Dude You Slept With My Mom Ch 30

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(Bucket-List Progress: Week 24 - 54/104 = 51.92%)

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~~~ Week 24 - Saturday ~~~

I woke up to the sound of giggling - immediately followed by two tongues licking my cock like a lollipop.

"Fuck...," I groaned.

"Good morning, Fatdick," April snickered.

I grabbed her hips and pulled her onto my face. The two of them licked, lapped, nibbled, and sucked as I licked and sucked her slippery little twat. She wiggled and wriggled but I held her tightly and plundered her treasures.

I went off just as she did. I'm not sure whose mouth took my load but, when I shoved her hips off of my face, they were sharing it. I groaned at the erotic vision in front of my eyes and rolled off of the bed to head for the shower.

We met Alissa at the jobsite. It felt so good to have her back. I still hip-checked her, the first chance I got. She returned the favor several minutes later, caught me off-guard (and off-balance), and threw me into some shrubs. I glared at her - lying on my back in the foliage - but she just bent over laughing and ignored me.

I clawed my way free and then looked over the bushes to make sure I hadn't broken or damaged anything that we'd need to replace. She swatted me on the ass and darted back off for her current job.

"I can't believe I told you that I missed you," I growled at her.

"Serves you right for narking me out to Brian," she shot back.

"You're not seriously still pissed about that?" I asked.

"I... I wasn't ready for him to know," she said.

"I'm pretty sure he already suspected," I told her. "He'd figured pretty much everything else out."

She scowled at me. I gave up arguing with her and returned to my tasks.

Maggie and Brian swung by mid-morning. I spotted them before Alissa did. I cracked her on the ass and took off for the car.

"Oh... hey Brian," I yelled.

Alissa looked up from chasing me to spot the parked car ahead. She slowed to a jog. Brian smothered a laugh. Maggie just shook her head at us.

"We brought you a cold drink," Maggie said, handing me a partially frozen bottle of water.

"Thanks, Mags," I said.

I twisted the cap off and took a big drink.

"Fuck! That's cold!"

Emily and April came jogging over to greet our visitors.

I headed back for my current project. A few minutes later, Alissa returned and I looked up to see Maggie and Brian leaving.

"You get a kiss?" I asked her.

"Bite me," she growled.

"Only if you ask nicely," I replied.

The rest of the morning flew by.

Since it was Saturday, the diner didn't have our food on stand-by so we had a few minutes to relax before our lunches were ready.

"Brian's really tired of beds, isn't he?" I asked.

Alissa nodded and said, "The hospital wanted to keep him another day. He was adamant that he was going home as soon as possible."

"Did the hot tub hurt him any?" Emily asked.

"I don't think so," Alissa replied. "We just chilled on the couch after you guys left. He seemed fine. He just needs to take it easy and give his ribs time to recover."

"What about his arm?" April asked.

"He says the cast itches," Alissa told her. "Maggie had a little back-scratcher. I used the handle and kind of got the itch to go away."

"So, you really scratched his itch, huh?" I asked her.

I quickly put my hands up as she tried to bite me - while the girls just laughed.

"I can come back...," the waitress said, laughing, as she arrived with our food.

"No," Alissa said. "I'm starving!"

"Don't you kids eat breakfast?" she asked us.

"Not usually," I admitted.

She shook her head at us and dropped off our meals. She took our glasses to get us drink refills. We dug in. By the time she returned, we were most of the way through our food.

"I guess you weren't kidding...," she said.

We finished up, gulped down a few more swallows of our sodas, tossed the tip onto the table, and headed to the counter to pay.

I waved to the owner on the way out of the door. He smiled and waved back.

April rode with Alissa. Emily sat beside me in the seat.

"You think Alissa's really pissed about me telling Brian that she liked him?" I asked.

"A little," she said. "I thought teasing her about kisses would take some of the heat off of you but she's still being gnarly. I think we're just going to have to ease off and let her work through it."

"Okay."

When we arrived, I grabbed my gloves, piled out of the truck, and headed back to my task. Alissa settled in a few feet away and started on hers. After a minute, she turned and caught me staring.

"Nice ass," I said, grinning.

"You're an ass," she replied, grinning back.

I just shook my head and went back to my chore.

By five o'clock, I was more than ready to be done for the day. We were just putting our things away for the night when Mr. Reynolds swung by.

"How we doing?" he asked Emily.

"We'll be done Monday," she told him.

"Good," Mr. Reynolds said. "It's nice to have you back Alissa."

