It was almost 10pm and I was sat in Elizabeth's car as she drove me home. I was feeling elated, but I was also feeling a range of other emotions that I just wasn't expecting. In fact, I was totally overloaded... none of my thoughts made any sense. I mean, I had just had the most incredible afternoon with the girl of my dreams, but that girl of my dreams was my sister! Oh my god. How could I do that? What would Mum & Dad say if they find out? What would my mates say? What will our grand parents say?
"What the fuck was I thinking? This can't happen again. It just can't!" I instructed myself whilst gently shaking my head. "What the fuck was she thinking? How did she let this happen? I mean, she is the older sibling after all, so she should have known better, right?"
I sat in silence looking out of the window as we drove passed some fields, but my inner voice would not stay quiet, "Actually, I wonder what she IS thinking."
I turned to look at her and my heart melted instantly, she has that effect on me. God she most definitely is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Her eyes were fixed firmly on the road and she looked deep in thought, or maybe she was just concentrating on her driving, but either way, she was gorgeous. Her sparkly eyes, her perfectly formed nose, her unblemished skin that I just wanted to touch, her hair soft and silky hanging all the way to her lap, reflecting the movement of the street lights as we passed by. My eyes dropped to her lips which were glistening and totally magical. My memory replayed the moment my lips first kissed them, that unbelievable moment. That heavenly moment. The moment her lips parted and our tongues touched, no danced, together. That first moment we both allowed our lips to smash together in passionate hunger.
But she is my sister. Of all the girls I could fall in love with, why has fate pushed me this way, to fall in love with my own sister? Why? She is the one girl I wasn't allowed to love in that way, well, apart from my mother of course, but that would just be repulsive. Ugh! I mean my mum is a very attractive woman, but, she's also my mum for goodness sake.
And yet here is my sister that I didn't feel any repulsion for. Quite the opposite in fact. I was 100% in love with her. I wanted her. My body yearned for her. I needed her.
I looked away feeling confused. Was Elizabeth going through a similar thought process? Probably not. She is my big sister after all and she is always so together, so smart, so intelligent... I looked at her again.... so very beautiful! "Oh my god, she is stunning!" my inner voice proclaimed as if I didn't already know.
Elizabeth turned towards me as my zig-zagged thought process continued, a smile flickering on her face, "Almost there." she said.
I jumped back to the moment, smiling back at her, "Ok." is all I could reply.
I looked back out of the window again. I wanted to talk, to tell her what I wanted to say, to ask her what I wanted to ask. But my thoughts were still not aligning. But, I had to say something.
"Elizabeth...," but before I could say anything else Elizabeth spoke.
"I know. It's ok, you don't need to say anything."
"But, I....,"
"Honestly Andrew, it's ok. Would you like to come and help me tomorrow as it's Sunday? I could come and pick you up in the morning, say 11am?"
My heart skipped and my head momentarily flooded with euphoria.
"Yea... yeah... ok. Yes, I'd like that!"
I looked towards her and she turned to look at me. We smiled at each other briefly before she turned back to the road. My heart was dancing with joy.
"Ok then," she said, "11am it is."
We drove for a few more minutes in silence and then the car slowed down as Elizabeth turned into our parents estate. Driving a further 50 yards, turning left and then immediate right into their drive, Elizabeth stopped the car leaving the engine running.
"Ok little bro, you're home."
I turned to look at her, smiling. I was beyond happy.
"Say hello to Mum and Dad for me." she said.
"Oh are you not coming in?"
"No, it's getting late, so I'll just shoot off home. See you tomorrow."
"Ok thanks Elizabeth." I wanted to lean over and kiss her, or just touch her, but that was a really stupid idea. "I'll see you at 11am tomorrow then?"
"Yes you will." she replied.
I opened the car door and got out, closing it behind me. I was back to reality.
Elizabeth drove off as I turned to wave goodbye. Ok, now I've got to get my thoughts together quickly. No messing up here. No slip ups. No stupid answers.
I walked the few steps to my parents front door and inserted my key. I opened the door and walked in.
"Hello Andrew." I heard my Dad call.
I walked into the lounge where he was sitting in his chair.
"Hi Dad."
"You're very late. That garden took some time to mow," he said laughing. "I bet she got you doing a lot of other chores for her huh?"
I smiled. "Yeah, you know what she's like!" I said rolling my eyes.
"Yes I do." he said chuckling.
"She says hello by the way, but she had to go."
"Oh ok. I guess she's fully independent now that she has her own home." he said.