It was midnight, and Kris had such a hard time falling asleep. There was too much on her mind. She wanted to talk to Deb, but then she'd have to admit she snooped through Deb's things.
Kris and Deb's parents home schooled them for their entirety of their school experience. Debbie had chosen to go to college. Kris had chosen to try and just get a job and get by. She felt too introverted to go.
Since they were home schooled, mom and dad were able to choose the material they used for the curriculum. They had left sexual education out of the girls' subjects to study. Kris only knew because of the recent findings in her sister's things.
Her younger sister Debbie had been in the shower. She had left her bag open after doing some of her homework. Kris wanted to close it so nothing would fall out. She was curious when she got closer.
Her sister was working on anatomy. Her text book displayed the diagram of the woman very clearly. Her legs spread, her vagina showing. Kris gasped. She felt her mouth water. She felt her hands get warm. She wanted to read that book.
She had always been so curious when it came to sex. She had first seen a sex scene on TV when she was a teen. She felt funny about it. It had been at a friend's house. Mom and dad didn't let them have access to TV. Now however, Debbie had access to an actual book. She heard a noise. She slammed the book shut, and put the pencil on it like it'd been.
She got an idea as she made it back to her bed. She would go to the public library and look for books of her own on the subject. She wondered why her sister had this. Why she'd taken this class.
"Deb?" she said softly.
Kris was three years older than Debbie to the day. So they were very close. They told each other everything. Kris felt she could tell the truth.
"What." Debbie asked as she turned to face her sister.
"Um, when you were in the shower, I kind of snooped through your things. I didn't mean to. I just saw something that interested me, and looked in."
"Did you see my homework?" Debbie asked smiling. She knew Kris. She was the biggest prude ever. She couldn't even sit through sex scenes in movies. She'd fidget, and blush.
"Yes." Kris said softly. "I can't get it off my mind. I only saw one picture."
"Why do you have that?"
"It's part of my requirements to get my bachelor's." Debbie said softly. "Please, don't tell my mom. They'll freak out. I'm doing really well in school."
"Debbie?" Kris said softly after a moment of quiet. "I felt funny looking at the picture. I wanted to see it more, or see other ones. I felt strange in my stomach."
"Yeah. It's you being aroused." She said smiling. "I felt that way too, a few times. It passed for me after I masturbated."
"What?" Kris gasped nearly giving them away. Even now that they were adults, mom and dad hated if they stayed up. They would get yelled at so badly the next day.
"Well, yeah. Don't you?"
"No! I can't even open a sex book!"
"So you've never seen a porn video?"
"No! Where the heck do you go to get access to this? Mom and dad never let us out of their sight!"
"I discovered how to go incognito. I can go on the web and no one will know where I went. I'm sure it's not completely disguised. I mean, if my dad wanted to, I bet he could look. Anyway. I've been watching porn since I took my first sex ed class last year."
"Oh god! I can't listen to you." Kris gasped. "This is so weird."
They both let the conversation drop. Kris heard Deb falling asleep beside her. She sighed. She hoped she'd be able to sleep soon.
She couldn't look at things the same after. She looked at girls she passed as she ran errands. She spent a lot of time imagining the girls and what they would look like down there. She didn't really think about boys. Although, she had gone back to her sister's book and seen a picture of a boy. She didn't like it very much. She felt strange looking at the tissue between his legs. Not the same strange feeling as she felt now looking at girls.
"Deb?" Kris said one night a few weeks after they'd talked. "I still can't stop thinking about the book. Actually, I can't stop thinking about..., girls."
"Oh. That's pretty normal. Do you think you're attracted to girls?" she asked.
"No!" Kris said grinning. "That's not allowed in heaven. I don't want to screw myself up."
"I wish my parents hadn't brainwashed us and kept us from the world our whole lives. Kris, attraction is something you have no control over. It doesn't make you not go to heaven if you're attracted to the same sex, or if you have sex at all."
"I think I'll never have sex. I mean, I don't want to get married. I'm happy just being here."
"You don't have to have sex with marriage. It's okay to do that."
"Have you?" Kris asked softly.
"Yes." Debbie said making Kris gasp.
"Who?" she said softly. "Was it gross?"
"No. It felt very nice. I had sex with a lady at my psychology class. She asked me out for a few drinks. I found her pretty, and arousing. We went bac to her place."
"But I never see you out of the house. When did you do that?"
"Last year when mom and dad went to a meteor shower party."
Kris let the conversation drop. She wanted to try and get some sleep. Her mind wouldn't shut up, though.
A few weeks went by, and neither of them talked about sex. Kris was gathering up the courage to watch a pornographic video. She was going to ask Debbie. She felt as if she'd gotten closer to her after they'd talked about sex.
"Well, that's sweet, Kristy." She said as they both climbed into the car. They'd gone grocery shopping. Mom and dad had asked them to get dinner and have it ready at five.
"I promise. When I finish my homework, and we eat, we'll watch something."
"I hope this isn't making you feel awkward. I just don't want to do it alone. I'm too embarrassed." Kris said smiling as they drove off.
She was so anxious the whole evening. She tried to focus on the dinner. On the movie they watched after. It was no use. She couldn't stop thinking about tonight's plans. She fidgeted a bit. She felt waves of heat wash over her periodically. Finally it was time for bed.
They both climbed into their king sized, and put the blankets over them. They were going to wait until their parents went to sleep. Their dad always turned off the internet router before he went to bed. It was in the dining room, but there was a lot of things in the way, and they'd make noise trying to turn it on. Deb had prepared for this. She had downloaded some videos, and hid it from view.
Deb fell asleep soon after. Kris felt upset at her. She really wanted to watch the movie. She waited until she heard snoring far off. She gently nudged her sister.
