My upbringing was very strict and my sister and I often felt isolated from other kids. My 1
st
sexual encounter (or the closest to it) was with my own sister. My sister was 18 months older than me and one day, on the odd occasion we were actually left alone at home, we found my Father's camera and pretended to take pictures of ourselves on various poses (all fully clothed and more experimentation than anything serious). We were so scared that we might be caught that we practically wrecked the camera to make sure that there was no incriminating evidence. It was some childish fun at the time, but it's a memory that hasn't left me. Aside from this, my only focus was my Mother.
I honestly hadn't given my Mum much thought until my friend Simon invited me around to his house to see his Mum sunbathing in a bikini in the back garden. I remember him saying that he felt that his Mum had bigger tits, but I should take a look and decide for myself! I guess you could say that after that I fixated my mum and as I grew up, probably due to my lack of interaction with other women. I started ogling her tits and fantasising when I hit puberty.
My mum was a stay at home parent and she had a lot of issues with self-esteem, but she was my mum and I always thought she had great legs and a particularly wicked side to her. There was an 11-year age gap between her and my Dad. He died young, basically working himself to death as self-employed contractor. To the best of my knowledge, she never had any other relationships, probably because of her low self-esteem.
I tried lots of different ways to get closer to Mum as I grew up. I used to lay in bed pretending to be asleep with nothing on, waiting for her to open my bedroom door to check on me on her way to bed. One night I fell asleep like this and awoke with a start as I'm sure that someone had held my cock. There was nobody there, and I hoped that it would happen again, but nothing ever did.
When I grew older, I met the woman who would become my wife. My Mum and I argued as I would be moving 100 miles away. She refused to visit us, and only came to our starter home when our first son was born. After that she refused to visit again and we had a serious argument and we didn't talk for years.