Extending the Milf List

Wednesday night I stayed late at campus, by late I mean sixish. I saw D. Debra heading to play practice, Chris trailing along behind her. I went to the library. I'd been there a couple hours when my phone rang. I got up and went out into the hall. It was my sister.

"Tawny? Hey." I said casually, my head still in the books.

"Someone is fucking in mom's bed and it isn't you or me!" She whispered. "Can you hear them?"

I jerked back to the present. "Hear them?" I repeated distantly. I half understood. "No. No. Sorry. I meant to tell you I, well, ah, Mrs. Rossini, her husband is, he arrived back suddenly yesterday and I, well, she, her sister was staying with her, them and she, Mrs. Rossini, she wanted you know, quality time with her husband. Alone! I mean, without her sister listening at the keyhole. So, yeah, since you weren't coming home much, I said she could stay..."

"She's fucking somebody!" Tawny growled, her whisper rasping. "I heard them. A man. She was on her knees grunting while he rammed his cock into her from behind. God, Sonny, are we running a whore house now?"

"Why was there money the table?"

"No. Fuck off, you know what I mean."

"Not at all. Look, if I start making money, I'll make sure you get a cut."

"I don't want a cut!" Her whisper threatened to breach a threshold and be disqualified. "I want..."

I interrupted her. "Well, if you want me to line up clients..."

"Goddammit, Sonny, that isn't what I meant and you know it. Goddammit, why is someone fucking in mom's room?"

"I suppose she thought it would be rude to fuck in your room I suppose." This, from the department of redundancy department. Okay, I was rattled a little.

"Goddammit, Sonny!" Her voice was ushered out of church to some street corner where it was sure to cause a disturbance.

"Hush, sis! I, I think I know how it is. I bet," I hesitated. I had to agree. "Goddammit, I bet its Brent."

"Brent? What is...oh shit." The voice was readmitted to the library, all hushed and quiet.

"Yeah. I, Jesus, I never thought they'd...fuck me! Let me call you back."

I hung up and stared at my phone. Brent had gotten to Aunt Norma first. I had given Natasha a spare key yesterday, accepting that I had to do her a solid and let her sister sleep at my house. Norma had been at a hotel last night and was checking out today and, well, I guess she was making herself at home.

I called Natasha. Her phone rang and rang and rang.

No answer.

Oh bother. My gosh things get quacked up in a hurry. I took a breath and shook my head. This was not that bad. Natasha had pleaded with me, she carried my collar gift in a little jewelry sack and said, she said that if I did this for her, she'd put the thing on and never take it off again. I asked if that included while she was fucking her husband and she snorted.

"Never happen. We are done!" Neither of us believed her.

According to Brent, she always said that about her husband. Always did and hadn't been right yet. Her phone didn't even go to voice mail she was so insistent on not talking to me. I would have bet the middle inch of my cock that she had her heels in the air and was panting for breath. Joseph Rossini had missed a flight and not gotten in till today. If I was him, I'd have Mrs. Rossini on her back about now pounding the truth out of her and filling her with my cream of lies.

From what Brent said...Brent! Norma had not even slept a night in my house and Brent was already over at my house and in my guest.

My phone rang.

"Well?" Tawny hissed in my ear.

I had no idea what to say, so I dissembled. "If you are so impatient, go join them."

"Fuck you, Sonny, I already shared Chris with your girlfriend..."

"She's not my girlfriend. I fuck my girlfriend, or would if I had one."

Tawny snorted. "Like anyone could tell the difference between a girlfriend and any other female you get within arm's length of you. Is there anyone you don't fuck?"

I thought about that. "Well, let me give it a little thought. You mean besides D. Debra Hamilton?"

"Sonny, she's screaming!"

"Go watch."

"You have me confused with Dalia. Jesus, Sonny, what are you going to do when they get home."

"I've given up on them. I, I don't think they are ever coming home again."

"No? Well think again. Lava wanted me to pick them up. I volunteered you."

"Tomorrow?" I heart accelerated like a street rod.

"No, dummy, Friday night. Late. After play practice Chris and I had a late date planned. Dinner, dancing, a walk in the park."

"It's twenty below outside, are you nuts?"

"Sonny, you have a woman in our house and Brent is fucking...Jesus, he's fucking his Aunt! He's fucking his own Aunt in our house! How do you think Georgia and Dalia are going to feel about that?"

"Relieved." I offered.

She went silent.

"Hello?"

"You are supposed to be Georgia's...when she gets back."

