To say Shelly was my ex was sort of an understatement. She was my ex ten times over. I first dated her when we were both seniors in high school. She talked on and on about how horrible her father was. I listened and then she announced that I was her boyfriend. I didn't mind because she was hot. But then everyone around me told me she was crazy. Even her family told me she was crazy. My sister told me she was crazy. I didn't listen but I sure should have. As soon as we started dating her story changed from how bad her father was to how bad I was to her. So we broke up.
She went to the same college that I did. That wasn't that unusual since I was going to the huge university right there in the city not that far from the small town we'd grown up in. Most of the kids from my high school went there if they went to college at all. My ex told me that she was sorry for before and she really needed a friend and someone to talk to.
I should have known better but I gave in and we started dating. We were both now older than 18 so we started fucking too. It turned out that Shelly really liked sex. She just could not stop and she could never get enough.
But like clockwork, her stories of her father mistreating her changed to me again and this time there was the added bonus of her cheating on me. So we broke up. Then she called campus police on me and made all kinds of claims that I'd rather not repeat.
I should have learned. But I still hadn't. I got back together with her and broke up with her something like five more times. As soon as we were together she'd want to leave. As soon as I had my arm around another girl, she was right back there. She would only be happy so long as she was with someone and I was single.
The problem for her was that no one really wanted to date her. They were happy to just tap that ass and then kick her to the curb. No one else would put up with her drama.
I was in sophomore year now. I hadn't dated Shelly since right before finals freshman year. I was out. I was all the way out.
And then I found myself in my apartment with Shelly sitting on my bed talking about how much she was going to work to make the relationship happen this time. She was swearing to me up and down that she was never going to leave me again. I looked at her and wondered if this had anything to do with the fact that I'd had a very nice date recently with a history major. At any rate, there was no way I was going to get back together with crazy ass Shelly of all people.
Then again it had been six months since I'd gotten laid.
We were starting to follow our usual pattern, at least outwardly. She was talking psychobabble and wanting to kiss me while pressing her body up next to me. I was supposed to fall for it like an idiot and take her back so she could slander me to everyone again.
This time, I made it look like I was playing along but really she would be out the door as soon as I was finished. I had a duper's smile as I put her on the bed and got her clothes off of her.
Now, I'm not an idiot. I was on high alert for any std. This was Shelly who was in my bed. I didn't put anything past her. I didn't see any obvious signs of anything. I was just about to start going down on her or letting her suck my cock or just fucking her.
But then I thought, what am I fucking out of my mind. I'm not going to have sex with Shelly. Even if she doesn't have any std, she'll try to get her hooks into me again. No. No. NO.
I shut her down and asked her to leave. She protested so I lied to her. I told her I was seeing someone and she wanted the name. I told her I was protecting my girlfriend from her since she was crazy. She blew up in my face and even after I got her out of my door and everything was locked she yelled insults at me from out there for something like an hour.
The next day she came and found me while I was seated at a concrete bench in the quad. She was all smiles again and apologizing. But when I shut her down again it was yelling and insults along with her grabbing at my books and throwing them at me.
Then campus security came and she was back to all smiles again as they dragged her off this time. If any readers thought that she was just figuratively crazy, hopefully that episode will let you know that she was in fact clinically crazy. She really needed to be on meds. What kind? I don't know but some kinds of meds.
I wasn't having much luck with the ladies even when I established myself as being fully and completely free of Shelly. No woman wanted to have to put up with a crazy ex and I was known as the guy with the crazy ex. The only woman on campus who would do anything even resembling a date with me was my sister, Jamie.
Jamie was not happy with me. She pressed on me over and over again that I should have never dated that basket case in the first place. Then, once I was free of her for so many months I should have never talked to her again. I should have never let her in my apartment. I should have never let her cause a scene. Now everyone was seeing me in a negative light again and I'd likely have to wait a year or something until my image would reform enough for me to get a date.
She had a point. I hated to admit it but she had a point.
We were in a greasy spoon when she clanked her fork down on her plate.
"I'm moving in with you." she announced.
"What? You can't. Your freshman year isn't even over yet."
"I don't care. I have to keep you away from that bitch and if I have to be there to slam the door in her face for you because you're too weak to do it, then that's just what I'll have to do."
"I can handle it."
"Obviously you can't. Look, Drew, I'm tired of sticking up for you. I'm tired of all her constant drama. You're not going to fix it so I will."
"You'll get in trouble with the dean."
"Nobody checks to see if we actually live in the dorm or not. Relax."
"I don't know. With my sister there it'll be kind of hard to get a girl to come over."
"Please. You don't have anyone coming over. And you'll never have anyone coming over so long as bipolar girl keeps stalking you."
"I only have one bedroom."
"So. I'm your sister. Big deal."
"You going to sleep in my bed?"
"Why not."
"Then I'll never get a girl to sleep over and ... you know."
"Ok. The day you get a girl to come over and do that, I'll move out immediately."
"Jamie, I really don't have enough room."
"Make room. I'm moving in. That's final."
"You don't get to decide that. It's my place."
"Oh, do you pay the rent? No. Dad pays the rent. Boom."
"It's my place."
"Get a girlfriend who isn't crazy and I'll move out. Until then I'm there as your body guard."
Before a full week had passed since my sister started sleeping at my place, me under the covers and her on top, my crazy ex did in fact show up. I was trying to talk with her and reason with her through the door. My sister wasn't going to hear anything she had to say. Jamie just called the police. When the police finally showed up, Shelly had a piece of broken wood in her hands and she was trying to smash through the windshield of my car.
I should have been happy to see her in hand cuffs but I wasn't and I wasn't happy that I'd have to replace the window either. The next day Shelly's father came by to tell me that Shelly had made bail but that I shouldn't worry because there was a restraining order that should keep her away. He paid me some money so I could afford to get my car fixed and he gave me a little extra as an apology. Both my sister and I were very incredulous as to if Shelly would really respect a piece of paper.
Jamie was very angry about the car and for the next couple of days she was on high alert. If Jamie saw anyone that even sort of looked like Shelly she was ready to call the cops and maybe go start a fist fight. But, for the time being, it looked like Shelly was keeping her distance.
I don't know how it started but for some reason my sister wanted Shelly to try and come over. She wanted Shelly to violate the restraining order so her bail would be revoked. My sister started going on and on about it. From Friday to Sunday afternoon, all our conversations came back to getting Shelly locked up.