Eat your heart out
Dave and Pete Cozzi were identical twins. They grew up gawky and were self-described geeks, but they owned it and didn’t care. They had a core group of friends that included Kyle Mackey, Al Farley, Chris McGuire, and Trevor Fisher.
They befriended each other as misfits in their freshman year at Jefferson High, where Kyle later became a teacher. They shared a love of science fiction and board games and became inseparable. The fly in their t was the class bully, Hunter Pierce.
Hunter was the quarterback and prom king, and he thought he was a gift to Jeff High, if not the world.
***
On a bright Saturday morning, Debbie Pierce— Hunter’s mother—was sitting down to breakfast in the local diner. She was with her daughter Hana for their weekly visit. It was never pronounced anything but Hah-Nah if you wanted to be in her good graces.
Hana noticed Debbie watching the door with hungry eyes. She turned and saw the objects of her mother’s interest.
“Jesus, Mom. Wipe your drool already.”
Debbie laughed and said, “Sorry, baby, but those twins gave me a jolt right to my kitty.”
“Mother!” She scolded.
“Oh shush! If I was your age I’d be joining them right now.”
“They are cute, in a Clark Kent kind of way. I wonder if they work out together?”
Debbie laughed and said, “There, see? I knew you were my daughter.” She pictured the muscular young men shirtless and sweating as they lifted weights and shivered.
They both laughed and hurried to stifle it when the handsome young men were seated at the table next to them.
Pete nodded towards the ladies and Dave followed his eyes and smiled. He recognized Mrs. Pierce and her stuck-up daughter. He laughed remembering their ten-year reunion the week before.
“What’s so funny, bro?” Pete asked.
“I was thinking about what Julie did to Hunter at the reunion last week,” he whispered.
Hunter got kicked in the balls by Kyle’s girlfriend Julie after he rudely and aggressively hit on her, and Al’s wife Gina.
Pete joined him in laughter and then switched seats to have the beautiful women in his direct line of sight.
“Can I get you, boys, a drink? Coffee? Water?” The waitress asked.
Pete smiled and said, “Yeah, could we get a couple of mimosas and send two more to the ladies there.”
The waitress smiled back and said, “Sure, honey. Good luck.”
She laughed as she walked away.
“Fucking hell, bro, Hana is a fox.”
“You know it, and her mom could redefine what a milf should look like.”
The waitress delivered their mimosas, smiled, and delivered the ladies theirs, letting them know who bought them.
When Hana and Debbie looked over, the brothers lifted their glasses in a toast. The ladies smiled and returned the air toast.
Pete stood and invited the ladies to join them, “We’d love your company this morning, ladies. Please join us?”
Debbie kicked Hana under the table and Hana spoke up, “I don’t think...”
“We’d love to join you, thank you,” Debbie said, cutting Hana off.
Hana frowned but followed her mother to their table, bringing her mimosa and coffee.
“I have to say, guys, I’ve never had anyone buy me a drink in the diner before,” Debbie said coquettishly.
“Oh, please,” Pete said confidently. “I’m sure two sisters as beautiful as you get hit on all of the time.”
Debbie laughed as Hana rolled her eyes.
“You’ve got the devil’s tongue, young man. I’m old enough to be your mother.”
With a straight face and looking deep into Debbie’s eyes, Pete said, “My mother is nowhere near as hot as you are. I’m Pete and this is my brother Dave.”
The forty-six-year-old Debbie was flustered. Hana said, “I’m Hana and this is my
mother
Debbie.”
Dave thought that Debbie must’ve had Hunter when she was only eighteen. “Nice to meet you, both.”
“Ready to order?” The waitress asked breaking the flirtatious eye contact between Dave and Hana.
***
After eating, Debbie excused herself to use the ladies' room and Hana followed.
“Dude, I’ve got Hana,” Dave said when they were out of earshot.
Pete laughed and said, “I will be extremely disappointed if we don’t have them both before too long and I can’t think of a better revenge on Hunter for all the crap he gave us.”
Dave laughed and said, “Shall we do the old switcheroo, or play it straight?”
“Bro, I have a feeling with those two we can play it straight and have them both, Debbie for sure. I bet she’d come home with us right now if we offered to plug her holes together. She’s practically drooling.”
Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Debbie washed her hands and said, “Hana, I got dibs on Pete.”
“Mother! You can’t be serious.”
“Hana, I haven’t been with a man since your asshole father left me two years ago. That young man is going to be the one to shake the cobwebs off and if he’s not careful, it’ll be in the backseat of my car as soon as we walk out the door.”
“Oh my God!”
“Don’t tell me Dave doesn’t have you eating out of the palm of his hand. I see you laughing and flirting with him.”
Hana sighed and agreed, “Yes, I like him, but I’m not dragging him to my back seat.”
“Let’s see how this goes. You can have Dave, baby.”
They found the men laughing when they got back to the table. Both men stood as the ladies approached and pulled out their chairs for them.
“We’ve enjoyed breakfast, ladies. Would you like to join us for dinner tonight? Believe it or not, I can cook quite a meal,” Pete asked.
“Really?” Debbie swooned. “You can cook?”
“We went to culinary school for two years,” Dave said proudly.
Debbie looked at Hana and winked, “We’d love to join you for dinner this evening.”
“Fantastic,” the twins said in unison, doing an impression of their favorite Doctor Who, the ninth Doctor.
They exchanged numbers and Pete texted their address before saying their goodbyes.