"Glad to be back," she replied.

"Brian expressed interest in joining the team," I told him. "He'll need a few weeks to rest up. I told him that we'd ease him into things."

"Sounds good," he replied. "Maggie starting the paperwork?"

I nodded.

"Good, good," he said. "See you guys."

"See you," I replied.

Mr. Reynolds drove away.

We finished loading our things.

Maggie and Brian pulled up beside Alissa's truck.

"You guys doing okay?" I asked, glancing from Brian to his mother.

"He won't sit still," Maggie complained. "You guys up for a car ride and dinner?"

"We gonna wedge four of us in the back?" I asked her.

She nodded and asked, "Is that alright?"

"Works for me," I said, looking around at the others.

"There's a new steak place on the far side of town," Maggie said. "I thought I'd call and reserve a table and then maybe we'd drive through the rich neighborhoods and pick out your next house while we wait for our slot to open up."

She grinned.

"My next house... Yeah, right," I said, grinning back.

"We'll run home and shower," Emily told her. "Stop and grab us once Alissa's ready."

"Will do," Maggie replied.

Maggie and Brian headed off, Alissa followed in her truck, and the rest of us pulled away from the hotel and headed for home.

We showered quickly, changed into casual clothes for dinner, and headed out to the street to wait for our ride to arrive. Maggie pulled up a minute or two later. I climbed into the middle, beside Alissa, and April climbed onto my lap. Emily took the last open seat and pulled the door closed behind her.

"Everybody comfy?" Maggie asked.

"I am," April giggled, wriggling on my lap.

"Sit still, brat," I hissed.

She only giggled louder. Even Brian laughed at her.

"We've got about 40 minutes to kill," Maggie warned us.

"Let's house shop," I said with a grin.

She winked at me in the rearview mirror.

Maggie drove us to the area with the nicest houses and the biggest yards and we all picked our favorite mansions. We cruised around until it was time to head for the restaurant.

Since we'd called ahead, we were seated almost as soon as we let them know that we had arrived. Brian sat between Alissa and his mother. I sat between Emily and April.

We ordered our drinks, an appetizer to share, and then studied our menus.

By the time the waitress returned, we were ready with our orders. I got a steak, mashed potatoes, and a salad to start.

"A salad?" Brian asked, snickering.

"I've gotta watch my girlish figure," I replied with a grin.

I laughed when he ordered the same thing. He grinned back at me.

We fucked around on our phones and chatted until the appetizer arrived. Our salads came soon after that - and then (before we knew it) the entrees were coming out.

"Dude, that's still mooing," Brian teased.

"Looks perfect," I said.

I cut off a chunk and stuck it in my mouth. It melted like butter.

"Fuck, yeah...," I moaned.

He shook his head at me and cut into his sheet of charcoal.

"We've got a small jackhammer in the truck if you break that knife off," I teased him. "That thing was done cooking two weeks ago."

"You're just jealous," he said, gnawing on the bite he'd finally sawed loose.

I ignored him and went back to enjoying my meal.

April and Emily had ordered chicken strips. Maggie had a small sirloin. Alissa had a tomahawk that didn't look half-bad.

"How is it?" I asked her.

"I think I should've gotten the ribeye like you," she replied.

"Switch?" I asked.

"Uh... no thanks," she said, grinning. "I like mine somewhere between the two of you."

Brian didn't say anything but he did eyeball her steak a little more often than he did his own. His was severely overcooked. I preferred mine underdone but Alissa's didn't look bad at all.

By the end of the meal, I felt like I needed to have someone wheelbarrow me to the car.

I groaned as April climbed onto my lap and laid herself back against my bloated belly. She snickered at my misery.

"You coming to church tomorrow, Mags?" Emily asked.

"You go to church now?" Brian asked his mother.

"We sit with Sam's family," she said, nodding.

He turned to Alissa and asked, "You too?"

"Yeah," she replied. "It's not long and he's not too preachy. We usually go eat after and then go to Sam's mom's house to play games and visit and stuff. Sometimes my mom and sister stop by."

"You guys really weren't kidding about spending every waking hour together, were you?" he asked.

"You going with us?" Alissa asked him.

"Yeah, sure," he said. "If you all can handle it, I should be fine. Church might burn down though."

"I doubt it," I said, laughing. "Pretty sure it'd already be ashes if God was that surprised to see any of us showing up."

Emily snickered and pretty soon we were all snickering, giggling, or laughing.

