Daughter's Perspective: New Milk
The irony was that Clarissa never wanted to go on the trip. She wanted to stay home and focus on the law firm internship she had.
But when she returned from the brief South American trip, she was glad she went. Her parents were anthropology professors, so visiting the ancient temples was like heaven to them. Clarissa was thrilled to see her prudish and academic-minded parents having so much fun.
She felt refreshed returning to work after the trip. It felt like the sort of reset she needed from the busy law firm schedule. Getting back to work, she was determined to make an impression.
Clarissa was speaking to an attorney about a breach of contract claim they were looking into for a client. Most of her day-to-day activities involved doing case research and helping to draft documents.
"See what you can find on anticipatory repudiation," the lawyer said. "Particularly cases within the last 10 years involving construction. The law has sort of evolved."
She nodded. "Sure, I'll get right on it. Did you also want me to...uh...."
Freezing mid-sentence, Clarissa felt a pang in her gut. Another pang around her chest area forced her to curl her lips.
"Is... everything okay?" the lawyer asked with concern.
She forced a smile, "Oh, sorry, I'm fine."
The lawyer asked again if she was okay and she laughed it off. After getting her instructions for the day's work, she snuck off to the bathroom for much needed privacy.
Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, she gently pressed her palm into her stomach, wondering what it could have been. By then, the feeling was already gone.
Afterwards she opened her blouse to examine in her chest. Breast examinations were something she took seriously and did on a routine basis. She worried that today would be the day that she found something. She pressed two fingers around her chest, looking for any lumps.
With a press on top of her left breast, she noticed a funny feeling inside of her bra. It almost felt ticklish. She pulled at the left cup of her bra, looking at her pink nipple, and she noticed a trickle of wetness. Sweat? Possibly, but she had never burst out sweating before, much less from her breast area.
Standing underneath the white fluorescent light, she examined her nipple more closely. A drop of liquid was forming at the tip of her pink nipple.
The color was white.
And that was the moment Clarissa's life changed forever.
***
It was late in the afternoon when she arrived home. She managed to maintain her composure throughout her day in the office. Being the new girl meant working diligently without making a fuss.
Both of her parents were university professors who were forced to teach online because of the pandemic. Since this was a situation sensitive to women, she waited until dad was sitting in the living room watching tv before she could talk to mom about it.
Clarissa was barefoot in her office clothes when she pulled mom aside into her parent's bedroom. The last thing she wanted to do was touch her bra because she didn't know what she was dealing with.
"What's wrong?" mom asked. "Everything okay? How was work?"
"Work is fine. Can I ask you something weird? In our family genes and medical history, is it normal for... ummm...."
"Go ahead. You can tell me anything."
That was always the case between them. Her mother had been her confidant and one of her best friends. She had long considered herself blessed to have such a relationship with her mother.
Clarissa gulped. "Does our family have a history of producing breast milk?"
"Well, yes, of course," mom snickered. "It certainly helped you grow."
She shook her head. "No, no. I mean,
before
pregnancy. Or even before conception. I read online that it's possible."
"That's never been the case, to my knowledge. Why?"
The mood between them was tense. Clarissa had always been open with her mother about medical needs, and her mother was generous with information. Their conversations about the female body were always candid.
"I think I was..." Clarissa paused for a moment. "I think it happened to me today. I don't know. It tickled and milk came out."
"Milk? Are you sure?"
Clarissa gulped. "Mom, it was milk. I tasted it."
Her mother looked dumbfounded by the news, as anyone would be.
"And you're serious about this?"
"Completely serious."
Mom sucked in a deep breath. "Lactation generally occurs at the midpoint of pregnancy. Maybe you're pregnant and you don't know it yet. Perhaps you're producing milk early."
"I only practice safe sex with condoms and I've researched all the signs of pregnancy. What I feel is something totally different."
"What do you feel?"
Clarissa gathered her thoughts. "I felt a pang deep in my lower gut where my ovaries and uterus are. Then I felt the same thing in my chest area, around my breasts. It almost felt ticklish there. I went to the bathroom and did a breast exam, then milk came out. It's the craziest thing."
"How long has this been happening?"
"Literally just today. I think I touched a poisonous plant when we were in the jungle. Or it could have been an insect. I don't know."
There was a long pause.
"Oh my god," mom replied with wide eyes.
"What? Do you think it's a disease or infection?"
Instead of replying, mom said 'follow me,' and they brisked out of the bedroom and into the home office, where both parents kept their books and research material. Mom took a few minutes to sift through the home library.
Finally, mom was flipping through a book which appeared to be several decades old, before putting her finger on something to read.
"Oh my god," mom said again, speed reading the paragraphs. "You're going to think I'm insane."
"After the day I've had, I'm open to anything."
"Remember the fertility temple we visited?"
"How could I forget?" Clarissa replied. "You and dad were so excited."
"You touched the small statue on the shrine."
It only took a few seconds before Clarissa realized what her mother was implying. Yes, it was insane, but her parents were big believers in the supernatural. Clarissa, on the other hand, was more of a fact-based person, which is why she went into law.
"You're actually suggesting I'm possessed?" Clarissa asked with great skepticism.