"My mum? When? I mean..."
Jo smiled. "Your father had a wandering eye years ago. I believe that Angie poured her heart out to Zoe about it. You may have noticed that they share everything. Well, I'm pretty sure they've shared Ray, but I don't think your dad was ever invited to that little party - or if he was, he didn't accept the invitation. My guess is your parents were exploring extra-marital opportunities long before you went to uni, but they were discreet about it. I think Angie has a thing for the guitarist in her band - and possibly the bassist, too."
My head was reeling. In my naivety, I'd assumed that my parents had split up because of different interests. I'd never really thought about their sex life, and whether it extended beyond each other.
"Angie went down to Cornwall one time when your dad was allegedly off sailing. She saw him on his boat with two other women. What they saw in him - what Angie saw in him - I'll never know. Please excuse me for saying this, but I always thought he was dull and very ordinary-looking. How he came to land someone as attractive as Angie and father a hunk like you, I'll never know. Maybe your dad isn't actually your father."
"Jo, my dad was - he was good to me." Even as I said it, I wasn't sure I meant it. "We - we had our disagreements, especially when I was a stroppy teen, but we mostly got on. Mostly. I thought he and Mum were quite well-suited."
"Sorry if you feel I've insulted him. But I've always wondered. You see, you don't seem to take after him. He's only about as tall as Angie, while you're - well, you're a lot taller. He's pretty weedy, and you're most definitely not. You're blond and he's dark. I wondered whether Angie followed in my mum's footsteps."
"Sorry?"
Jo smiled. "You know that your granddad wasn't my biological father, right? I mean, it's kind of obvious if you look at me and my sisters, but my mum told me before she died that she'd had a 'fling' with a handsome Spanish waiter when she was on holiday in Majorca, thirty years ago. She didn't use protection - she hadn't had a period in nearly a year, she said - so she wasn't worried when she still didn't have periods after she got home. Until she started throwing up in the morning. My dad realised what had happened, but he was a decent bloke and he forgave her. He was always lovely with me, and I miss him so much." She looked very sad. "But - but with Angie, I'm assuming that when the prat was away, the nice girl decided to play. Your mum did spend a lot of time with musical types, back in the day. Not quite a groupie - I mean, she was in the bands herself - but I wouldn't be surprised if someone tall, blond and handsome got the use of her rather attractive body, and then along came you. My dad used to play a lot of Pink Floyd records when I was little. I remember that one was called 'A Saucerful of Secrets.' It seemed appropriate, but I've always felt our family had a whole bucketful of them."
My head was reeling. My family seemed to be mired in more sexual secrets than I could ever have imagined, and the idea that my biological father might not have been the man I called Dad was a real shock. But then Chrissy rejoined us, talking about having seen some dabchicks and widgeon, and the conversation took a different course.
Dinner was again surreal. The ladies once again provided some glamour, in similarly revealing outfits to the night before, with Mum's and Zoe's again almost identical. But this time, Sam sat at the opposite end of the table. Everyone else seemed to be smirking. I tried to steer the conversation away from our mutual embarrassment.
"So Mum, Zoe; did you buy anything in Peterborough?"
"Oh yes. We all bought pendants with our initials. Look."
Zoe and her sisters all held up little silver pendants they were wearing, reading 'Z', 'A' and 'S'.
"Very classy," I said, a little sarcastically. They looked cheap to me.
"And we went clothes shopping - if you can call them clothes," Mum added with a smirk. Sam and Zoe giggled. "But how about you?"
"Oh, we went to Leicester and paid our respects to the late king. Where he is now looks a lot more respectful than under a car park. They've done a good job. And on the way back we stopped at Rutland Water. Jo and Chrissy are very knowledgeable about nature. I learned a lot." 'Yes', I thought, 'And not all about nature. Human nature, maybe...'
Sam seemed to be avoiding talking with me - or, indeed, anyone. I thought she must have been a little embarrassed that everyone seemed to know what she'd been up to - and also who had been up her, and where - the night before. And maybe she was pissed off with me for ignoring her pleas - which I'd guessed were fake and proved to be so - and proceeding to rape her arse, giving her a massive orgasm in the process.
But Mum, Zoe and Ray were in good spirits. After dinner and the obligatory
digestifs
, Zoe and Mum cleared away while I chatted with Ray, mostly about my sporting plans. I was due to have a trial for the national Olympic team in June; a big opportunity for me, and I was both proud and nervous.
"I'm sure you'll do well. You have the discipline and the commitment. And..." he glanced around "The physique for it, as others have noticed." He winked. "I think you wore Sam out. She was telling us about your adventures in the car on the way to Peterborough. You've got some stamina, it appears."
"Sam was telling you... What?"
"Don't sound surprised. She was quite proud of seducing you. Six times, eh? Including up the arse! Well, you had more success than me. We've had fun, but I couldn't make her come like that. She's a hard woman to please, but evidently you managed it."
"Jesus Christ! Are there no secrets in this family?"
He laughed. "Oh, there are plenty of secrets. Just some of us are shit at keeping them! And don't worry, my boy. We have our pleasures but, outside of this little group, we're pretty discreet. Unlike your dad, who seems to have wanted to broadcast his infidelities. It devastated your mum for a while. Fortunately, she and Zoe are extremely close, and my wife's pretty good and putting people back together again."
"Have you... have you really...?"
"Fucked your mum? Yes. And Sam. And, on more than one occasion, both of them and Zoe on the same night - with a little help from a couple of friends."
"What the fuck?" I breathed.
Ray grinned. "Matt, my boy, you need to realise that we're a tight-knit bunch. We share and share alike and, as a result, we stay together and we stay friends. Your dad didn't play by the rules; if he had, he might not have split from your mum, though I don't think he was Sam's or Zoe's type. There's no jealousy here. Zoe knows I've fucked her sisters - she even encouraged it - and some of my friends have fucked her, and sometimes we all did it in the same room. Have you ever taken part in an orgy, my boy?"
"Er, no."
"Well, I can recommend it. Everyone is sexually supercharged, so it's easier to get the ladies to orgasm, though it's sometimes harder to delay your own. And the novelty of fucking someone who isn't your wife, while watching your wife perform a range of sexual acts with someone else - both male and female - was, and remains, an experience not to be missed. It's fun to keep it in the family and to share it with close friends. We haven't yet tried it with strangers, but who knows?"
I was rather taken aback by his relaxed attitude to extra-marital - and potentially incestuous - sex, but then I'd fucked my aunt the night before, so I perhaps shouldn't have been.
Just then, Zoe reappeared. "I don't know about you, but I'm knackered, so I'm off to bed. See you in the morning." We all said goodnight, while Mum, Jo and Chrissy finished clearing up in the kitchen. Ray got up to join them. And then Sam sat down beside me.
"You know, I'm still sore from what you did to me last night. And not just in my arse. You were pretty fucking brutal." She looked annoyed, as she had some right to be.
"Yeah, but it hasn't stopped you from boasting about it to the rest of the family."
"Well, it was pretty spectacular," she said, and her expression changed to a wry smile. "But I won't be troubling you again tonight. I could barely walk this morning, and I've gone around today with toilet paper down the back of my knickers, waiting for my arsehole to return to normal. You were a complete sod last night."
"That's true. I completely engaged in sodomy," I replied, lowering my voice. "And you, my dear slutty Samantha, took it up your arse like a trouper and came like you were being electrocuted. So I'm assuming you're protesting too much."