Maggie dropped us off at our place, we told the others goodnight, and we headed into the house, slipping around the building to go in through the back door.

I made love to Emily until she came and then did the same with April. After that, I stacked them face-to-face and slid my cock between their vulvas to batter their clitorises until I was ready to nut. I shoved inside of Emily and fired off two rounds and then pumped the last few rounds into April. They cleaned me up and then - as usual - went to town on each other - earning themselves another orgasm or two as I nodded off to the sounds of sensuous slurping.

~~~ Week 25 - Sunday ~~~

We came down the side aisle and slipped into Mom's pew next to Lena.

"Why'd you switch sides?" Mom asked.

"Maggie's son, Brian, is home. I think he's coming with them," I replied.

A few minutes later, they came down the middle aisle - Brian walking between his mother and Alissa. They slid in next to Mom.

"Morning, Chrissy," Maggie said.

"Morning, Maggie," Mom replied. "This your son?"

"Brian, this is Sam's mom, Christine, and his sister, Elise."

"Good morning," he said, shaking Mom's hand and smiling at my sister.

"On the other side of Elise is Lena - Emily's mother," she continued.

"Good morning, Mrs. Kruger," he said.

"It's Ms. Matthews now, hun," she replied. "Good morning."

"Oh.. my bad," he said.

"No, that's mine," Emily countered. "I'll catch you up when we get to the house. My mom lives with Sam's."

"Ah... cool," he said.

I could tell that his brain was churning with the massive new load of data. I tried not to grin. I caught sight of the two women who sat on the opposite side of the church - as they slipped in - and my grin disappeared. I worried about how much longer I'd be able to sneak by before getting caught and called out.

An hour or so later, we were filing out through the big doors. Maggie introduced Brian to the minister.

"Friend of Sam's?" he asked.

Emily snickered.

"We... uh... went to high school together," Brian told him, nodding.

"Very good," the minister replied. "Glad to have you with us."

Once we were outside, he turned to Emily.

"What was that about?" he asked.

"Elise says Sam get the prize for bringing the most visitors," she told him. "Somehow the minister thinks he's the cause of his mother's pew filling up with new faces."

Brian shook his head and grinned.

"You survived," I said, patting him on the back.

"I think I smelled smoke," he said. "I was starting to worry."

I laughed and said, "That's just somebody burning their leaves."

"You sure?" he asked.

"Definitely," I replied. "It's got an acidic tang that burns my nose. I'm ready to get moving."

I turned to Mom.

"What's for eats?"

"If I buy your lunch at the Colonel's, can I get you to grill out for dinner?"

I turned to Brian.

"You game?"

He nodded, grinned, and said, "Sure."

I looked back at Mom.

"As long as Brian helps, I'll take the deal," I told her.

"Looks like I'm buying two lunches then," she said, smiling.

We all loaded up and went to visit the bloke with 11 herbs and spices, the goatee, and that weird western tie.

The dad with the God-awful scowl was back again. I crop-dusted him right before I collected my tray of meals and headed for the table.

I got the Nashville Hot chicken strip meal. The strips had a little more fire than I really wanted but I enjoyed them just the same.

The girls tried one of my pieces of chicken. Emily liked it. It was way more heat than April wanted. She drained her fountain drink and I had to go get her a refill. I warned her that the carbonation in the soda wasn't helping the burn any.

A while later, we ended up at Mom's house. I found Brian on the couch, holding his hand to his ribs.

"You alright?" I asked.

"I just need to stay put for a while, I think," he said.

I checked the fridge, told him what Mom had for drinks, and then got something for each of us. I brought it over and sat down.

"If you're still tender when they're ready to start dinner, I can handle the grill by myself," I told him.

"I appreciate you bringing me into the fold as it were," he said.

"Whether or not you and Alissa wind up together," I told him. "If you end up on the work-team, you're probably gonna get roped into this on a weekly basis."

"It's cool," he said. "It's comfortable and friendly. You guys are very welcoming."

"Alissa's mom and sister drop by every once in a while," I told him. "She had gotten out of touch with them for a couple of years. Her sister and Elise went to school together so - when Alissa was ready to see them again - my sister got everything arranged."

Emily came over and dropped onto my lap. April knelt on the couch beside me and leaned over my shoulder. Brian shook his head at me and smiled.

"Dude..."

He looked at Emily - who was obviously waiting to chat.

"Background on my mom," she said.

"Okay, go," he replied.

