I was driving like a crazy person. Swerving around cars, all gas and all break with no in between. I wasn't drunk, but I wished I was. He is such an asshole. That thought roared through my head as if my brain was screaming on its own.
I should have known, of course. The signs were there. My friends warned me. But a girl can hope right? Not all guys are dicks first then boys second. Wrong. I knew he was friends with Mag, I just didn't expect him to fuck her. Of course he tried to deny it. They always do. But when that didn't work...he was such an asshole.
I drove through the rain with tears streaming. All I could think of was driving to Sarah's. She was my older sister, and quite wise in the ways of getting over male-pigs. I told her about Todd and she told me to come right over. My older brother (and Sarah's twin) James would be there too.
Honestly I wasn't looking forward to it. Since they both left for college, I felt like I spent too many occasions getting screwed over by high school boys and driving up to tell them about it. But they were the only ones that understood. Now after this nonsense, I felt like they were the only ones that ever would understand. I suppose, though I didn't know it, I was right.
I arrived at their place around 10 that night. I guess I will say it was the "first" night as there were (and still are) many like it to come.
They knew I was coming, but I don't think they (or I knew) how fast I was driving.
I parked the car crookedly and hopped out. I was raging and I was ready to tell them I was done with men altogether. I marched up the walkway quickly with my hands in fists. The rain poured down, but I didn't care. I just wanted to hug Sarah and have her tell me it will be fine. I just wanted to...
I opened the door and there they were: James kneeled down in front of Sarah, her blond hair tossled, her top off and her legs open and on his shoulders. His head moving methodically as he licked her pussy. Sarah's eyes were closed, but they opened when she heard the door open.
I was stupefied.
"Sarah...James..."
"Shut the door, Mary," Sarah said with more breath than voice.
I closed the door and stood, pressed against it. My older twin brother and sister were...I don't know what they were doing. I didn't say anything.
James sat up, his face had some of her juice on itβit was shiny. I could see Sarah's clean, shaved pussy. I looked away.
"Shit, Mary...you drive like a wild woman," James said.
I looked up at him in shock. Sarah had pulled a blanket over herself. Thank god. Thank fully James had all his clothes on.
"Ok you guys, what the fuck is going on?" I almost yelled. "I mean, what the fuck?!"
James stood up. His cool blue eyes looked into mine as if he was hurt, as if I said something inappropriate.
"Mary," Sarah began.
I looked at her. She was the pinnacle of every woman I wanted to be.: Independent, beautiful, brilliant, and now...fucking my brother?
"Mary, we thought you would be later," Sarah said.
"So?! That makes everything better?" I asked in a shriek.
I turned to leave.
"Wait," James said in a stronger voice.
I stopped. He rarely raised his voice. James.
I turned back around. "What...?" I began, but I had nothing but tears.
He walked toward me then stopped about three feet away. "Why don't you tell us about this Todd character, then we will tell you all about this."
I stared at him. For an instant my mind was blank. But as I looked over them both I realized that I couldn't leave. They were my siblings, no matter what was going on, I mean they were twins. Maybe twins do that or something?
"Come on," Sarah said as she stood up, the blanket wrapped around her naked body like a towel. "I'll get some wine."
I sat on the couch and took my drenched coat off. My shirt was soaked and my red bra shown through. I felt a little awkward, "Sarah, can I borrow a shirt?"
James sat on the chair next to the couch and looked away from me. He was always so sweet.
Sarah walked in holding a bottle of red wine and three glasses.
"Absolutely not!" she said playfully.
"Look," I said pointing to my shirt.
"Ha!" Sarah laughed. She sat down next to me. "Ok, as you can tell we aren't shy. Just take it off, goodness Mary I have seen you in your underwear before."
"Come on!" I said gesturing toward James.
"James, can you give us some girl time?" Sarah requested.
"Yeah yeah," James replied. He hopped up and without looking at us went up the stairs. "I will be up here watching TV." He called down as he disappeared.
"Seriously? No shirt?" I laughed.
"Just take it off, I haven't done laundry in like two weeks," Sarah laughed.
I smiled. Sarah lived at her own pace. I unbuttoned my blouse and tossed it on the floor. The house air was suddenly warmer.
"Better?" Sarah asked.
I nodded.
"Ok, now tell me about Todd," She said in her direct, wonderfully sisterly way.
I began with telling her about my former friend Mag and then into the whole thing. The story felt suddenly less interesting, but Sarah listened patiently. She knew how to say the right thing at the right time and the story ended with her commenting, "What a fucking ass!"
"I know right?" I commented. "Oh well, fuck it. I don't like guys anymore. I am going to wait till college."
"Sadly, my dear, college boys are as bad or worse. Stupidity, like any other muscle, grows stronger when encouraged."
She always said things just right. "Ok, now tell me Sarah. Um, you and James?"
Sarah smiled and her blue eyes twinkled. "We are really close."
"Haha, that's it? You guys are close?"
Sarah tilted her head and glanced upstairs, "We are family."
"I know, that is like, I don't know, illegal!"
Sarah smiled, "Look Mary. Here we are, talking about another guy doing another stupid thing, another guy that knows nothing about you and probably doesn't really care. All these guys that don't see you the way James and I do." She reached and touched the hair on my cheek.
Her touch was comforting and warm. I took a deep breath then replied, "What do you mean? How do you see me?"
Sarah kept smiling tenderly, "Mary.." She touched my cheek with her long delicate fingers. "You are smart, beautiful, fiesty and sexy."
She glanced down over my body and I became suddenly aware that I was in my bra. Of course she had seen me many times like this, but there was something in her eye that was different, more affectionate, sisterly, and I liked it.
"You think I'm sexy?" I asked meekly.
"Mary, are you joking?" She laughed and sipped her wine. "When you went through puberty it was one of the most exciting things I had ever seen. I mean, you have a great smile, really intense eyes and a great body. Trust me, you have a body have the girls here in school are starving themselves to get."
I blushed. I couldn't help it, she looked at me so intently and she was right, she knew me. Better than anyone. But what about James? This was all so wierd. "So how or when or...I mean, James and you?" I think I asked a question.
Sarah nodded her head and took another sip. "Well, about a year ago when we were deciding where to go to school, you remember that time? Stress! Mom and Dad had thier ideas on what we should do, James and I nearly went to different schools and I was dating that Jared. Well one day, I never told you this, but Jared asked if I would follow him to college. He told me he didn't like how close James and I were and he thought it would be best for me to have space from my twin brother. I was silly, I thought I loved him and I guess I thought he loved me. So I agreed."
"What?!"
"Yeah I know, right?" She moved closer to me and continued. "So I got home and ran up to James' room to tell him that I had made a decision. After I told him he just sat there, like devistated. You know James, stoic and mister alpha male. Mary, he cried. I can't explain to you what it was like, but I knew I had hurt him. It was like I had hurt myself I guess. So I hugged him and we held eachother. James told me he loved me and he supported whatever decision I made. I didn't want to let go of him. I didn't want to leave him. I knew then and there that our love was different than whatever my feelings for Jared were."
She stopped and looked up at the stairs where James had gone and scooted very close to me. I could smell her perfume. It was wonderful.