Faithfulness 1

Editor's note: this story contains scenes of non-consentual or reluctant sex.

My daughter, Chastity, had turned 18, and wow, I had to admit, she was a looker. She had a body much like her mother, but I shouldn't go into too many details about my own daughter! Suffice it to say, she had beautiful blond hair, bright blue eyes, and a figure and face that were going to drive the boys wild. Especially her chest which was, no, I should stop there. It's not right for a father to notice these things.

But, she was the product of a beautiful Christian marriage between me and my wife, Maggie, who was equally beautiful. My wife and I had been together since high school, and she looked like she hadn't aged a day. I know that's easy to say, and you might imagine that I'm just being flattering. But, my wife took her health and fitness seriously, and since we got married right after high school and had our daughter right away, Maggie, at 37 years old, was fit as a fiddle, and was often mistaken for being my daughter or Chastity's sister! My wife was not only health conscious, she was genetically gifted, with huge breasts that had kept their size and shape. She also had blue eyes and blond hair. I was a very, very lucky man, and I could see it in the eyes of almost every other man I knew!

Although, I have to say, in my community, there were a number of beautiful women. We all went to the same high school, which was actually two schools, one for girls and one for boys. Not all of the girls at our sister school were as gorgeous as my wife, but, it seemed the most dedicated Christians were. I had often wondered if somehow God had seen to reward genuine faith with an outward beauty that let the inward spirit shine through.

The school we went to, St Valentine's - yes, like the holiday - was a Christian private school, but not all the student body were practicing Christians. It was a very good school and a lot of the student body came from other faiths but enrolled because it had a very good record of sending kids off to good colleges. But, there was a Christian study group led by pastor from the church that was connected to both buildings. We all just called him "The Pastor", and we still do!

He was such a good man, and he was a big part of my spiritual development. I often think that without him, I would have just ended up like so many other boys and men, self abusing and lusting after women and letting impure thoughts ruin my life. He taught me early on the sin of masturbation, and even though it was very very difficult during my teenage years, and I often couldn't keep my promise, I eventually learned to deny myself and keep my body pure for God.

When I first met him, I was still quite young, and so he seemed quite old to me, though he might have just been in his late twenties. As I got older though, he never seemed to change much. He had brown eyes and a shaved head, so it was always hard to tell exactly how old he was. He was tall, and very fit, which made him very youthful, but he also did have some lines on his face which if anything made him seem a little older and wiser. I think he mentioned some times something about roughly how old he was, but, I suppose it never really mattered to me. He just always seemed to be the slightly older and wiser Pastor! That he often wore the black shirt with the white collar, as pastors do, only made him have that much more authority and trust.

The Pastor led Bible study groups, which is where I met him. My parents had raised me in a fairly strict upbringing, and while many teenagers might rebel against that, I had good grades and the love of my parents and good friends, and I attributed all that success to the upbringing I had and the teachings of the Bible. So I was eager to join when I saw that the school had started a regular after school Bible study group in my senior year.

There was one class for the boys, and one for the girls, and I remember when I first walked in the room, he stood up and walked over to me, and with a big smile, and big bright eyes, he held out and shook my hand like a man.

"Hey there, Robert is it?" He had that way about him, that he both commanded and conveyed respect, and it made you feel both confident in his ability to lead and also that he wasn't looking down on you. He knew my name because we were all required to wear name tags at school.

I shook his hand firmly and said, "Actually, everyone calls me Rob," I said.

"Rob it is then," he said, and he patted me on the shoulder as I went to sit down in the semi circle of chairs with the other boys. We jumped right into it, and the first thing he talked about was the sin of masturbation. It came up a lot, I guess because it was high school! And I had struggled a lot with it, so I was glad to be getting spiritual guidance.