I knew that voice. It mixed the affronted female with the sinister sister.

"What do you mean, relieved, anyway?" Tawny could do anger like Georgia for only about as along as a flea's fart smells. Sort of like the time it takes a bullet to go in your eye and come out your ear, violent and over quick.

"They'll know for sure that my buddies are interested in fucking. You guys can audit, give Brent pointers while he is boning his Aunt."

"His Aunt! God, Sonny, he is fucking her right in our own house. Uh oh." She went back to whispering really softly. "Do they, does he, do your friends now about, about, about us?"

I shrugged and wondered what words to use. I was two for three in the sister department. I decided to be casual and straight forward. "I, I have decided we need to do a mother and her daughter, or three or five. You know, like a bucket list before we have to become responsible adults."

"You have lots of time before you become an adult. I don't see that happening while you can get an erection without the help of a stick up your butt."

"Jeez, does that work?"

"Sonny, dammit. Shush. They're, they're getting up."

I felt all jaunty that I wasn't there to deal with it.

"Oh my god, have you seen his...?" She lost her voice somewhere.

"Yes. I introduced mom to it, remember? She took it in the ass, little sister."

No sound. Then breathing and the soft clunk of a closing door. I had no idea what was happening. Tawny, god, she confused the shit out of me. My imagination volunteered to fill in what I could not see. How uncomfortable was that!

"Why are they showering separately? Goddammit, can't they just share mom's shower and leave ours alone? I bet he leaves the lid up and pisses all over everywhere. My god, I saw his sock. I mean, uh, cock. Dick. Johnson. Boner. Woody. Penis." She spat out the words like they were peas. She hates peas.

"Turrets?"

"He, mom took that up her, her, oh my god, didn't you tell me she let him put that in her ass?"

I had no idea what all I told my sister about my mother fucking my friends. I was pretty sure that was accurate. I did just mention it but maybe she didn't hear, or her brain was on dick overload. It happens. "Gives you a new sense of respect for our luscious mother, doesn't?"

"Sonny, don't be gross. How long are they going to stay? You have to pick up Georgia and Dalia on Friday."

"I, okay, I will. I, I think a couple days, till Natasha gives her soon to be ex-husband the heave ho!" I had my doubts. Honestly, I forgot about my sisters. I'd gotten so comfortable in an empty house, I was completely willing to live out my oft time fantasy of being an only child and not think beyond that. The empty house was luscious and grand and I liked not having gobs of hair in the sink, not the interesting kinky hair that makes you imagine things, just gobs of hair going all slimy.

"I'm going back to the Wills. Say, what is going on with Mrs. Wills? She, she seems...?"

"Yeah. She is." I agreed to whatever Tawny was thinking just so I didn't have to navigate the shoals of the truth in my little dingy of consciousness. "I'll deal with it." I spoke with much more confidence than I felt.

"Well, there is something going on with her and I am, I just don't get it. God, she is never home and I asked Chris about his dad and he went all sullen on me, like I had asked if his dick was going to grow any more or if that was it."

I laughed out loud. My sister, god, she could be funny without even trying sometimes. "What'd he say?"

"Nothing. No, that's not true, he said he was an orphan and he didn't want to talk about it. What does that mean?"

I knew, but I wasn't telling. "It means he's a thespian and you know how dramatic they like to be. Everybody over eighteen is an orphan but we just don't bother to enforce that rule in this country. This may be no country for old men because we are all intent on staying children."

"What?"

"Forget it. Movie reference. I'll deal with Mrs. Spilletti. And Brent."

"Missus? God, Sonny, don't you ever fuck anyone you're supposed to fuck?"

"Who says I'm fucking her? Seems like she has her, uh, hands or whatever already full."

"I'm going to Chris'. Bring our sisters by to say hello."

"I thought you were going out on Friday."

"Fuck off, Sonny." My sister hung up.

Well, at least I knew what I was going home to. Not silence. Not a pleasantly empty house. And not the welcoming embrace of a hot woman. I figured she'd be spent like a condom before Brent rolled up his welcome mat and went home.

I was wrong.

They were still at it when I got home.

I heard them hammering away as soon as I stepped into the house. I thought someone put sneakers in the fucking dryer. I peeked in the laundry room and sure enough, not. The dryer wasn't even on. I followed the sounds upstairs and to the door of mom's room. I peeked inside and there was Norma Spilletti astride her nephew, gender integrating the pony express. She seemed to be behind schedule.

