"Ricky come quickly, I'm about to drop Grandma's crystal bowl."
"Shit, hang on ma I have to put some clothes on I'm just out of the shower."
This wasn't strictly correct as I'd been out of the shower for some time, time I'd spent lying on my bed fantasising about a pair of breasts that lived four doors up the street.
So what, I'm 20, what else do you need to know.
I grabbed my slacks from where I'd dropped them last night and pulled them on as I ran to the kitchen, it wasn't until I was half way there that I realised my belt was missing. I'd taken that off first when I came home.
Too late to worry about it now the important thing was that Mum didn't drop the crystal bowl. It'd been her mum's and was the biggest crystal bowl you have ever seen, of course being very big it was also very heavy, too heavy for Mum to lift really. But she insisted on moving it from one place to another on a regular basis for no valid reason other than she wanted it moved to another spot.
I ran in holding up my slacks and took the bowl from her, "where are you moving it to?" I asked.
"Back into the corner."
I was about to make a smart arsed comment about it being better in one place permanently, when I felt my slacks now without any means of staying up, start to slide down.
"Mum my pants..." was as far as I got before they slid down into a pool around my ankles.
"Mum please pull them up for me". It was a plaintiff wail which was all I could manage, standing there naked in front of my mother for the first time in many years.
Mum, being a smart arse wasn't going to let me off as easily as that, Dad and my two sisters were all out so there was no one going to come in and see me, and she knew that.
"Very impressive", she smiled at me, "you take after your Dad and his Dad as well, very impressive indeed."
"Ma please pull my pants up, with them around my ankles I can't walk anywhere to put the bowl down."
"All right, I suppose I don't want you to drop the bowl so I have to help you."
"Anyway how do you know Grandpa has a big dick"? I asked.
"He was a bit sneaky when I first met him and liked to show it off, always by accident of course, but after the third 'accident,' I just enjoyed looking as it was probably even more impressive than yours."
By now she was kneeling in front of me with the waist of my slacks in her hands, but instead of pulling them up she looked up at me with an impish grin and said "I'm sorry but I have to do this, it's been about 19 years since the last time." With that she moved her head forward and planted a very light kiss about an inch away from the base of my shaft.
If I was impressive before, I was even more so now.
"Ma, for fuck sake what are you doing, and what do you mean 19 years since the last time?"
If you saw this in a movie you just wouldn't believe it, but here I was naked, with an erection and my mother on her knees in front of me, kissing me an inch away from my dick.
She said, "You'll probably find that most mothers have kissed that area of their sons when changing their nappies at some stage. Many will deny it but most of us have done it. As a matter of fact my sister has also kissed your there on one occasion as well."
"Cheryl has kissed my dick?"