I'd always been quiet, always wary of people, not at all trusting of anyone. It was just my nature, I found it very hard to open up to anyone. I loved my mum Marie, but at the same time hated how loud she could be, and how attention-seeking she seemed to be. Hated, or just jealous? Sometimes I wished I could be a little like her, to be able to approach people and get into proper conversations without mumbling like an idiot Maybe, just maybe, then I wouldn't still be a virgin.
It wasn't through want of trying, or at least wanting to. The only person I've managed to have a resemblance of a conversation about sex with was John. Even then it was via text message. He was a lot like me, quiet and kept his head down, always shying away from anyone loud, his taking my phone one day and adding my number so he could message me was one of the most daring things he'd probably ever done. I'd known him through school and then college and we'd barely spoken in all that time.
The video I sent him was tame by anyone else's standards, me pretending a marker pen was a cock and simulating it cumming on my face had been such a thrill, and John had liked it too. He, like me being eighteen and still a virgin too probably helped. I'd actually filmed it quite a few months ago, the beginning of my alter ego coming out.
Playing video games was like that, I got myself into the character I was playing, creating a backstory, and while I played I wasn't boring plain jane Beth, I was a superhero, the main character who everyone noticed. This evolved in a different direction when Jodie and Ellen, my only two friends, had shown me a porn video one day. I was shocked, they were both good quiet girls like me and although I knew both had lost their virginities, I hadn't expected it. I found myself quite turned on, noted the site it was on, and remembered it for when I got home.
I watched several videos that night and found myself imagining being the girl in them. Despite being a virgin I'm not a prude, and masturbate quite a lot. I hate myself for this, but since my mum Marie moved us in with Danny her screaming while having sex was intolerable at first, but then I found myself imagining it was me instead of her. That image in my head was the first time I'd squirted, seeing Danny at breakfast the next morning was the reddest my face had ever been as I blushed upon seeing him.
I always preferred videos where the girl got a facial at the end. If there was more than one load the better. I saved a few to a folder on my phone, my favourite was with a girl who looked a lot like me, a skinny short brunette with a decent ass and tits that barely moved. Each time I watched that video my orgasms were strong, squirting each time. It was also how I'd started enacting my own videos.
There had been an ad on screen after watching it, and although I'm careful not to click on things like that, it enticed me in on the back of a good orgasm. I clicked on the site and it said they had a sale on dildos. There were drop-down boxes for different sorts, and 'realistic' caught my eye.
I gasped as the page loaded. They certainly were real looking, well at least on the videos I watched anyway. I'd never actually seen one in real life yet. I changed another drop-down box to 'price low to high' and waited for the page to reload. I scrolled down, looking at each one, but kept getting drawn back to the top. Most of the dildos had either 10% or 20% off, and most seemed to be 6" or 7" long.
Two particular ones stood out, for all sorts of reasons. The lowest price was for a 12" dildo, 50% off meant it was the cheapest despite being much longer and much thicker than the others. Clicking on it showed they only had three pieces left in stock until it was discontinued. Two were flesh pink colour, the other was black.
I went back and clicked on the next cheapest, which had a 75% discount. This one had originally been much dearer but there was only one left. It was the same size but this one had a set of balls at the base too. When I read the description, seeing you could make the dildo cum by squeezing on the balls it would be perfect for my roleplaying, I could re-enact that video that I liked.
I took a deep breath but knew my mind was made up. Quickly I added it to my basket, and all three of the others too. I didn't even think what I'd do with all four of them, but knew if I waited and they'd sold out I'd regret it. I got a delivery day option, picked a day when I knew Mum and Danny would both be out and I'd be home all day and paid for them.
The anticipation over the next two days was excruciating. I masturbated a lot more, using a candle at one point until the delivery came. Opening the door and taking the box from the delivery driver I blushed and mumbled my thanks to him. I wondered what he'd have thought if he'd known what was in the box. I was also pleased with the plain brown box they were delivered in. I'd have died on the spot if the name of the company was written all over it.
I almost died on the spot when I opened the box. Despite knowing I was home alone I rushed to my room to make sure I wasn't caught and quickly tore off the tape sealing the package. I tipped the contents onto my bed and gasped as I saw the first dildo, boxed but much bigger than I'd imagined. Even after watching so much porn, these seemed so big, far too big for my tiny pussy. I unpacked them all, holding them in my hands and looking at them from different angles. I felt myself getting wet in anticipation, then heard the door open as Danny and Marie came home earlier than I'd been expecting, or hoping for.
I spent every available spare second over the next week trying to accommodate my new toys, and wondering why I couldn't fit them in properly. How big they were came to light by accident. Jodie had come over to do some work and asked if she could borrow one of my books. Without thinking I nodded, and Jodie opened the middle drawer where my books were kept. She took them all out and cried out as she saw my new stash hidden where the books had been hiding. She shouted at me, asking me what the fuck they were for, and then started laughing.
"Have you tried them yet?" she asked inquisitively.
I nodded yes.
"All the way in?" she carried on.
"Not quite," I muttered.
