Ever notice, while you are in the middle of doing something really stupid—usually just as you have passed the point of no return, and will have to live with the consequences anyway—that you have this moment of clarity, seeing for yourself just how boneheaded your actions were? Usually (in my case anyway) the stupidity was all about trying to impress a girl.
I was sliding down the center handrail on the long set of stairs that lead up from the parking lot to the front entrance of the high school where I would be graduating in two short (long, endlessly long) months. I was on my friend Patrick’s skateboard (never mind that I can barely stay on a skateboard on level ground), and headed for disaster. Shannon Kelly; beautiful, blonde, tits-like-ripe-melons Shannon Kelly the cheerleader, was watching with something like a smile on her perfect face. I had a crush on Shannon. Or, perhaps more accurately, I had the hots for her. Sweet, virginal, aloof Shannon Kelly. I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I wanted to get down on my knees and lick her pussy. Christ, I just wanted to touch her. Never mind that I had never spoken two words to her. For some reason I thought she might be impressed by me sliding down the center rail on that long flight of stairs. Pretty boneheaded.
I distinctly heard the bone snap as I landed palms first, and started to tumble. I was near the bottom of the stairs when I finally stopped. I heard someone say, in a hushed, almost reverent tone “Oh shit, I think he’s really hurt.”
I couldn’t move my hands. I didn’t even want to try. The wrists were already swelling grotesquely, turning purple. What hurt worst, what cut through the pain that was already leaking through the adrenaline, what really cut deep, was the pitying look on Shannon’s face as she looked down at my crumpled body. I could already hear the two-tone howl of the ambulance approaching. What a stupid maneuver.
All in all, it could have been worse. I had a mild concussion, and a collection of bruises and abrasions to go with the two broken wrists. The doctor said they were clean breaks, and that I would have to wear casts for the next 6 weeks. I should be out of the casts in time for graduation. He even set my right hand so that I could, with practice, hold a pencil.
My family and friends were all really nice about it. I got a surprisingly short scolding from my mom, and Shannon was sweet enough to initial my cast. Just having her that close to me, having her acknowledge my existence, was enough to give me a raging erection. Which, of course, led immediately to the obvious problem.
I had been jerking off for about the past five years. In that time, I doubt that I had missed a day. I often did it twice a day, sometimes more. I had an active imagination, and a large stash of pornography. Now, it was impossible for me to masturbate. And believe me, I had tried.
The first week was pretty rough. The second week was even worse. I could think of nothing else. For the first time in my life, I had wet dreams. This was doubly embarrassing because I couldn’t make my own bed. My mom was kind enough not to say anything.
My sister Stephanie was home from college the next weekend. I can’t really say I blame her for breaking out in laughter the first time she saw me.
Steph and I watched a movie while mom went over to her friends to play cards. For all her ribbing, Steph was nice to me. She got me a coke, and let me pick out the movie. She was twenty; two years older than me, and our relationship had always been a little rocky. She was the older sister, and I had always been the bratty little brother. Growing up, we had to compete for time and attention from mom. Since she had been away at college, we had started getting along better.
As she put the tape in, I sneaked a look at Steph’s ass. It looked nice, squeezed into a tight pair of blue jeans. My sister had really turned into a woman in the last couple years: she had gone from being an awkward, gawky adolescent to a tall, good looking college girl. I hadn’t realized until tonight just how sexy she looked. Or maybe it was just that I hadn’t been able to touch myself in two weeks.
“I probably shouldn’t ask you this” Stephanie said as she sat back down on the couch, “but how do you masturbate with those things on?”
I was totally taken aback. I’m sure I blushed deep red. It was a moment before I was able to answer “I can’t.”
“But you don’t have a girlfriend do you?”
