First She Showed Me

Both our parents were orphans. When they were killed in a car crash, it was up to Marisol, my older sister, to raise me. We had no other family.

Thinking back to when they were alive always reminded me of how lucky I was to have had them in my life. I don't think anyone ever had parents that offered their children more love and encouragement than our mother and father had offered us.

Their gentle hand helped guide us. They would work with us for hours until we got right whatever task we had attempted, and the way they encouraged us to master any project we took on, was kind and reassuring, even when we failed.

I missed them more than I could ever let on.

As my sister was a couple of years older than me, I think she buried her own grief to help me deal with our loss. Because I missed my parents so, I was always grateful when I heard my sister come home at night. I couldn't stand the thought of losing her too.

I called her Solly, and she did everything she could to help me adjust. But as I was approaching my first semester of college, it was obvious that I was still painfully shy and almost totally withdrawn from social contact.

The insurance settlement from the accident that caused our parents death was enough to pay off the mortgage on our house and to provide basic necessities, with enough left over for our college education. But, if we wanted extras, we had to work for them.

Solly was a model. Though everyone (including me) thought she was beautiful enough to make it in New York or Milan, she chose to stay close to home. I'm sure it was because of me and I loved her more because of her choice. But I also felt guilty as I was cramping her style and keeping her from enjoying life on the international scene, where she surely would have wound up if she didn't have to watch over me.

Though Solly made really good money as a model, I made even more managing back up data base storage sites for local area medical practices. When I turned 18, I had over $200,000.00 in the bank, all of which I had earned. I was a true geek.

It was my shyness that allowed me to wander the pathways of data base software and feel as comfortable interacting with program languages and various database configurations as someone who lived in the world of bricks and mortar would feel as they went about their daily routines. But all my friends were made of bits and bytes.

I lived in the fantasy world of computer simulations and almost never saw the light of day. But, in the virtual world, I was in charge and decided who lived and died.

Mourning Has Broken

One morning, just after my high school graduation, my sister came to me with a problem. She said she needed my help.

"Louis. I'm going to be modeling for a new client soon. I need you to help me get ready," she informed me.

Though I thought it odd she needed my help getting ready for a modeling gig, I nodded. "What can I do?" I asked.

She smiled and continued. "I'm going to be a sculptor's model for her statue celebrating National Nude Day."

"You're going to take off your clothes." I gasped.

"Yes. I've done it before."

"You have?"

"Yes." Her face lit up. "Don't look so shocked. I model for the life drawing classes on campus. People like to look at the unadorned human form."

"I know. But you're my sister. Do I have to see the statue?"

"Oh my," she sighed. "This is going to be more challenging than I thought."

"Why?"

"You're going to have to look at the statue's model."

"You mean you?"

"Yes. I mean me."

"Naked?"

"Yes."

I thought for a minute but could not find any rational thing to say.

"I've never seen a naked girl before."

"Yes you have."

"No I haven't," I stated emphatically.

"What about the naked girls you chat with on the internet?"

I turned as red as a beet.

"I don't..." I started to lie.

"Louis, I know you use sex chat rooms. It's okay."

"It's embarrassing."

"Why?"

"You're my sister."

"And?"

"Well," I thought for a moment, "it seems weird, knowing that you know I do that kind of thing."

"What? You think you're the only one who looks at naked people?"

"Maybe not. But how many look at their sister naked?"

"Well, deal with it dear brother. I really do need your help."

"Are you sure you're not just doing this to embarrass me?"

"Louis. You're my only living relative. I love you as much as, I don't know, as much as I love anything." She thought for a minute. "I would never do anything to embarrass you. You're a man now. You need to act like a man and not a little boy sneaking peeks at dirty pictures."

I was chastised but oddly, I did not feel humiliated.

"Okay. But Solly, I'm not comfortable with this. I'll do it, but for god's sake, I don't know why you can't get one of your boyfriends or girlfriends to do it."

"I don't want my boyfriends to see me naked."

"Oh right. You have sex with them, but you don't want them to see you naked?"

"Who says I have sex with them?"

"Uh...I just thought, I don't know, you know, you're almost 21 years old. You mean you've never had sex before?"

"I didn't say that."

