I walked back into the living room and looked at the hole I blasted through the wall. It was a mess. The shot went right through it. It was a god sized hole I would have to patch. The carpet where we had lain was a mess too, stained and matted where cum had leaked from me. It was a mess where I had sat too. Well at least I can clean the carpet right now I thought as I went to the closet and got and filled my spot carpet cleaner. I quickly went to work and cleaned up the mess. The hole would have to wait until later. I would have to get a patch kit to patch the drywall later in town. I thought I would pick up a few pregnancy test kits also.
I discovered I was famished and had breakfast. I ate a lot more than I usually did for a Saturday morning. I did what I usually did when I was stressed and had to think myself out of a situation. I walked to the barn and saddled up my horse and went for a long ride. I spent the rest of the day riding. I prayed while I did that the pills would work. My religious faith was against abortion my family was too. I wasn't sure I could go through with it if the pills didn't work. I know I tried them before when I was careless. Even then if they hadn't worked, I wasn't sure I could have gone through with an abortion. I had been lucky up until now. I was worried at what Eddie would do. If he would disown me or have nothing else to do with me. I would die if that happened. My life would be over.
I was lucky my little pocket of land bordered public lands on two sides. I had thousands of acres where I could ride undisturbed in total silence. I could become lost in the splendor of nature. There was a place about two and a half miles from my house as the crow flies that I had stumbled upon several years ago. I headed there now. It was my secret place. It was unusual in that it was a sandstone outcropping surrounded by forest. It was about five acres in size with a small deep pool in approximately in the center of it. Water bubbled out of the sandstone there and flowed about thirty feet and disappeared into a small meadow below that had tall cedars in it. The sandstone outcropping itself was covered with scattered scrub oaks. In itself, the area was strange but unremarkable. The day that I stumbled across it I had tied my horse in the meadow and explored the outcropping. That's when I discovered my hidden secret place. I had never told anyone about it and didn't want anyone else to know. It was mine.
I rode until just before noon and tied my horse to a scrub oak where the small stream disappeared into the meadow and walked to the pool. I sat on the flat sandstone beside the pool where I usually lay sunning myself during warmer weather. I wished it was warm now. I would have loved to strip and jump into the cold water and lay where I was sitting now and enjoy the heat of the sun on the rocks. There was an overhanging rock outcropping at the upper end of the pool where there was a small sandy beach. I would sleep there on those times I could escape from the stress of life and spend time here. I had packed in one of those plastic storage bens and stored a small one burner backpacking stove and a sleeping pad. The pad I would lay on the rock when I sunned myself. I also placed an old jar with a note pad explaining to anyone who would find this place to leave a message. I hoped I would never see someone leave that message.
I would usually find myself daydreaming that only I and the Native Americans that had lived here long ago were the only ones that knew about this place and sometimes wished I could find myself back during that time where there was no stress of modern day. I wondered what it would have been like to have been discovered here, a lone white woman with golden hair, naked and taken by a savage Indian.
Here in total privacy, clothing was optional. In warm weather I usually stayed nude. I couldn't stay long today. I would need to get back soon, it would get dark early. I needed to get back and take the second pill before bedtime. I checked to see if anyone had found the place and was happy no one had. After getting back on my horse I rode back to the barn, unsaddled my horse brushed him down and fed him. It was already dark when I finished. I was glad for the long ride. My mind I let go blank and only concentrated on the ride and the care of my horse. Now that I was home, the problems rushed back. Walking back to the house I ate a quick meal and when looking at the clock, discovered it was time for the second pill. I quickly downed it and decided it was time to clean up and go to bed. I took a long leisurely bath soaking my tired muscles that ached from the ride. After the long soak I soaped down and rinsed. I went to bed shortly after that and lay there totally awake. I couldn't sleep. Events of the past several days kept playing through my mind. The last time I had to take the pills they made me nauseous and I bled a little, some of the side effects of the pills. I hoped it wouldn't be too bad.
I was really bothered about my situation. Not that I needed the morning after pills but how I had reacted to Billy. It was a sexual urge that was hard for me to suppress. I was having a hard time understanding why it was so hard to control. I thought back to the first time a man had took me and the training he and his friends took me through. It was for an occupation that I understood now that I would not have been wanting to do. There was no way I could ever be a prostitute. That was their early design for me. They did show me how wonderful sex could be, how incredible orgasms could be. I was still in control back then. When that was all over and I was on my own, control was fairly easy. Then later when an old BF and his friends did what they did to me that one summer on the farm, I lost control, total control. I've had a hard time after that.
Group sex, multiple partners and even being with one man who had exceptional qualities was an extreme turn on for me. It really depended upon the situation. I don't jump into bed with every guy that strays across my path. I pick and choose and sleep with whom I want. My three cousins, as despicable as they were, I knew I wanted to fuck them. The situation shamefully presented itself and I took advantage of them just as they took advantage of me. Billy on the other hand, I wasn't prepared for him. I really don't understand why I fucked him. It wasn't that he fucked me, I fucked him. It was the situation, an uncontrollable situation. My only real regret that it wasn't Eddie's sperm inside me. I wondered when and if Eddie and I were finally together that I could be totally faithful to him. I wondered if he would be OK with sharing me with other men. It was the variety that I desired the most.
Just thinking about it here lying alone was turning me on. I was feeling the heat rise in me. My fingers were straying like they had a mind of their own. An orgasm arose easily and rushed through me. It was a hard one and I dozed off after it thinking of Eddie, and him sharing me with one of his friends. I was between Eddie's legs deep throating him, making him squirm, while feeling a large hard cock sliding into me from behind. It was exquisite being with the man I loved and having another fuck me from behind.