"The first time Sam met my mother, she had a bruise on her face from my dad."

"Shit!"

"Dad was drinking more - and I think he was already cheating on her. Sam put himself between Dad and Mom."

"You do go full-auto, don't you?" he asked me.

I nodded and said, "Yeah, I kind of just can't stand for that shit."

"Got ya," he said, nodding.

"Sam defended Mom - and me - to my father - but Mom more than a few times. It was tense. Dad kept showing up drunk almost every time we were around the house. Sam basically told him that he was a piece of shit - which he is. We got my mom moved in here with Sam's mom because he and Elise were already gone and she had room. It's been terrific for mom and she's fallen pretty hard for her knight in shining armor."

Brian's eyes found Lena, playing games with our two mothers, Elise, and Alissa.

He nodded to Emily and said, "I could see that."

Emily glanced at me, silently asking about how much more she should share. I shrugged.

"Sam had already slept with my mother at that point," Emily told him.

"What?"

She took a breath and decided to press on.

"Your mom was the first older woman that Sam slept with," she told him.

"Okay," he said, cautiously.

"Your mom approached him that first time and - afterwards - he got this hair-brained idea to sleep with the mother of every person in our class."

"Dude...," Brian said, glancing at me.

"104 - not counting mine," I told him, nodding. "It was just a stupid idea at the beginning. I was in a spiteful mood and your mom was pissed at your dad..."

"Rightfully so, he's a twat," Brian said without hesitation.

"So she got her old PTO list out, updated it, and we..."

"You started fucking everybody's moms?" he asked.

I nodded and said, "Yeah."

"How many...?"

"He's done 54 so far," Emily said.

"No shit?!"

"So... backtracking...," Emily continued. "He had already been with my mother when he stepped between Dad's fist and Mom's face."

"Fuck."

"Mom suddenly realized that the kid who'd been wearing the mask when she fucked him was the same kid who was now protecting her from her soon-to-be ex-husband."

"So, you already had history...?" he asked me.

I nodded and said, "Combined with me protecting her, she's become very attached."

He looked at Emily and asked, "You're... okay... with this? Obviously you are..."

"I intercepted your mother's email to my mom and discovered that Sam was the mysterious mom-fucker."

Brian laughed.

"I already had a crush on him," Emily told him. "I threatened to out him to the world if he didn't give me a chance."

"She seduced me, knowing that I would be hooking up with her mom a short time later," I told him.

"Kinky," he said, glancing from Emily to me.

"Oh, she's a little nymph," I told him.

I glanced at Emily.

She lowered her voice and leaned forward.

"I have this... thing...," she said. I like to taste his... uh... conquests when he comes back home."

Brian's eyes swelled like he'd been punched.

I laughed.

He glanced at April, behind me.

"Yeah, me too," she said. "It's kind of our thing. We also kind of take care of Alissa since she won't let Sam."

"Holy shit...," Brian said quietly.

"Work together, play together...," I said, nodding.

"... and you're fucking everybody's mom on the side?" he asked incredulously.

"It's been... interesting," I said, nodding.

"Dude, that's... I don't have words..."

"Yeah, well, he nearly got his ass killed the other day - and that wasn't even one of the mom's on his list. It was the judge that kept getting my dad off when he was doing stupid shit like violating mom's Order of Protection."

"Fuck, dude!"

"So, needless to say," Emily told him, "we watch his back."

"And Mom... manages this... list?" he asked.

"She's basically my pimp," I told him. "I used to wear a Ninja Turtles mask. Now I've got these Men in Black glasses - with a camera that syncs to my phone. I live-stream it so the girls can watch."

"That was the only thing that saved his life a couple weeks ago," Emily said.

Brian looked at me.

"Chloroform on a handkerchief and a Taser to the back of my skull..."

"Fuck, man - and that shit didn't scare you off?"

"He was pissed at his wife - and me - but then admitted that he'd been sleeping around on her and didn't have any real reason to be mad. They're in marriage counseling."

"That's some crazy ass shit, dude!"

"Like I said, it's been interesting."

"Interesting enough to keep you going back? You sound like you're addicted."

"The video of him with the two cops is epic," Emily said.

"Cops?" Brian asked.

"Liam Bailey and Dan King's mothers," Emily told him. "They're a couple now I think - although I guess they're technically bisexuals since they've been with Sam more than once."

Brian looked over at me.

"Handcuffs, aggressive body search,..."

"That almost makes it sound worth the risk...," he said, grinning. "Any tuna twats?"