"Huh."

"I didn't say I've never had sex before."

"Well now I'm confused. First you tell me you've never let your boyfriends see you naked, and then you hint that you've never had sex with them, and then you tell me, maybe not in these words specifically, that you've had sex. Solly, just what's the deal with you and sex?"

My sister's grin got so big I thought she was going to split her face in half.

"I said I've not had sex with my boyfriends."

"Oh. Then I guess you've had sex with your teacher?"

"I didn't say that either."

"Oh, damnit! Can't you just tell me what's what? You seem to know all about my sex life."

"Or lack of it."

"Right," I agreed. "Or lack of it."

"Louis. Have you ever seen two women make love?"

"OH MY GOD! You're a lesbian."

"I didn't say that either. I asked you if you've ever seen two women make love."

"You mean... you've been with a woman?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of? What does that mean?"

"Ronnie, my make-up girl on most shoots, is, well shall I say, not shy about expressing her admiration for the female form."

"What does that mean?"

Solly thought for a minute, as she often did when searching for the correct way to present her "case" as it were, then continued.

"Well, she's into massage and sometimes, during a long shoot, she'll give me a massage, a really good massage."

"What's a really good massage?"

"Oh come on now brother, do I have to spell it out for you?"

"You mean the kind with a happy ending?"

"Right the first time."

"Wow. My sister get's off with another girl, who'd a...

"Now hold on buster. Don't be making it into something salacious. It happens to be quite beautiful."

"I'll bet."

"Louis!"

"I'm just sayin'."

"Don't make me sorry I told you. And for god's sake, don't go telling any one."

"Yeah, like I have a host of friends just waiting for information on your sex life."

"You do?"

"Solly, when was the last time you saw me hang with anybody?"

"Oh. Right. Louis, we've got to get you out of your room and into the world of flesh and blood. It's not scary. In fact, it can be exhilarating if you let it."

"I don't want to do that. I'm perfectly fine in my room."

"No you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No you're not. Louis, listen to me. I'm not going to insult you but I think you're afraid to experience life outside of the virtual worlds you know so well."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, if you balance it with equal doses of reality."

"I'll just be disappointed."

"Maybe. But that's the chance humans take when they wake up and get out of bed everyday of their lives."

"I don't want to be disappointed again."

"You mean, like you were when mom and dad were killed?"

"Exactly."

Solly raised her head and looked at me for a minute. I could see she was trying to find the right thing to say.

"There are no guarantees."

"I know that, in a rational way. But Solly, you have no idea how much I still hurt. At least with my virtual world, no one can disappoint me."

"You know what Louis?"

"I know. I'm pathetic."

"I wasn't going to say that. In fact, I think you're special, and not just because you're my brother."

"You're just saying that to get me out of my funk."

"No I'm not. You know me well enough by now to know I tell the truth when I talk about personal matters."

"Yes you do. That's one thing I know for sure."

"So, Louis, here's the deal. I do need help finding poses for the gig. I have no idea what I look like..."

"Yeah right. You've looked at yourself in photographs ten thousand times."

"I mean undressed."

"Oh yeah, right. I forgot, I have to look at my sister naked."

"Oh come on now Louis. I can't be that bad to look at."

"Are you kidding? That's the problem. You're gorgeous. What if I, uhm, you know...

"Get a boner?"

"SOLLY!"

"What? You think I've never seen an erect penis before?"

"I thought you didn't have sex with guys?"

"I don't and I haven't. But do you think you're the only one that uses the internet to well, you know, to look at naked people?"

"You mean you surf porn?"

"Of course silly. A girl's got needs just like a guy does."

"I guess. It's just that I never really thought about it before. It's kind of the most taboo thing I can think of."

"What's taboo?"

"Thinking about sex stuff and you in the same thought line. It just seems, I don't know, not right."

"I know what you mean."

"You mean you've thought about me."

"Not thought about you so much as worried about you. Of course I know you jack-off. You're a guy. But I too would never think about it. But, and this is going to be an odd thing to say, but I feel I have to be honest about it," she hesitated.

"Go on," I encouraged.

"Well, when I first agreed to pose, my very first thought was that I would have to tell you about it. I tried to figure out a way to deal with it. But, in all seriousness, the more I thought about it, the more I kind of liked the idea of having you be the first one to see me totally naked."

