The day after Christmas, Boxing Day in England, we were driving east, Karen at the wheel of her Prius. Karen is meeting up with her adult daughter, Becky and her old school friend Shannon, both traveling half-way across the country for a bit of a new year catch-up -- we suspect news of wedding bells from Becky, so Karen is excited at the potential for a grandchild.
Karen's going to drop me off to visit my nephew, Jay, and his wife, Amy, whom I've never met. Jay's 45, long and lean as opposed to my small on top, really big on bottom body. Must come from his father's side of the family. His mom, my sister, looks more like me. Jay and Amy are college librarians, and reportedly have worked together for years, only marrying in a quiet courthouse ceremony a few months back.
Karen and I are business partners in a clothing store, K & E Gals. We're also best friends, and, in the past year, have become quite open and intimate with one another and other members of Karen's family. A surprising but pleasing later-life development: I'm 60, Karen's 50 ... both about to celebrate birthdays.
"Is David going to be OK without you for ten days?" I asked.
"He'll be fine," replied Karen, eyes on the road ahead. "Susan and Sean are still there, for a couple of days, and he can always have Mum."
"I wasn't really worried about that side of things," I said. "More will he be able to cook and clean for himself, and get to work?"
"David's pretty self-sufficient," smiled Karen. "And, speaking of work, I appreciate your agreeing to close the store for the first couple of weeks this year, so we can make this trip."
"We're always dead in the weeks after Christmas," I said. "Better to take this time to relax, see family, and start the new year refreshed."
"Well, thanks anyway, Evie," said Karen. "I love you."
"I love you, too," I replied, smiling.
"So, we've got a day of driving together, and a night together, before I head out on my own," said Karen. "What do you want to talk about? Or should I just play music or an audiobook?"
"How about we talk for a while, then listen to a book?" I suggested. "And I'm so pleased about our time together, just you and me."
"Me, too, sweetie," said Karen. "I'm so eager I can taste it!"
"You really like those double-entendres, don't you?" I laughed. "I expect we might both get a taste, if we like. But we should keep it quiet, in Jay's guestroom."
"I can be quiet, I won't embarrass you. And I have a fun Georgette Heyer book we can listen to, when we're ready," said Karen. "Anything in particular you want to talk about?"
"So, I need some advice about Jay, before we get to his place," I said.
"What's up?" asked Karen. "Does he have some problem?"
"Not exactly," I replied. "I'm just antsy about meeting his wife, when Jay has always been a bit smitten with me."
"Smitten!" laughed Karen. "Cute word choice. How does he evidence this smitten-ness?"
"Since he was a young man, he's always been cautiously flirty with me," I said. "Hugs held a little longer than necessary, staring, little extra touches."
"Just a youthful crush," said Karen. "And, since you are built like his Mom, totally understandable."
"But he still does it, Karen," I said. "When I saw him two years ago, he was behaving the same way with me. And he's in his forties, now. Plus, I've never noticed any particular touchy-feely business between him and his Mom. We're built the same." My sister, Brenda, Jay's mother, is three years older than me, also big-bottomed.
"Still, that doesn't seem like any real cause for concern, Evie," said Karen.
"And there's the underwear thing," I said.
"Underwear thing?"
"He borrows my used panties from the laundry, I know he does," I said.
"Ha!" said Karen. "Your pervy nephew!"
"He's done that since he was a teenager, too," I said. "And there's Amy."
"What about Amy? You haven't even met her, yet," said Karen.
"Jay emailed a photo a couple of weeks ago, of them, so I know what she looks like, at least," I said.
"And what does she look like?" asked Karen.
"Like me," I said. "Small on top, big on the bottom."
"Well, I like that, so I'm not surprised that Jay does, too," said Karen. "So, you and Amy could be twins?"
"She's shorter than me, and has a lot more hair," I said, rubbing my hand over my short-cropped, gray-haired head.
"That's hard to believe, and what kind of a photo was this, anyway?" asked Karen.
"On her head!" I said. "A lot more hair on her head."
"Oh. OK, then," smiled Karen. "I'll meet them both this evening, and I'll let you know what I think."
We arrived at Jay's in the early evening ... we'd said we'd be there for supper. The Georgette Heyer story wasn't finished, and was suspenseful.
"I'll save the rest to listen to with you when we head home," said Karen. "I've got other things I can listen to for the rest of my drive."
"I'm sorry we won't be together," I said, as we got out of the car and grabbed our soft-sided travel bags from the backseat.
"I'll be back soon enough, and hopefully with news of wedding bells!" said Karen. "It'll be great to see Becky, and I haven't seen Shannon in years."
"They've been friends since college, is that right?" I asked.
