It was with both excitement and dismay that I waited for my daughter's arrival; after three months of seeking for a job, living off her miniscule savings, she asked for help. It was crystal clear she loathed herself for asking to live with me for a while; I was her desperate last resort.
I stood outside the train station, hangover and smoking solemnly a cigarette; I looked at all the other young women that walked past me, observing their tight little asses, their long hair, their firm bodies. Suddenly, I recalled Faith, my ex-neighbor's daughter; how
alive
she made me feel, when she had me in her mouth. How
alive
I felt, when she lay atop of me, her cherry lips pressed tight on mine. Her giggle, when my uncombed beard tickled her, was the sound of life itself.
I dragged long from my cigarette and the bad memories returned too; when Jim, her father, found out about our little affair. He cracked three of my ribs with a baseball bat; and I'd bet all my money (the few bucks in my pocket, that is) he'd have just as easily bashed my head in to a bloody, unrecognizable pulp had it not been for Faith to stop him. (N.B. Who in the hell names their kid
Faith
? Though, to be fair, for a little while, that girl did make me have faith in life, so...perhaps, that middle-class wannabe had a valid point.)
"Hey, Dad," a weary, familiar voice brought me out of my somber contemplations.
"Hey, honey," I responded with a rusty voice. "How was the trip?"
"Long and tiring," she offered me a faint, sad smile; then, and mostly out of subconscious duty, kissed me fleetingly on the cheek.
I took her surprisingly light duffle bag—the only piece of luggage she carried—and led her to my car; in the meantime, I just couldn't help but notice her outfit, just like almost every guy around turning their heads for a second, longer look.
Tight daisy dukes, barely containing her wonderfully heart-shaped ass; a short leather jacket, unzipped, to reveal she was only wearing a bikini top underneath it. Her ash-blonde hair was long and curly on the edges, just like her mother's, while her hazel eyes, the only thing she inherited from me, were hidden behind her expensive-looking black shades.
"Still driving this dumpster fire, huh?" She chuckled, cruelly, when she climbed in my car.
"It's a good car," I rebuked; it wasn't. It was considered merely
decent
, when I bought it, from a used cars dealership, 23 years ago.
"If you plan on driving off a cliff, or something," she added.
"When did you start smoking, Elizabeth?" I exclaimed, aghast, when she rolled a cigarette with just one hand.
"My name's
Liz
," she said apathetically and lit the fat, joint-like cigarette. "You're the only one insisting on calling me Elizabeth."
"That's because
that'
s your name."
"Right..." she sighed theatrically. "Anyway, can you
please
call me Liz? I'm not a 60-year old grandmother baking cookies."
"Fine," I resigned, shaking my head.
Elizabeth always had a temper, and quite the rebellious attitude; ever since she reached adolescence she began dressing provocatively and, all in all, she'd do whatever the hell she wanted, blatantly ignoring my suggestions.
In hindsight, I played a big part in that; I was never too stern with her, never yelled at her, never told her with whom to go out. I was always afraid that, if I were too protective and/or stern, she'd grow up to resent me and develop a subconscious desire to punish me, effectively ruining her life. In the end, I failed to find the perfect balance between strictness and friendliness and that, combined with her mother's overall carefree attitude, had as a result for Elizabeth to become the "school slut" (at the very least, I overheard her being referred as such on several occasions, from both her schoolmates and their fathers).
"That's your place, huh?" She frowned, when she stepped into my apartment on the third floor of an old, concrete condominium.
"Not the palace you had imagined?" I asked, as I locked and barred the door.
"I wouldn't exactly call this place a
palace
," she replied coldly.
I showed her to her room—formerly my room; a small bedroom, which could barely fit a double bed and a wardrobe. I had moved myself to the tiny room next to the bathroom, hardly able to fit a foldout bed.
"Still reading Bukowski, huh?" She giggled, when she sat down on the worn out couch and picked up my copy of
Hot Water Music
.
"Yeah, why?" I threw myself on the armchair, desperately longing for a soothing, long sip of whiskey.
"Nothing," she shrugged and offered me a wide smile of mocking contempt. "I guess, I just figured you'd have outgrown him by now."
"What's so wrong with Bukowski?" I inquired.
"He just wrote, because at high school he could not get laid. He's just like that other great literary hero, Hemingway. They both hid their insecurities behind their
macho
attitude, painting themselves as these big great
manly
rebels to compensate for their shortcomings."
"I take it, then," I smirked, "you've already written your
For Whom the Bell Tolls
."
She just frowned and remained silent; her face had turned faintly crimson.
"I'm going to take a shower," she announced, her lower lip still trembling.
I poured me a tall glass of bourbon and gulped it down; I refilled it instantly and stood by the window, staring down at the crowded street. Hoodlums, pushers, addicts, petty criminals. Definitely not the best of neighborhoods and unquestionably not the kind of place I could see Elizabeth walking around alone, especially the way she dressed.
As I had another long, mind-soothing sip, I recalled the clothes she threw on the bed, when she unceremoniously unpacked her bag; nothing long enough to even brush her knees, no pants, no long dresses. Only daisy dukes, mini dresses, high heels...and while I tried to remain openminded—she was, after all, an adult—I couldn't help but worry and...recognize my failure as a father.
Most of all, however, I feared for what could happen, if she were to walk around the streets dressed in these clothes. I swilled down the bourbon, when the running water stopped.
My jaw nearly dropped, when she emerged out of the bathroom wrapped in only a towel barely covering her pussy and ass; she sat on the couch once again crossing her long, thin legs high.
Even though I desperately wanted to, I just couldn't stop staring at her; her wet hair sat heavily on her naked shoulders, her face remained youthful and beautiful...she reminded me of her mother, when we had first met, back when we still were madly in love.
And then, due to my intense staring, I noticed what I had somehow missed before; her breasts had grown immensely. I don't know how I missed that quite noticeable change earlier, especially considering her clothes did not particularly conceal her breasts, but...now, it was clear as daylight. They were practically staring back at me, while they were near to bursting out of the towel.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" She snapped, and her voice brought me out of the trance-esque state I was in.
"Nothing, I just..." I put my glass down on my desk, next to my laptop, and sat back down on the armchair, resting my head on my fists and looking at the coffee table. "Did you get breast implants?"
"What kind of a question is this?" She protested.
"I just...
noticed
...a difference," I mumbled; I don't know why I needed to know. It was
her
savings she would have wasted on the operation—or, best case scenario, her mom's new boyfriend's money.
"Well, yeah," she said after a moment of silence. "You like them?" She winked at me.
"Why did you do it?" I tried, as much as I could, to ignore the suggestive nature of her wink and voice.
"Don't know," she shrugged, her smile widening. "Just got tired of being too skinny and flat, I guess."
"That's not an answer, Elizabeth."
"It's
Liz