Engagement Taboo Confession

Today was the big day with months of planning involved. I had made the decision to ask the woman I loved to be my wife. Her engagement ring was nestled securely in my pocket, the picnic basket was packed, and we had arrived at the rose garden at the park. While sure her answer would be yes the butterflies in my stomach swarmed. We had been inseparable since meeting unexpectedly through a mutual friend. We had been so close to each other for years sharing this mutual friend but had never crossed paths or even knew about each other until fate placed us together when we were both ready. For me within five minutes of meeting her my heart and mind were screaming "She is the one, I am going to marry her". Truth be told I actually had her turn me down twice to go on a date. The third time she asked me if I was going to ask her out again and I said no before she told me not to give up so easily.

Today everything was going perfectly as planned. It took massive amounts of patience on my part not to pop the question until the time was just right. When the moment arrived I did the traditional one knee with ring in hand proposal. She smiled and immediately tears poured down her cheeks. However they weren't tears of joy but sadness. My stomach turned and my heart literally stopped beating for a second. How could I have been so wrong, what had I missed, were my own feelings blinding me?

She took the ring from my hand and choked back her emotions before telling me she wanted nothing more than to be my wife BUT we needed to talk first. She explained that she had been wanting and waiting for this moment with me but also dreading it at the same time.

Before locking me into engagement she didn't want me to not be aware of her past and something else first. Marriage she told me shouldn't be entered without truth. We took a seat on the blanket and she proceeded to tell me about growing up with her stepfather (now deceased) after her mother passed when she was young. How eventually her stepdad had her started watching porn with him and watching him masturbate. The progression of events that moved to eventually helping him masturbate to them becoming intimate with intercourse

I was floored and at a loss for words, nothing prepared me for what she was telling me. She continued telling me that wasn't the worst part of her confession because her stepdad was a voyeur. This was something her mother hadn't been aware of but something her stepfather had kept careful hidden. Because he liked to watch she eventually started performing with a handful of select mature men her stepdad selected.

The men and her participation in the encounters was something she had agreed to prior to performing. Secrecy had been paramount with everyone involved and the encounters happening in private with just the same individuals involved separately or sometimes as a group.

She told me I deserved to know everything and nobody wore a condom or pulled out to cum. Fortunately she avoided catching an STD or getting pregnant but the encounters had few rules or restrictions. They included everything from Polaroid pictures, video taping, to carefully administered lines of meth being given to her to snort sometimes to extend the encounters from hours into day long events.

She then explained that despite her age she was completely aware of the legality and morally but was something she wanted and enjoyed. That even though things were perverted they were also physically very pleasurable to her.

With her enjoyment also came a developed preference towards older men. This preference carried into her young adult life with avoiding dating and arranging encounters with mature men on her own through various websites. The encounters according to her were to satisfy physical needs and desires without the mess of romance interfering in the rest of her life.

She told me it was important to her that she tell me about her past because her physical preference towards older mature men hadn't gone away. Even now (at the time) she still deeply desired encounters with mature men but she hadn't done anything since meeting me and hadn't cheated.

Being brutally honest with me she admitted that she knew it was only a matter of time before she would end up stepping outside of our relationship to satisfy her desires for physical intercourse with more mature men. She loved me immensely but wouldn't be able to control herself and eventually cheat on me destroying my love and trust in her.

To be honest at that point in my life (early twenties) taboo stuff like with her stepdad and the other men hadn't ever been anything I had even thought about. Even the random sexual stuff with mature men from online she had frequently pursued on her own and apparently still strongly desired hadn't been a thought. Admittedly hearing her describe her taboo encounters and solo mature experiences turned me on but the thing that got me the most was her honesty. The fact she told me something so difficult to confess and her continued physical preference for sex with mature men made me trust her completely. I knew at that very moment that supporting her and accepting her for who she was that she wouldn't ever lie to me. I loved her and offered her an agreement if she would be my wife. We would both agree never to keep secrets no matter how difficult to admit. In return we would find her a mature FWB for regular encounters. I told her as long as I could watch now and then and if we went into the arrangement together as a team and both agreed on things it wouldn't be cheating.

We kissed and embarrassed tightly and I got a resounding yes to marriage and my best friend at the same time. We got married and also found a mature man who was windowed and vasectomy safe for her. I watched them weekly for years to come, even early weekday mornings while having coffee when he would stop by on his way into his office. We would sit at the kitchen table drinking coffee as she bounced up and down on his cock an finish up by taking his load deep. We all got along well, with him helping me build a deck, to weekends at the lake. Our neighbors even assumed he was her uncle and became accustomed to his car in our driveway.

Personally I became quite taken regarding her taboo experiences and her willing participation. Through her I discovered that willing desire to participate doesn't constitute being a victim regardless of the legality or morality. Not claiming it isn't wrong or unhealthy but everything shouldn't be grouped under one strict belief either. She did what she did because she wanted to and did it with the knowledge of what she was doing. Her stepdad and the other men did what they liked but they also didn't take advantage of someone forcefully or unwilling. That to me is erotic and I am glad they all achieved sexual gratification regardless of the legality or social stigma.