"Yup," said Karen. "I've always liked Shannon. She's forward, and I'd say she's flirty, but I know she likes guys."
"Be careful there!" I laughed.
We walked up the path to Jay's craftsman home, and the door popped open before we could ring the bell.
"Hello, hello!" said Jay, giving me a big, lingering hug. Releasing me, he took Karen's hand, saying, "Great to meet you! You must be Karen. Any friend of Auntie Evie's is always welcome here!"
We stepped into the warm house, and quickly understood how Jay could be comfortable in gym shorts, a t-shit, and bare feet.
"Take off your coats," said Jay. "You can hang them there, by the door. Amy! Honey! They're here!" he called back into the house.
"It's warm in here," said Karen.
"Cold outside, warm inside, just how we like it," said Jay.
A short, pear-shaped woman with very long, dark hair, big eyes behind glasses, and a small mouth entered the front room. She was similarly attired to Jay.
"That's why I can be wearing shorts and a t-shirt in the middle of winter," she said. "Hi, I'm Amy." She quickly gripped hands with Evie, then Karen. "It's so great to meet you."
"Where are your glasses, Auntie Evie?" asked Jay, who himself wore glasses.
"I only wear readers," I said. "And only when I need them."
"Amy doesn't really need her glasses, either," said Jay.
"Well, I sure see better with them on," said Amy.
"But you don't really NEED them, do you, honey? Like Auntie Evie doesn't need hers," said Jay.
"I've got mine right here," I said, putting down my bag and reaching into my purse. "I think I'll wear them, now."
"Great!" said Karen. "Now that's settled, where should we put our stuff?"
"We've got Auntie Evie in our guestroom, and you on the sofa in the TV room, Karen, if that's OK," said Jay.
"We'll stay together in the guestroom," I said.
"Are you sure?" asked Amy. "It's no trouble to set you up separately."
"We'd prefer to share," I said.
"How close is the guestroom to your room?" asked Karen. I shot her a look. Karen smiled back.
"There's a bathroom in between, so there should be any issues with noise," said Jay. "Amy, can you show them the way? I'll finish up supper."
Jay disappeared through a doorway to what we presumed must be the kitchen. Amy said, "This way, ladies." And led us down the short hallway to an open door.
Following Amy down the hall and into the guestroom, we watched her generous backside move and shift inside the gym shorts.
"I can't get over the gym shorts and t-shirts in winter," I said.
"Neither can I, to be honest," said Amy, as we put our bags on the guestroom bed. "Jay says he likes the way I look in them, so ... "
"Well, they do show off your figure, Amy ... and I mean that as a compliment," said Karen.
"Karen thinks small on the top and big on the bottom is a good look," I added. "That's probably why we can stay good friends."
"Jay likes that look, too," said Amy. "I know his mom, Brenda, is shaped that way, and you Auntie Evie ... and he's always talking about how much he likes you."
"Always the doting nephew!" I said.
"I think it's one reason he finally asked me to marry him," said Amy. "Because I remind him of you."
"And your gorgeous hair," said Karen. "It's wonderful, Amy. Such a contrast to Evie. Have you always been hairy, Amy?"
"Karen!" I said.
Amy gave us both a curious look. "I've always had long hair, on my head," she said. Otherwise, not so hairy, I guess."
"Good to know," said Karen, smiling at me.
I shook my head. "What's the plan now, Amy?"
"Jay is making us a pizza and salad for supper, and he found some special wines, because he knows you like wine," said Amy. "You'll probably want to change into something less-warm, I guess. Come on out when you're ready."
Amy started to leave us, when Karen said, "Do you have another pair of shorts that Evie could wear?"
"Sure," said Amy. "I'll get them for you. That'll make Jay happy, I think."
Amy left briefly, and returned with a pair of red nylon gym shorts. "Here you go," she said. "I think we're probably the same size."
"Thanks!" I said brightly. Amy smiled and left.
"You are so, so bad," I said to Karen.
"You're welcome," she said. "Now, let's get changed!"
At supper, I felt a little self-conscious in Amy's red gym shorts. Jay's eyes certainly followed my backside when I moved around the dine-in kitchen. When we sat down to eat, he managed to place himself close enough so that his hand could brush against my large, white, exposed thigh whenever he reached into his lap for his napkin.
"The pizza and salad are great, Jay," said Karen. "Thank you for cooking for us!"
"It isn't much," said Jay, smiling. And resting his hand in his lap so that his wrist could just touch my thigh.
"The wine's nice," I said, giving my glass a swirl and sniff. "Chilean Cabernet Sauvignon and Sauvignon Blanc ... good choice for a weeknight."
"That's what the wine section guy at the supermarket told me," said Jay. "And they were on deal." He lightly rubbed his wrist against my thigh. I didn't move.