She jerked and cried out, bucking and shaking before toppling off of Brent onto the bed, utterly spent. Again. Tits and elbows akimbo.

I just walked on into the room. She didn't move. Brent saw me and casually folded his hands behind his head and regarded me with squinting eyes.

"That you, Sonny? How's it hanging?"

"Brent, why are you fucking your aunt in my house?"

"Oh, well, because I can." He chuckled. "Because it's cold outside? My Aunt Norma loves cock. You remember, right. You fucked her just the other day."

Norma lifted her head, looking around. "Who are you talking to?"

"Sonny. This is his house."

"Jesus Christ, Brent darling, I haven't been fucked like that since I was in grade school."

"Poacher. That's straight out of Fight Club, and the movie, not the book." I spoke impulsively.

Norma rolled over and draped her tits onto Brent's chest. "Oh, hey Sonny."

"What are you guys doing?"

"Fucking." The both said together. Then, "Jinx! Jinx!" They both laughed and Normal bent over Brent and kissed him on the mouth. He put an arm around her and pulled her on top of him. She reached between them and fumbled for a moment before they both groaned and her ass began to bob up and down. She planted her hands on his broad shoulders and looked around at me, slowly, grimacing like she was having a stroke.

"Hey Sonny." She breathed at me, licking her lips.

I stared at her rocking tits. They were waving at me, making little circles in the air with the nipples. God, they were strong and proud and I just stared. I felt like I was watching sparklers drawing in darkness, her long nipples made lines in the air that seemed to mark my corneas. I realized a moment later that Norma was twisting to show me her tits.

"Brent, what the fuck are you doing here?" I held up my hand. "I can see perfectly fine that you are practicing to be a dildo. Get off him, Norma. Brent get dressed and come downstairs. Now." I didn't sound angry, not to my ears at least.

Brent looked positively abashed when he appeared in the kitchen where I was fixing a sandwich. I asked him what was wrong and he said I never gave orders like that and I must be angry about something.

"Dude, you're fucking your Aunt in my house. On my mother's bed."

"She's not home, right? She's in China. Aunt Norma will change the sheets when she leaves."

I waved a hand at him. "When will that be?"

"When dad's gone. She, she admitted to me that they did it, a long time ago and she knew that if she was in the house with him, he'd try again and she'd let him. That would make mom green down to her toes, Aunt Norma doing dad. She told me about it, in, uh, some detail. She told me he was so handsome, she'd never say no and I asked if that was why she never said 'no' to me and she told me I was not blessed with his looks, I had something better." Brent grinned stupidly, inordinately pleased.

"She likes smart guys?" I said as innocently as possible.

He looked askance at me, his brow knitting. "No. My dick. Aunt Norma loves my dick."

Aunt Norma? He seemed to be using that mode of address all the time. "I wanted to mention that to you. Remember, remember Melissa Crawford?"

His eyes got big. "Mrs. Honeywell's sister. Shit yes! How can I forget that chocolate mousse."

"Don't call her a moose, that's rude and she doesn't look anything at all like a moose."

"I meant..."

"I know what you meant. She's not dessert, she's the main intercourse. Listen, they were, are sisters and the younger sister got a kick out of banging the guys her older sister liked. It became a thing, to hear Alissa tell it, if I remember clearly. Her boyfriends would date her and her sister would bang them while she was getting ready to go out, back when dating had rules and roles. Or maybe it was the other way around? No, no, it was Melissa stealing Alissa's dick."

"So?"

I took a bite of my sandwich, god I was becoming a great cook. "Dummy. Can't you see what is happening? Norma..."

"Aunt Norma!" Brent interjected.

"Aunt Norma? What is it with you, all of a sudden?"

Brent grinned a loopy grin. "She, Aunt Norma says it make her crazy aroused when I call her Aunt Norma." He grinned. "I bet it would work for you too." He shook his big head. "God, she doesn't have a screw loose, all of her screws are turned down nice and tight, but she might be missing a few."

"I get it, so she is trying to screw you to get them back?"

Brent looked at me funny and actually scratched his head.

I just shook mine, my head. "Forget it. Norma is stealing you from your mother. Natasha, she's jealous."

Brent's face looked like a dolphin had just slapped him with a flipper and called him a slut. "What? What are you talking about? This, this was all mom's idea. She, she wanted us to get together."

"Uh huh." I grunted around a mangled sandwich. It had fallen apart and I was now trying to eat a chef's salad without the bowl. Fuck. I dropped the oozing remnants of it on my plate. I got a fork. "Sure. She did. I am sure that is what she said. But, but listen, that may have been a trick."