The Pastor would educate us boys about how to manage the sin of lust and many other things. However, what the Pastor did that I always thought was truly genius was that he often brought the two Bible study groups together, so that the boys and girls could interact and learn how to be respectful to each other. The school also did that over all, keeping us apart when we needed to focus on studying, but giving us dances and sports events where we could mingle, so it was a healthy balance of keeping the genders apart so we didn't let that dominate our lives, but at the same time not keeping us so apart that there was mystery and misunderstanding. But the Bible study groups were especially good at showing us how to meet similarly minded Christian girls and treat them with love and respect, and find out how to express ourselves by choosing passages from the Bible together and talking about what they mean to each of us.

That was where I met Maggie. It was actually the Pastor who directly introduced us. He introduced many of the boys and girls into pairs, many of which ended up getting married as Maggie and I did! It was like he knew what made couples work! Her name tag said Margaret, but before I said anything, the Pastor said, "She goes by Maggie. Rob, isn't she beautiful?" She blushed a little, but it was true, she was stunning!

I literally was stunned and didn't know what to say, so Maggie said, "I know, it sounds like an old lady's name. My parents are kind of old school." She was so charming, it made me relax.

"No," I said, "It's a nice name!" And from there it seemed like we never stopped talking. We would text message each other and sit beside each other at any school function where it was permitted. We didn't go on dates like a lot of other students did, because we were part of a chastity club that made us promise to remain pure until marriage, and The Pastor said the best way to not be tempted into sin is to not be around it. You can't eat a cake if it's not in your fridge, he would wisely say.

Though temptation seemed to come naturally to Maggie. She made her school uniform look amazing. Sometimes it seemed like she was pushing the boundaries of how short she could make her plaid skirt or how tight her white shirt could be, but, as the pastor later explained, women need to explore how it feels to be looked at by men. Nothing tested my resolve to not masturbate more than Maggie! I can't tell you how many nights I struggled to resist my urges with Maggie on my mind! And I failed the fight against those urges many, many times!

I stuck around after Bible study one time and, as embarrassed as I was, I said, "Pastor, I can't stop thinking about Maggie all the time! Like, literally ALL the time! And, especially at night when I'm alone in bed, it's impossible not to touch myself. Surely, it's not bad to have these feelings for her, but, how do I stop that from becoming self harm?"

"Ah," he said, "are you in love Maggie?"

"I think so," I said, quietly.

"That's good. You should allow yourself to let that love flourish. I think Maggie might feel similar, she's said things to me as well." I was excited to know what she might have said, and he could tell, but he put his hand on my shoulder to keep me focused on the problem at hand. "Listen, it's not easy for a man to not touch himself, especially when you've got a blossoming relationship with a truly rare beauty like Maggie. She is extremely attractive, the kind of girl all men want. So naturally you'll feel something. Just keep trying your best, and, I tell you what, if you feel like you really can't help it, you can text me and I'll help you through it. We can even talk on the phone if need be." I was ashamed of my problem, but also so grateful to have the support of someone like The Pastor.

I did actually text him sometimes, and then once in a while he'd tell me to phone. I'd text and say, "Pastor, I can't stop thinking of Maggie!"

Then he'd phone me back and say, "Alright, Rob, tell me what you're thinking about right now."

I said, "I'm thinking about Maggie."

He said, "I know you're thinking about Maggie, but you need to be specific. The thoughts will own you if you're afraid of them, so speak them out loud. You're thinking of her body, aren't you?"

I hesitated, because it was so shameful, but I said, "Yes, I'm thinking of her body."

The Pastor said, "More specific! What about her body? Which part?" It was strange, he actually sounded kind of angry, but not really angry, just really intense.

"Her, her, her," I stammered, trying to get it out, "her, breasts. Her breasts. Their so big, I can't not stare at them when I'm with her. And I think about them, and what they must feel like, and what they look like if she took off her shirt."

"Good! Good! Keep going Rob! Tell me what you would do with them? Be specific! Don't be afraid to tell the truth, you must always tell the whole truth," The Pastor said.

"I, I, I, I want to put my face in between them and rub them all over my face," I said. I noticed that I was so hard, I wasn't sure how this was helping.

"Just your face, Rob? You just want

to put your face on them? I think you're holding back!"