"You mean, I'll see your boobs and like I'll see your, you know, see you down there?"

"You mean, my pussy?"

"Yes."

"That's right. I want you to see it."

"Why?"

"Because, I worry about you."

"Now I'm confused."

"Me too."

We were both quiet for a few minutes. I think we were both feeling as if we'd crossed into a foreign land and neither of us spoke the language. Finally I sighed and asked, "When do you want to do this?"

"In about an hour."

"An hour? That soon?"

"Louis, I'm posing in 3 days and I want to be ready. Apparently this commission is very important to the artist. She's not only paying well, she's being honoured by the city at a ceremony."

"Will you have to go to the ceremony?"

"Not on your life. That would be like showing off."

"Solly. You're a model for Christ sakes. You show off every time someone takes your picture."

"No I don't. That's posing."

"There's a difference?"

"I think there's a difference, a big difference."

"Okay. But I still think you have to be a bit narcissistic to do the kind of work you do."

"Well, I see it as work. My face and my body are the tools of my trade." She paused and again, I knew she was thinking of the right thing to say.

"Go on."

"I, no make that we, were blessed genetically."

"What do you mean we," I interrupted.

Louis, if you haven't looked at yourself in a few years, you've grown to be quite the handsome young man."

"Yeah. Right," I sniggered.

"Don't put yourself down. Louis, you really are quite handsome, though I will admit, you don't exactly dress or cut your hair to show off your features."

"You're my sister. You're supposed to say those things."

"No I'm not. I only say what I mean. Anyway," she paused, "anyway, we need to get started. We can discuss your level of attractiveness later."

"Solly, are you sure you want me to see you naked."

"From every angle."

"Every angle?"

"And from near and far away."

"Why?"

"Because, I want to know what I'll, I mean the statue will look like to people approaching it from different paths in the park."

"Oh. That makes sense. Okay. Where are we going to do this grueling work?"

"Very funny. I thought we'd start in the backyard. The Hansen's are gone for the week, so no one can see into our yard. Do you think that's okay?"

"Yeah. I don't see why not."

"Okay then. I'll meet you out back in an hour."

I went upstairs to think. I couldn't believe I was about to see my sister naked. I also couldn't believe she'd never had sex before. So much was going through my mind, the hour flew by. Then it was time to see my sister in all her glory. Wow. Lucky me.

The Garden of Earthly Delights

When our parents were alive, they turned our backyard into the most wonderful garden. They planted banana and avocado trees so we could have fresh fruits year round as well as for shade, and along the fence dividing our property from our neighbors they planted tomatoes and other vegetables.

We had a small gazebo in one corner, a hot-tub, a lanai and a barbecue pit along the back wall of the house and in the middle of our yard the piece-de-resistance; a beautiful, tiered stone fountain which rose up three levels and acted as a pedestal if anyone wanted to stand on top of the third level. That's where I found my sister, standing on top of the third level, wrapped only in a white linen sheet.

She smiled down at me.

"Wow Solly, you look just like a Roman statue, all wrapped up in your toga."

"Pretty cool, huh? I thought I'd stand up here so you can give me pointers on various perspectives viewers might have."

"I can't believe you're actually going to take off your clothes with me looking."

"I'm not going to take off my clothes with you looking."

"Oh, I thought..."

Just then she removed the sheet with a flourish and stood before me completely naked.

"I'm already naked."

Though I was at a complete loss for words I was not at a loss for thoughts. This was the most beautiful vision I had ever imagined. My sister, naked, was like a statue of one of the goddesses from antiquity.

She turned round and looked back over her shoulder. I nearly fainted.

Her butt was so perfect, I thought she was one of those statues come to life.

"Say something."

I felt dizzy. Nothing in my on-line porn experience could have prepared me for such a heavenly visage.

"Louis. Please. Say something."

Her shoulders were so perfectly formed, a mixture of both strength and femininity, and not the least bit stooped, just... perfect.

"Louis. Earth to Louis."

"Huh?"

"Louis, please say something. You're making me nervous."

"Oh. Sorry. I'll be right back."

I turned to run into the house.

