PREFACE
Two months ago my father, Dr. Eberhard Wormwood, passed away of a severe and sudden heart attack. Being his only progeny and living relative, except for Uncle Willy (my mother passed away years ago), I took on the chore of settling his financial affairs, sorting through volumes of personal and professional letters and papers, and closing his psychiatric practice. That endeavor led me to the discovery of his personal diary; and that revelation led me to the soul-shattering epiphany that I had never really known my father - only a carefully crafted, full-body mask which was nothing more
than 'a paper moon, sailing over a cardboard sea.'
Wisteria Wormwood
CLOSURE
It was two months since the funeral. Uncle Willy had been a great help to Wisteria and they sat in her father's oak paneled office to the rear of his modest but very private Scarborough estate. The shelves and shelves of medical case books remained untouched. The furniture and leather therapy couch remained dust free but undisturbed. The contents of his filing cabinets, except for one which was locked with no key insight, were reviewed but completely intact.
Wisteria sat brooding, but remembered the good times the three of them had had. She and Uncle Willy and her father met at least once a week for dinner in midtown and she remembered how she'd tease her uncle mercilessly by flashing glimpses of cleavage his way whenever her father wasn't looking. It was a little game they'd both enjoyed for years, but now it seemed about to end – as though a heavy steel door had suddenly swung shut. Uncle Willy was seven years younger than her father, and Wisteria was seven years younger than her uncle, so their age disparity was inconsequential and rarely mentioned. She glanced over at her uncle, sitting motionless and reflective across her father's massive desk.
Whatever there may have been between them had always been contained - rolled up in a scroll and sealed with the wax of decency, respect and fear. As Wisteria grew from a beautiful child to a vivacious teen to a sumptuous young woman, her physical attributes hardly escaped the lecherous eye of her handsome uncle. But likewise, his hard athletic body, when compared to the flabby, unkempt torsos of her numerous admirers, became increasingly attractive as her years progressed. And she never failed to sit at his side during long motor rides, or sit at his knee when he told his army stories, or play her little flashing game whenever possible. The organic ripeness of her supple body often interrupted his train of thought with an unconsciousness hardening in his groin. She would often feel his penetrating gaze and sexual thirst, and frequently dreamed of him devouring her forbidden fruit. But never had either of them verbalized their mutual secret desires – out of respect for Eberhard – beloved father and trusted brother.
William broke the solemn silence, with a strong baritone harmonic.
"It's time you thought about a family, Wisteria. The years are flying by. Why no dotting husband to share the ride? Pick a young, strapping beau and tie him up."
His tone was light and casual. But the question hit one of her few raw nerves and the truth came spilling out.
"I've been saving all my love for you, Uncle William."
There was no smile to soften the blow. There was no wink to lighten the delivery – no more childhood nicknames. Wisteria leaned forward on both elbows, exposing a huge swell of pulsating bosom and left her uncle stunned, with absolutely no wiggle room. She had checked the king and in her mind he had only one possible move.
Uncle Willie rose slowly and deliberately, bolted the door to the reception area from the inside, and returned to the chair facing his sultry ward.
"Wisteria, during the past two months I have shared every family story with you that I could remember. I've told you all the good things your father did, and all the harmless pranks he loved to spring. I've told you all of the family secrets we've had locked in the closet for many, many years..."
His niece nodded her head in appreciation.
"Except for one... One big one."
William crouched forward then stood before the ingénue. Her eyes had opened wide and wonder now replaced her steamy reverie.
"Did your father ever tell you why they named him Eberhard?"
"No, I don't think so – not that I recall."
William leaned over the desk and picked up the stub of a warn pencil.
"Well it seems that when your father was born, he emerged from his mother's womb with a tiny, but full blown erection."
Wisteria blinked, then began to laugh hysterically. The image that formed in her mind of a little baby stroking a raging hardon made her forget her forlorn circumstances.
"Uncle William! What a thing to say! I mean, about my own father!"
"And there's something else, Wisteria. All Wormwood men share the same curse."
Uncle Willie said no more but began to unbuckle his belt as Wisteria's eyes widened. When his trousers were loose he dropped them to the floor with his boxers with a grand flourish. In the fading afternoon light, she gasped at the sight of a leathery, blood red fire hose hanging down between his legs, at least twice the size of anything she had ever seen before – except in the movies.
"My God! It's huge! Jesus Uncle William, it's a monster!"
William raised his pants, tucked in his shirt and sat back down.
"Your father was two inches bigger. He had the largest cock I've ever seen."
An erotic cloud of shock and awe settled over the stately office. An emotional roller coaster ride was just beginning. Wisteria slumped back in her chair, trying to reconcile her memories of father with these new revelations. But the task was impossible. They were two different men, two different persons, and she only knew one of them. Finally her head cleared. She stood slowly but very erect, walked around to her uncle and faced him resolutely as he stood.
"Unbutton my blouse, William."