"N, n, no. Not just my face. My, umm, uh, my, my" I said, scared to say the words out loud, "my penis. I want to put my penis in between her breasts."

"Yes, that's normal, Rob. She has very big breasts, it's normal for you to want to explore your feelings regarding them! I want you to keep going Rob, I want you to tell me honestly everything you would do with Maggie," The Pastor said, "I've got you on speaker phone, and I want you to just keep talking!"

I wasn't sure what to do, I felt so strange sitting up in my bed, with my hard penis seeping clear fluid and making my pajama bottoms have a little wet spot at the top of the tent my penis was making. "I, want to see her mouth on my penis, I really want that. She has such sexy lips! And I want to watch her do it for a long time. And I want to put my penis, I want, I want to put it inside her. I want to have her on her hands and knees, and I'll put my penis inside her and have her like that. And I want, oh Pastor, this is embarrassing, I want to ejaculate on her, especially on her breasts!" I kept talking like that on and on, making a fool of myself, but trusting that the Pastor had a plan.

"Ahhh!" He said at long last, as if he felt that I had come to some kind of important ending. "Yes, good Rob. You've done well."

"But, I'm still, hard," I said. The Pastor said, "Yes, but you've confessed to everything, and that's an important first step. You need to accept these thoughts, and accept that getting erect is going to happen. Now, you're going to have to try and go to sleep without touching yourself, but, you can feel proud of yourself that you're making progress! Now, I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow at Bible study!" I hung up the phone, and I was a little confused. If anything, I felt like talking through everything I wanted to do to Maggie made me more worked up, not less. But, I knew masturbation was a sin, and this was God testing me, so, even though it was so difficult to get to sleep with my penis as hard as it was and thoughts of Maggie making it worse, I managed to not sin against my body.

And that's how it was many times. The Pastor would make me confess my feelings, and in doing so try to help me get over my desire to masturbate. However, it wasn't like the Pastor was trying to make me avoid Maggie. He was the one who actually encouraged me and Maggie to get together. He said we would make a good couple, and that together we could build a family founded on faith, which would make us stronger together. Maggie, I think, was a little hesitant at first, but over time, it seemed she warmed up to me, and, with The Pastor's encouragement, we had made a plan to get married as soon as we were graduated and able. The Pastor would sometimes sit us down as a couple and talk us through how a relationship was hard work and how strong faith would see us through.

He did this with many other boys and girls in the Bible Study groups as well. Some of the boys outside of the Bible group were clearly jealous, as it seemed like the best looking women were being matched up with boys smart enough to be a part of the the Bible study group. And I would tell them that they could also join, but they'd have to give up masturbation and sex, and that's where'd they'd all say no way, saying what's the point of being with such beautiful women if you weren't having sex with them. Especially they'd look at Maggie, and they'd say, "Damn, she doesn't put out? That's not fair of God to make a girl look like that and not want to get it on!" And then I'd try to explain to them how the glory of God is better than any sex could ever be, and they'd not want to hear about it.

Our families were a little skeptical about Maggie and I getting married so young, but, the Pastor brought together people from his church and our study group to show that we had lots of community support, and that other couples in our group were getting married too, and our parents agreed that it was a good thing. We got married with a beautiful ceremony at the church, and you should have seen Maggie that day! Dare I say she wasn't just beautiful, she was so sexy. Her dress was long and white and flowing, but tight in many places, and very revealing up top. Her cleavage was on display and it looked like she would burst out at any moment, as if no dress could hold her chest in! Contrasted with her thin figure, muscular and curvaceous in all the right ways, she was like a true angel left on earth.

I was nervous about my first night with Maggie, but the Pastor took me aside and said that it was going to be okay. The important thing was that we adhere to the values about sex that he had taught us all along, that we don't let it overwhelm us and become the center of our relationship. We were to have sex, but in a controlled, Christian, way. Maggie would be wearing a loose full body pajama dress that would cover her and hide her nakedness from me so as not to cloud my young mind with too much lust. She would pull it up just enough so that I could enter her, but by not being exposed to her fully, I wouldn't be too stimulated and let my lustful thoughts cloud my mind and not see her as the upstanding Christian woman that she is. This is how sex was going to be between us, because sex, we were raised to believe, was for procreation, not to be debased as some kind of animal entertainment!

