Sometimes, life can get complicated. But then, sometimes complicated can be a whole lot of fun.
I just didn't realize it at the time.
"You want me to do
what
?!?" I asked, glaring at Tessa.
She shrugged innocently, as if what she were asking were so completely normal. We were discussing her sister. Her
twin
sister, of whom I had never heard of and had met unwittingly while blindfolded and tied to a bed and . . .
Well, it was a complicated night, you see, it was like
mutter-mutter-mutter . . .
Anyway, Tessa and I were home at her and Quinn's apartment, discussing Nicole: her identical twin sister. And for some reason, Tessa found my confusion and discomfort very amusing. You see, Tessa's technically my girlfriend. Never mind that she's in love with her dominatrix roommate or invited her twin sister over for sex with us last night (
without
telling me, I might add).
"It's not that big of a deal," she said, tilting her head to one side and smiling cheerfully.
She really was stunning, with long honey-blonde hair tied in a sexy ponytail, vivid blue eyes, and a slender, athletic body. Black oval glasses framed her eyes, giving her an air of sophistication and intelligence. A well deserved air, I must say. She always seemed to get better grades than me.
"Not a big deal?!?" I asked. "Are you sure you know what you're saying?"
"Of course. Nicole and I talked it over."
"You
talked it over
?!?"
"Well, yeah. I couldn't suggest this without running it by her."
"But you're asking me to go out on a date with your
twin sister
!"
"Umm . . . yeah."
"That's not right!"
"Don't worry. She's perfectly fine with it."
"Oh, well that makes it all better!" I said, exacerbated. "
She's
fine with it. Well what about me!?!"
Tessa tilted her head to the other side. "What about you?"
"Don't you think it's a bit awkward asking me to go out on a date with your twin sister?"
"Come on," she said, a naughty glint in her eyes. "Us having sex with Quinn doesn't seem to bother you."
"Yeah, well, she's not your twin sister!"
Quinn would be the aforementioned dominatrix, who was away at the moment on family business. I almost (
almost, mind you, but not quite
) wished she was back, just so she could set Tessa straight. As it was, I was having a hard time dealing with my girlfriend.
"Let me ask you this," Tessa said. "Do you care for me any less when you do it with Quinn?"
"What? Umm . . . well, no. Of course not."
"And when Quinn and I make love, does it bother you?"
"Umm, not really, no," I lied. To be perfectly honest, I sometimes got real jealous thinking about Tessa and Quinn's relationship. Tessa had told me before that she loved Quinn, which only made it worse.
"You see?" Tessa said. "You helping Nicole mature won't change anything."
"Mature?"
"She's, you know, not very experienced."
"Oh-
kaaay
. . ."
"She had, you know, a sort of bad experience with guys in high school."
"All right . . ."
"And really, Nicole has something of a confidence problem. I think this'll help."
"Help huh . . ."
"Just make sure you show her a good time."
"So you want me to . . . do what with her?"
Tessa rolled her eyes. "Let me put it this way. I'll make sure I'm somewhere else when you bring her back to the apartment."
My brain felt like it was melting. My girlfriend wanted me to stuff her twin sister like a Thanksgiving turkey. Oh, fuck
me
!
"This is not going to go well," I said morosely.
"Oh, buck up. Here, I'll let you have Quinn's Corvette keys and credit card. You won't have to spend a dime."
I accepted the keys and credit card.
"Tessa, you know money isn't the thing that's worrying me here."
"I'll go set the time," Tessa said. She smiled and opened her cell phone.
I sighed as she called her sister, my head still spinning.
"Hi, Nicole? Yeah, it's Tessa. Yeah? Yeah? Nah, don't worry about it . . . what? Yep, it's all set. Six o'clock. That okay with you? Oh, good."
Tessa winked at me. I just shook my head and left, wondering how the hell I was going to handle this. I sat down in the office room in Quinn's spacious apartment. The room had two computers and I booted the one the girls let me use, started up Halo PC, and spent the next four hours worrying more about team-killing assholes than my girlfriend's twin sister.
***
"Oh,
Daaa
-aaave!" Tessa said, peaking into the office room.
"Yeah?" I muttered, my brain split between the conversation and the enemy Banshee fighter making a strafing run.
She dangled something red in the room, which I caught in my peripheral vision.
"I picked out what you're going to wear."
"That's nice."
