My name is Aubrey, but my family just calls me Aub. I lived with my little family just north of Vegas, me, my mom, Anita, and my lovely sister Bree. I had just turned 18.
My grandfather had been a wealthy publisher and he left each of his children a very tidy sum. That meant that mom, her sister Emily, and her brother BJ wanted for nothing. They had bucks.
Don't get me wrong, after the estate was divided three ways, we weren't in a class with Warren Buffett or Bill Gates, but by almost anyone's measure, we were wealthy. I remember the day when Mom bought our big house with its circular driveway, large foyer, huge kitchen, and 5 spacious bedrooms. She just wrote a check for it like she was buying a turkey at Whole Foods!
Mom refused to indulge in household help, which she could have easily afforded. She wanted to make a home for me and Bree. She felt that was her calling in life.
Mom went through the laughable charade of being a typical MILFy suburban mom who just happened to have a hundred million dollars in the bank. Oy vey!
She dated here and there, but despite being a total fucking knockout at age 38, 5 feet and 5 inches tall and 125 very fit pounds, she was usually content with homemaking...managing the house, baking pies, worrying about my "uneven" development, and keeping Bree, a tornado of sexuality, at least somewhat in line.
I have a very clear memory of one typical sunny Nevada morning. Mom's call for me and Bree to come for breakfast echoed through the house, a melodic yet commanding tune that signaled the start of our daily ritual. Mom loved rituals. They made her feel safe.
I shuffled into the kitchen, my eyes still groggy with sleep, and took my usual seat at the huge kitchen island, which was by now bathed in the soft glow of the early morning sun.
Bree sailed in after me, 21 years old, her long, blonde hair cascading down her back like a golden waterfall. At 5 feet and 8 inches tall and 121 very curvy pounds, she looked like a goddess in her pink, oversized t-shirt that barely reached the bottom of her pretty ass, and she didn't forget to wiggle it while reaching for a piece of toast. She knew exactly how to drive me out of my skull.
Bree and I were polar opposites. I was a nerdish, socially inept, National Merit Scholar, wildly unsuccessful with girls. Bree was a gorgeous, addle-minded, large-breasted bimbo, a beauty queen, in fact, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She had many sexual partners, both male and female. And she did not seek them out. She didn't have to. They beat a path to her door.
I had had an enormous crush on Bree since before middle school. She always ignored that, accepting it as her due, and always adopted a very superior air around me and seemed to barely tolerate my existence.
Sometimes she enjoyed teasing me, and that was the closest she ever came to showing any actual affection for me. At other times, she was simply dismissive of me and my hella boring successes as a scholar, and she thought my lack of masculinity was a cause for hilarity. She had a way of always making me feel small and desperate.
"Morning, Aub," Mom said, in her very high and soft girlish voice, placing a steaming plate of eggs and bacon in front of me. Her smile was warm, but there was a glint in her eye that told me she had something up her sleeve.
"Mornin', Mom," I mumbled, my voice still thick from having been asleep.
Bree giggled, a sound that never failed to make my heart flutter. "Mom," she began, her mouth full of toast, "you know what you said to Aub yesterday about his hair?"
Mom's eyes lit up with amusement. "Oh, yes," she said, turning to me with a playful smirk. "How Aub would make a prettier girl than almost all of the ones out there."
"Yeah," I said, rolling my eyes and poking at my eggs with my fork. "Thanks for that."
"It's not just your hair," Mom continued, her voice teasing. "It's everything. Your slender frame, those delicate features--why, with a little makeup and the right outfit, you would be a little Vegas hottie!"
Bree's laughter filled the room, a sound so infectious I couldn't help but smile, despite the embarrassment coursing through me. "Imagine that," she said, "Aub strutting down the street in yoga pants and a tiny crop top!"
"You'd have all the boys--and some girls--chasing you," Mom said, winking at me.
I felt a strange mix of emotions: annoyance at their teasing, a hint of pleasure at the idea of being desired, and a deep-seated ache knowing that, as a male, I would never truly experience having the same allure that Bree had every day of her life...every fucking minute of her life.
"Yeah," Bree said, taking a sip of her coffee, her breasts rising with the motion. "You'd be so popular, Aub. You could be prom king and queen!"
Their banter washed over me, and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of resentment. It was always like this, them poking fun at me in that loving, giggling way that left me feeling both cherished and emasculated.
But I knew better than to argue with them--Mom would always side with Bree, and Bree would always side with Mom. What a pair they made! Bree was the apple of Mom's eye, and I was the awkward sidekick in our little family sitcom.
As we ate, Mom's eyes never left me. "You know, Aub," she said, a hint of seriousness in her tone, "sometimes I think you'd be happier if you had been born a girl. You're so sensitive, so smart. Not goofy like the boys your age. You'd have the world at your feet."
Bree nodded in agreement, her eyes sparkling. "You'd totally kick ass as a girl," she said, reaching over to pat my hand. "You've got the brains, the looks...everything but the right parts!"
Their laughter filled the room, a sweet, taunting melody that made me feel both included and utterly alone in my desires. And as I sat there, watching them, I couldn't help but wonder if they were right.
If only I had been born with those...parts...then maybe, just maybe, my life would have been different. Maybe then, I could have been the one to make Bree's eyes light up with something other than amusement. I knew she was bi. She had nearly as many female lovers as male ones. Maybe if I'd been a hot girl or a big strong guy instead of a useless, femmy boy, I could have been the one to make her heart race, her body tremble. The thought of that almost made me swoon.
Mom must've noticed my silence and its meaning because she leaned in, her still-hard breasts pressing against the table and said, "Don't worry, Aub. You're perfect just the way you are. Besides, if you were a girl, you'd have to deal with all that girl...stuff." She waved her hand, gesturing to her own body, and I couldn't help but think about the "stuff" she was referring to. The same stuff that made me burn with desire for her and for Bree.