"A trick?"

"You know, a test, to see if you'd let Norma steal you away from your own mother. Norma and your mom are competitive."

"No. They love each other."

"No even the point. I don't think they like sharing dick. Have you actually had them together?"

"You mean since the first time when we, when you did them in the ass? No. Now that you mention it, no."

"And how often have you had your mother since then?"

"I...uh."

"Uh huh. Norma is tweaking Natasha's nose by fucking her son. If it wasn't for the fact that Natasha was there first, I doubt you'd have gone this far."

"Thanks mom." Brent said, grinning. "I think Norma is a little surprised by how well we fit together. God, Sonny, she does love to fuck."

"Dude. Go home. Your dad is home, go be a family."

"So I can get bonked with a frying pan meant for him and then have to listen to her screaming while they mate? No thanks. I'm staying here."

"No. You're not."

Brent looked at me funny. "Jesus, you're throwing me out?"

He looked so hurt I felt bad. But he had to go. I lit on the exact right explanation. "Dammit, Brent, I want to fuck her and you stretch her all out of shape. When you're done, I feel like a twizzle stick in a mixed drink."

Brent's face went through several expressions.

I waited for a couple minutes, till the silence got uncomfortable. "Brent, listen, the other day, you saw the Favors right?" I stopped, testing for consciousness.

He nodded dumbly.

"I have another mother and daughter combination that I think you will fucking love."

He blinked. Still no sound.

"You need to go home. I promise, I'll keep bringing you pussy till you find one of your own."

"Yeah. Like Chris, and the next thing I know I'll be in line with everyone else."

"Norma and your mom are going to end up doing us all, together, eventually."

"Darn it, Sonny, I just want a woman I can call mine, one that you can't yank on her chain and she comes padding over to suck your cock for you."

I stared at him. Holy smokes, he was right. I was managing to arrange every woman I know onto her willing back. In that moment I remembered what Sid had said about me. God, the man was right. I had to think about that for a while. Later.

"If you are ready to settle down, go graze in the paddock with the other cows. Dude, I am offering you mothers and daughters, together. How many men would give their left nut for that situation?"

He shrugged. "How many men have tried it and lost both nuts in the process?" He grinned bleakly. "Jesus, Sonny, you are a grade A pervert. Shit, I'm glad I don't have a sister or I'd never be able to leave her alone. What is it with you? You have a magic pheromone that makes them want to take off their bras and let you do the rest?"

I shrugged. "Dude, whatever it is, I am not going to quit till I'm dead. I, I haven't really mentioned this before but Sid has me doing something for him and, well, it pays. Dude, I am being paid for fucking an unbelievably stunning array of women, more than I have even mentioned. I ain't a whore, I'm, I'm, well, I guess I am filling a need."

Brent just stared at me. Finally he shook his head and looked a way. "Fuck me, filling a need? Really? You really are shameless."

"Practice makes perfect." I waited. I heard mom's bedroom door open and moments later Aunt Norma squeaked on the stairs. "Go home, Brent. You have a father. He may be a dick or an asshole but I don't have one and for all the guys out there without one, I say that even an asshole is better than having none at all. Don't be a dick and make him wonder if you still love him. If he is an asshole, fuck his wife. That'll put a turd in his milkshake."

"Turd in a milkshake?" Aunt Norma said brightly, sauntering into the kitchen in one of mom's robes. With four kids, my mother got lots of robes for gifts over the years and she kept them all. Wore most of them.

"Hey, don't you have your own clothes?" I asked.

Norma regarded me coolly, the expression of a woman fully fed on ecstasy to the point that nothing I said could disturb her calm. Zen and the art of fucking as a new philosophy of life. Fuck me, I bet that would be a best seller! "Mr. Duncan. Thank you for putting me up. I, I am a bit short on cash and it is nice of you to let me share your domicile."

"Fine. Just don't use it up. You'll be gone by Friday, right?"

She nodded. "Natasha assured me this was temporary and that no way would Joey be in the house for more than a day or two."

Brent rolled his eyes which gave me the willies. I had visions of Georgia glaring at Norma, like two lionesses, no, the lion king has a harem. Bad analogy. But wait. Hmmm.

"Go home, Brent."

"I thought you were going to stay the night and fuck me some more. My cunt likes your cock." Norma husked, her voice stroked my cock like soft, plush lips.