"Louis wait..."

I didn't. I ran straight to her room, grabbed what I wanted and ran right back outside just as she was stepping down from the top of the fountain.

"WAIT" I hollered.

She froze. "What?"

"Solly, I've got to take some pictures of you. Please get back up there."

"Louis. I'm not going to let you take pictures of me. What if you lose your camera or someone hacks your computer?"

"I'm going to use your camera and I'll never have the pictures."

"What?"

"Solly, you've got to see how beautiful you are. I can't put it in words. Trust me. You'll be glad you have these pictures. It's your camera. I'll never have them."

"Oh. Okay. You really think I'm beautiful?"

"Just pose. You'll see."

For the next two hours, I posed Solly in every conceivable pose I could think of. I got my laptop, opened elzr/imagery and requested images of statues from all cultures and used the various ideas to pose my sister.

When she started to get light headed from too much sun, we called the session. She wrapped herself in the sheet, splashed some water on her face and followed me inside.

We set up her laptop in the kitchen and I loaded the images for her to see.

As I clicked through the various poses, she stood next to me and said absolutely nothing. Nothing.

Here I was showing my sister how beautiful she was and she didn't seem to respond one way or another.

"Solly. Are you okay?"

She grunted.

I quickly started separating the images into categories and then, within each category, I started ranking the ones I thought best represented her beauty. There were very few discards.

"Why are you separating them?"

Finally.

"I'm letting you see the various ways the statue could end up looking."

"Oh."

"Oh. Is that all you can say? I'm showing you photographs of the most beautiful woman in the world and all you can say is, OH? Solly, what's wrong with you? You were the one who wanted to do this."

She was quiet for a minute. All he did was bite her lower lip and stare at me.

"Solly."

Still nothing.

"Solly," I repeated.

"I'm sorry Louis. I didn't think it would be like this. I thought it would be fun. You know, me being naked and all. But you seem to take it much more seriously then I thought you would. You certainly didn't hesitate to take control."

"Solly. Solly. What did you think I would be like? I've just seen a naked girl in the flesh for the first time in my life. And, to top it off, I've seen the most beautiful girl on this planet from every possible angle."

"I know. It's just, well, I don't know, it's just that I didn't imagine you'd react this way."

"What way?"

"You know. Calling me beautiful and all."

"You are beautiful."

"That's not what I mean."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure. I'm just surprised out how taken by the whole thing you seem to be and how you reacted."

I realized my sister was confused. But I wasn't. I had just been granted the privilege of being the only guest at an unveiling of a true work of art. I knew good fortune when it came my way.

"Do you really think I'm beautiful?"

I put my arm around my sister. I couldn't believe how fragile she seemed. She was the one who was always there for me. She was the one who faced the outside world. She was the one who went out and enjoyed life. And here she was, unsure of herself.

"I do. I think you're the most beautiful vision I've ever imagined. Everything about you is exquisite. I can't say more."

"Thank you."

She was quiet for a moment. I held her until she looked up at me.

"I'm going to go to my room now and take a nap. Will you make some lunch and wake me in an hour?"

"Sure thing."

As she started to walk away. I pulled her back to me and kissed her on the forehead. She rested her head on my chest for a minute, then pushed me back a step and turned to leave.

"Solly. Take your computer."

"It's okay Louis. If you want to look some more it's okay."

She turned and left the room.

The Anatomy of a Woman

I stood still for a moment letting the events of the past few hours sink in. Unlike my sister, I wasn't confused. For the first time in the past few years, I knew exactly what I was going to do.

For the next hour I studied the photographs memorizing details I never paid attention to, nor ever thought I'd pay attention to in all the times I'd seen naked girls in sex-chat rooms.

This was different.

I'd photographed my sister's breasts from every angle I could conceive of. I'd stood close and I'd stood at a distance placing her breast in the optimum part of the frame.

I now knew her nipples when they were retracted and I knew them when they were distended.

I knew the contours of her stomach from the front and from each side.

I could draw her shoulders from memory.

Her neck, her chin, the beautifully chiseled cheekbones that acted as shelves for her beautiful eyes, her nose and forehead all had been seared into my memory both from the up close in person and from reviewing the photographs.