Maggie was clearly nervous about the sex as well, because just after the ceremony, which he presided over, The Pastor had to take Maggie aside for a while, to help her deal with her anxieties. She was probably just as nervous as me! After they had a nice long talk, she came out of the Pastors office looking relaxed and happy, and I was so relieved. Everyone at the wedding party went to a wonderful reception at a nearby restaurant, and then Maggie and I drove off in one of those classic red convertibles with tin cans tied to the bumper and a "Just Married" sign on it! It was like a marriage from a storybook. Maggie and I consummated our relationship that night, following the instructions of The Pastor. I came very quickly. Even with a pajama dress designed to hide her sexiness, she still was overwhelming, and the feeling inside her was amazing. I could see how people with less faith could let themselves be seduced into going further and further into sexual needs and letting it ruin their lives. However, Maggie and I were stronger than that. We only had sex when she was ovulating, and there was a chance to have children.

I felt so righteous, and if I'm being honest in front of God, a little superior. I had a wife who looked like the kind of woman lustful men would kill themselves for, but she was a good Christian woman who was above that, and I felt proud of her and myself. Though, at the same time, I also struggled to keep my desires in check. Sometimes, when Maggie went out shopping or to meet her friends, I would see her out the door wearing quite sexy clothes. She never dressed like a slut, of course, but after we graduated high school and we were free to wear whatever, she didn't dress too conservatively either. Sometimes her clothes would be quite tight, or show off her legs, or her chest. We weren't prudes or ashamed of our bodies, our Pastor had taught us that the human body is Gods supreme work of art. But, we just weren't supposed to fixate on sexual thoughts. But, I have to admit, when I saw her dressed up some ways, after she left the house, I would have an uncontrollable need to touch myself. I fought myself, I called the Pastor, I did everything I could, but sometimes I lost that fight.

We stayed active in the church, and Maggie would often help the pastor out, and we kept in touch with our Bible study group members. Sometimes we'd have everyone over for a barbecue, and you had never seen such an attractive group of women. Us guys would get together and talk about how lucky we all were. The Pastor changed from being our Bible study teacher to being like our marriage counselor. We would go to him often, sometimes together, but often individually. Maggie, especially, liked to spend time with the Pastor for his guidance and support, and I could always tell when she had been with him because she was always in a much better mood for having been with him!

Maggie got pregnant soon, and it was a bit of a struggle at first, but, many of the other couples from the Bible study groups also had children, so we mutually supported each other. My parents were well to do, so it wasn't a question of money, but I had to balance university life while having a newborn. Maggie waited a year to enroll in university, but we both agreed she should also have a degree, that having a child shouldn't define her whole life.

So she graduated a year after me. And we actually had a good time while in university. I thought having a child would take away all of that, but after the first year, we found out how to balance it all, and we managed to find some good times! Of course, we weren't looking to be party animals like some people in the school were, so that helped. We often wanted to be at home. But, we took turns going out, Maggie with her girlfriends, and me with the guys some times. Sometimes we managed to go out together, and I really enjoyed those times. When Maggie went out partying, wow, the way she looked! She dressed in these tight and skimpy dresses, I often teased her that she was testing me, and she would joke that I should have no problem if I was truly Christian.

When we went out to parties on campus, we had men hitting on her all night! None of them realizing that she was there to dance or just have fun, she wasn't there for a meat market. Sometimes when we were out, we would split up for a time, because we weren't one of those couples that had to keep an eye on each other. Knowing

your wife has a relationship with God and a pure soul makes it so that you don't have to worry about anything. I would see her talking with guys who clearly wanted to take her to their bed, and I would just know that they would be sorely disappointed. Sometimes I'd catch up with my wife a couple hours later, and I would actually feel a little bad for the guy I saw her with earlier. I mean, he must have put so much effort into wanting to be with her, and all that effort for nothing!