commit to marriage because he said his heart always belonged to my mother and me.
My mother passed away when I was twelve. It was very hard on my dad and myself, but I was strong and helped hold him together, growing very close to him. A bond that would never be broken and grow deeper as I grew up. Rebecca and I never saw eye to eye, mainly because of the love daddy held for me. He was always inclined to tell me so every time he saw me.
I was 24 now, and had lived away from home since I was 18. It broke daddy's heart when I left, but I always apologized for leaving him. Still, he knew it was because of Rebecca that I had moved away. I returned home now and again, making sure he was ok. I just didn't trust her, or maybe I was just jealous of her because she had daddy.
I always had a place to stay when I returned, he made sure of that. Daddy had kept my room the same since I had moved out. He said it was always mine, that would never change and it gave us a place to sit up late into the night to talk about life and how things were when I visited. Of course this pissed Rebecca off because she wanted to use it for something else, but he would never let her.
I decide that I would do something special for his 45 birthday. However, what happened the night of his birthday was way beyond what I had planned, but it sealed our love and bond with each other, and changed everything forever.
I had been back a few days and things were as stressful in the house as always, and Rebecca was on her same old bitch-fest. Her kids were all teenagers now, with the exception of my little brother, who was toddling around.
He took up with me instantly and I didn't mind a bit. Anthony looked like my dad and even called me momma a few times. I could see the astonished look on Rebecca's face when he did, and it pleased me even more.
Even though the days went by quickly, the tension of the house grew with my presence. It seemed that I was attending to Anthony more and more each day, which, I really didn't mind because it kept me busy when there wasn't anything else for me to do while daddy was at work. After all, I had come to spend time with him.
Of course, Rebecca did nothing but complain about her life, her job, how she hated living there, and wanted to move away. The only thing holding her there was the baby.
I scoffed, telling her that she could pack up and go anytime she liked and just leave Anthony behind. Daddy took care of me after my mom had passed, he was more than capable of taking care of Anthony by himself, and I might even move back home where I could help.
This sent her over the edge and we fought about everything that had been building between us since she first came into my life. When all was said and done, I still held Anthony in my arms and she stomped away like a spoiled child. I just smiled.
I took daddy to dinner on the night of his birthday, and we took Tony along with us, just because I thought it would be good for the three of us to spend time together.
Rebecca was angry because they were not invited and I told her directly that this was a family thing, and I never considered her my family, and sure didn't think of her as my mother!
Daddy never said a word, just packed Tony's diaper bag and carried him to my car. I smiled, thinking about the bond daddy and I had, and the one I was creating with my little brother.
It was better than it ever could be, but my intentions were deeper, and I knew that in my heart, I would have the man all to myself soon, even if it was against all the laws of nature and court.
Dinner was quiet. Tony was good, he didn't make a mess or scream and yell like some of the other children in the restaurant. Daddy was pleased with his actions and I smiled because it felt good to be with the both of them.
I wanted something more, but knew that it was wrong of me to think that way. Yet, there was something there between us that I had not felt before, and a growing twinge creeping in my body for my father.
Daddy also seemed to be different in his actions and emotional state towards me. I blushed thinking about the possibilities. He had always been there for me, yet the love and the passion I held for him was so much more at that moment that what a daughter should feel for her father. It was scary. I knew I had always felt that way about him, still, I never admitted it openly.
After dinner we gathered up Tony, carried him to the car, and put him in his car seat, then daddy helped me into the car and went to the driver's side, letting himself in. He took my hand, thanked me for dinner, and said it was such a pleasure to be in my company. I smiled and blushed at his words. He kissed my hand and started the car, heading back to his house.
"Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"I'm taking a new job in Colorado."
He looked overwhelmed, "No, Bella, you can't. I mean..."
"Dad, it's not like I thought about this lightly. I wanted to tell you in person." My voice was low; I was almost ashamed to tell him I was leaving.
I could see the tears in his eyes, "Bella, it's bad enough that you live as far away as you do now, but..." He pulled the car to a halt in a small parking lot next to the park we always played in when I was younger, "I need you close to me. I mean, how do you expect me to deal with you being so far away?"
"Come on dad, you have Becca and the other kids. Besides, I'll come home a few times a year instead of every month." That was something I shouldn't have said.
"No, Anabella, you can't leave me again."
"Daddy, you never call me Anabella." that was my mothers name for me, one he only called me that when he was beyond serious. I looked at him, his heart was breaking, "Dad, I'm just moving away, not like I'm leaving forever."
He turned off the car and got out, walking to the front and propping against the hood. I rolled down the window so I could hear Tony if he woke and got out myself, walking to face dad. He stood with his arms crossed, looking out into the distance at nothing in particular.
I reached for his hands and he withdrew even more from me, so I propped myself against the car, pushing up against his side.
"Come on dad, I'm just going to..."
"Don't, please, don't say anything else." he put his arm around me and I snuggled into him, just like I had when I was younger. He cleared his throat and squeezed me tighter to him.
"Look, you do what you need to do. I just, I love you and I want what's best for you, but, I don't want to loose you. I've already lost you once and..."
"You've never lost me. I just couldn't love you the way I do and compete with her for your affections. That was why I left, Daddy." I looked at him, hoping he would find the real truth behind my words. I knew exactly what I wanted to tell him, and what I wanted from him.
"Bella, I love you. I don't want to let you go any further than I have to."
"I'm right here daddy, nothing will ever change that." I put my hand to his chest and over his heart, he clasped his over mine and swung over in front of me.
"Yes, you are, and you always have been." his voice was soft and full of love. He brushed my hair from my face and looked deeply at me, "Anabella, I love you."
My heart jumped, skipping uncountable beats. I saw his emotions and the truth of his words. He no longer just loved me as his daughter, but as a woman.
I had loved him for years as the man he was, ever since I could remember. I couldn't live in the house any longer and see her take his love from me. It was bad enough that I had to deal with it since I was fourteen, see her take the place over when it had been just the two of us, and then deal with being a teenager all in the same stride.
