Sometimes, life can get complicated. But then, sometimes complicated can be a whole lot of fun.
I just didn't realize it at the time.
"You want me to do
what
?!?" I asked, glaring at Tessa.
She shrugged innocently, as if what she were asking were so completely normal. We were discussing her sister. Her
twin
sister, of whom I had never heard of and had met unwittingly while blindfolded and tied to a bed and . . .
Well, it was a complicated night, you see, it was like
mutter-mutter-mutter . . .
Anyway, Tessa and I were home at her and Quinn's apartment, discussing Nicole: her identical twin sister. And for some reason, Tessa found my confusion and discomfort very amusing. You see, Tessa's technically my girlfriend. Never mind that she's in love with her dominatrix roommate or invited her twin sister over for sex with us last night (
without
telling me, I might add).
"It's not that big of a deal," she said, tilting her head to one side and smiling cheerfully.
She really was stunning, with long honey-blonde hair tied in a sexy ponytail, vivid blue eyes, and a slender, athletic body. Black oval glasses framed her eyes, giving her an air of sophistication and intelligence. A well deserved air, I must say. She always seemed to get better grades than me.
"Not a big deal?!?" I asked. "Are you sure you know what you're saying?"
"Of course. Nicole and I talked it over."
"You
talked it over
?!?"
"Well, yeah. I couldn't suggest this without running it by her."
"But you're asking me to go out on a date with your
twin sister
!"
"Umm . . . yeah."
"That's not right!"
"Don't worry. She's perfectly fine with it."
"Oh, well that makes it all better!" I said, exacerbated. "
She's
fine with it. Well what about me!?!"
Tessa tilted her head to the other side. "What about you?"
"Don't you think it's a bit awkward asking me to go out on a date with your twin sister?"
"Come on," she said, a naughty glint in her eyes. "Us having sex with Quinn doesn't seem to bother you."
"Yeah, well, she's not your twin sister!"
Quinn would be the aforementioned dominatrix, who was away at the moment on family business. I almost (
almost, mind you, but not quite
) wished she was back, just so she could set Tessa straight. As it was, I was having a hard time dealing with my girlfriend.
"Let me ask you this," Tessa said. "Do you care for me any less when you do it with Quinn?"
"What? Umm . . . well, no. Of course not."
"And when Quinn and I make love, does it bother you?"
"Umm, not really, no," I lied. To be perfectly honest, I sometimes got real jealous thinking about Tessa and Quinn's relationship. Tessa had told me before that she loved Quinn, which only made it worse.
"You see?" Tessa said. "You helping Nicole mature won't change anything."
"Mature?"
"She's, you know, not very experienced."
"Oh-
kaaay
. . ."
"She had, you know, a sort of bad experience with guys in high school."
"All right . . ."
"And really, Nicole has something of a confidence problem. I think this'll help."
"Help huh . . ."
"Just make sure you show her a good time."
"So you want me to . . . do what with her?"
Tessa rolled her eyes. "Let me put it this way. I'll make sure I'm somewhere else when you bring her back to the apartment."
My brain felt like it was melting. My girlfriend wanted me to stuff her twin sister like a Thanksgiving turkey. Oh, fuck
me
!
"This is not going to go well," I said morosely.
"Oh, buck up. Here, I'll let you have Quinn's Corvette keys and credit card. You won't have to spend a dime."
I accepted the keys and credit card.
"Tessa, you know money isn't the thing that's worrying me here."
"I'll go set the time," Tessa said. She smiled and opened her cell phone.
I sighed as she called her sister, my head still spinning.
"Hi, Nicole? Yeah, it's Tessa. Yeah? Yeah? Nah, don't worry about it . . . what? Yep, it's all set. Six o'clock. That okay with you? Oh, good."
Tessa winked at me. I just shook my head and left, wondering how the hell I was going to handle this. I sat down in the office room in Quinn's spacious apartment. The room had two computers and I booted the one the girls let me use, started up Halo PC, and spent the next four hours worrying more about team-killing assholes than my girlfriend's twin sister.
***
"Oh,
Daaa
-aaave!" Tessa said, peaking into the office room.
"Yeah?" I muttered, my brain split between the conversation and the enemy Banshee fighter making a strafing run.
She dangled something red in the room, which I caught in my peripheral vision.
"I picked out what you're going to wear."
"That's nice."
Several blue players crested a hill. One of them hurled a long distance plasma grenade.
Then one of them sniped me. Through the head. While I was on the move.
Then the grenade exploded, propelling my corpse into the air, and I decided to cancel out of the game.
"Man, I must be getting old," I said, fully aware that I was only nineteen. "I can't keep up with these fourteen year old pukes anymore."
"
Daaa
-aaave."
I turned around. "Sorry. What were you saying?"
"Shirt. You. In it. Tonight. Date with Nicole."
It was, I must admit, a pretty sharp red button-down.
"Where'd you get that?"
"We bought it yesterday, remember?"