Several blue players crested a hill. One of them hurled a long distance plasma grenade.
Then one of them sniped me. Through the head. While I was on the move.
Then the grenade exploded, propelling my corpse into the air, and I decided to cancel out of the game.
"Man, I must be getting old," I said, fully aware that I was only nineteen. "I can't keep up with these fourteen year old pukes anymore."
"
Daaa
-aaave."
I turned around. "Sorry. What were you saying?"
"Shirt. You. In it. Tonight. Date with Nicole."
It was, I must admit, a pretty sharp red button-down.
"Where'd you get that?"
"We bought it yesterday, remember?"
Ah. When we'd gone to the Six Statue Sprawl shopping center. I vaguely remembered her holding some shirts up to me and muttering under her breath. Honestly, I wasn't paying much attention after the second hour of clothes shopping.
"Oh, yeah. Looks sharp. Like it."
"Thanks," Tessa said. "I also drew up a map to her apartment and this list of recommendations."
I took the two sheets of paper, flipped to the second one, and read Tessa's first recommendation out of thirty.
"Tessa?"
"Yeah?"
"You really don't have to tell me to compliment her on how she looks."
"Yeah, well, it's important to me that the night goes well."
"Don't worry, I'll show her a good time," I said. Over the last few hours, I'd slowly mellowed to the strangeness of this task. It seemed important to Tessa and, to be perfectly honest, there wasn't much normalcy in the sexual side of our relationship.
I got dressed, trying very hard to keep Tessa from fussing over me. If my hair wasn't too messy, it was too neat. My clothes were scrutinized for every microscopic piece of lint, and my breath was examined no less than six times.
When I finally broke free, Tessa leaned out the apartment door and shouted after me as I walked to the elevator.
"Remember, show her a good time!"
"Err, right. No problem."
I took the elevator down to the garage and got into Quinn's cherry red 2005 Chevrolet Corvette.
"No problem. No problem. No problem at all. Right . . ."
I revved the engine a few times before pulling out. It made me feel better. Peeling out of the parking lot was even more fun than I'd imagined, and by the time I was cruising at 90 down the freeway with the wind whipping through my hair, I was in high spirits.
I pulled up to Nicole's apartment complex five minutes late, but I figured a girl likes a little extra time to get ready. I walked up to the intercom and buzzed her room.
"
Hello
?"
"Hi, Nicole? It's Dave."
"
Oh, umm
,"
"
Oh, damn it! Be right down
!"
Fifteen minutes later, she stepped out into the apartment's rather grubby 1st floor hallway. Nicole was, well, she looked just like Tessa,
sans
glasses. Nicole apparently preferred contacts. So also carried herself differently than Tessa. I knew Tessa wasn't the most confident person in the world, but Nicole seemed particularly skittish.
She held her purse in front of her with both arms and carried herself with a small slouch. She had a cute ponytail, but it wasn't as immaculately combed as Tessa's, and her clothes weren't as cutting edge (granted, she didn't have access to Quinn's credit card either). But still, long sleeves and slacks for a date? On a girl? During summer?
But then, there was something immediately appealing about her that I found hard to pin down. I couldn't help but like Nicole right from the start.
"Sorry about that," she said, smiling shyly.
Remember, sound sincere, sound sincere, sound sincere . . .
"Oh no, not at all," I said. "By the way, you look fabulous."
"Really? You're just teasing. I bet Tessa made you say that."
I put a hand in a pocket, shoving Tessa's list and map down further. "Maybe so, but that doesn't make it any less true."
She laughed and smiled. "Oh, stop it. Let's go."
Upon Tessa's recommendation, I took her to the Green Lounge dance club: Tessa and Quinn's favorite haunt. The bouncer let us in without incident since I had my fake ID and the bouncer thought Nicole was Tessa (being friends with Quinn did have its little perks).
Inside, the same deafening, thundering, mind-wracking music as always assaulted my senses. We went to the bar and I ordered her a beer and me a Sprite. Even though Quinn's apartment was within walking distance, I wanted to stay dry and drive the Corvette back.
That, and I didn't want anything impinging on my judgment tonight. Things were . . . complicated.
Nicole gulped her beer down way too fast as she eyed the people grinding against each other on the dance floor. She looked really uncomfortable with the idea of joining in. I tried to get her to dance a song or two, but she stubbornly stayed on her bar stool and ordered a second beer.
Sensing something wrong, I leaned over.