When I was a younger man I made so many mistakes. I was constantly having risky, unprotected sex with women I had no intention of starting a relationship with. Lust drove my every decision back then and it left me feeling pretty hollow, all things considered.
I was at the tale end of that chapter of my life when I met my now wife. Although our first pregnancy wasn't planned, I knew she was the person I wanted to build a life and family with. I loved her very much and with some wisdom, I realized I would need to do some real work on myself if we were ever going to have a chance at starting a family. I began therapy and came to terms with the fact that I'm a sex addict. It's taken a lot of hard work and boundary setting, but I've been able to manage my addiction fairly well.
I'm now 47 and I have 2 beautiful daughters with my wife. We are still very much in love, although we haven't had sex in over a year. Really for the past 4 or 5 years it's been very infrequent, maybe 2 or 3 times a year. As an addict in recovery, this has been really tough. But I love my family and so I've created systems to redirect that energy into working out and creating art.
A month ago I received a text message from a number I didn't recognize. It was a selfie of a girl in her late teens or early 20's, long black hair and striking blue eyes. She was very pretty. While I studied her face, trying to place why she looked familiar, another message came in.
"Hello, I'm Andy. I know this is going to be a shock, but I'm your biological daughter. You dated my mom Amber Holloway about 24 years ago and got her pregnant with me.
I'm not looking for money or even for a relationship at this point. I was raised my mom and dad... stepdad? Sorry, it's still weird to say. I thought he was my biological dad until a couple weeks ago. Mom told me your name and I did some research and found you. I've been trying to decide if I should reach out or just let it be.
Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and see if you wanted to get a coffee sometime. I have so many questions. Let me know if that's something you're interested in. Thanks!"
I was in shock standing there looking at my phone. I had no recollection of anyone named Amber, but I couldn't remember the name of half of the women i was sleeping with back then. Fuck. I always knew it was possible that I had a kid out there, but after so long, I really thought I had made it out of that time of my life without consequences.
I took the day off work to process everything. Over the years, I'd become a father and grown so much. I learned to take responsibility for my actions. If Andy really was my daughter she had a right to speak with me and ask me her questions.
I replied a day later, "Hello Andy. It's nice to meet you. I'm happy to meet for coffee. I suppose we have a lot of catching up to do."
We arranged to meet the following week. I knew I should probably tell my wife, I knew she'd be supportive. But at this point I wasn't sure if Andy was really my daughter so I kept it to myself. Andy lived in the city, a couple hours from our house in the suburbs. I took the drive and met her at a local coffee shop.
I arrived early and got a table outside. About 10 minutes later, Andy came walking up from around the corner. She was a beautiful young woman, maybe 5'2". She was slim but had an athletic lower body. A soccer player perhaps. She reminded me of my daughter Liz in that way. I was already looking for physical clues to determine if she was mine.