Perhaps my earliest memory was seeing my father walking down the hall late at night in a zombie-like state. Every night I would hear strange noises in the hall, and being a curious child, one night I decided to investigate. I got up and walked over to my bedroom door and stealthily opened it a crack. There was my tall handsome athletic father walking slowly down the hallway as if in a trance. His eyes were open, but he was unseeing.
My mother came out of their bedroom in her silky lacey nightgown and followed silently close behind him. When daddy got to the top of the staircase, my mother touched his arm. Slowly he turned and gazed through her. His hand came up and began stroking the fabric of her nightgown. Then when he had tightly clutched the silky material, my mother began to back down the hall to their bedroom. He followed her, not seeming to know where he was going or what he was doing. Then my mother would close the bedroom door, and I would get back into my own bed wondering what I had just witnessed.
I guess I was about ten years old, when my mother took me aside one day to explain everything to me.
"If you ever get up at night to go to the bathroom, and you see your father in the hall, you must be very quiet. Don't say a word."
"Why not?" I questioned.
"Daddy has a medical condition," she explained. "Somnambulism. Sleepwalking. He walks in his sleep."
"He walks in his sleep?" I laughed. "That's silly. You can't walk in your sleep."
"Some people walk in their sleep," mommy explained. "And you must be very, very careful not to wake them. It could be very dangerous. They could have a heart attack and die. And we don't want daddy to die, do we?"
"No," I agreed. I certainly did not want my daddy to die. My heart fluttered inside my chest. I felt fear. I loved my daddy so much. I had to be very careful never to wake him.
"So remember," mommy emphasized. If you ever see daddy walking in his sleep, remember. Don't wake daddy. Promise me?"
"I promise," I said, and crossed my heart.
In those days, mommy and daddy loved each other so much. Every day was like Christmas or a birthday. He was always bringing home presents for mommy. Beautiful packages. But it's funny. He always bought the same thing. Never flowers or candy. Never jewelry. Never perfume. Mommy would open the box and pretend to be surprised. "What a beautiful nightgown." She would lift the negligee and hold it in front of her. "Oh, Lance. Such a beautiful nightgown," she would always say.
"I can't wait to see it on you," he would always say. Then he would start feeling the fabric. He really loved nightgowns.
"Look, Kenny," Mommy would say to me. "Isn't this a beautiful nightgown daddy bought mommy?"
"Yes," I would answer.
"Come over here, Kenny," Daddy would say. "Feel mommy's nightgown." I would start running my fingers over it. "Isn't that silky. Doesn't that feel nice?" Daddy would ask me.
"Yes," I would agree. It felt nice, all right, but not that great.
As the years went on, however, I could see that my mother was tiring. Every night she would be up walking the halls with him. Making sure he didn't wake up, didn't bump into a wall, didn't fall down the stairs. Every night she would touch daddy's arm, and he would latch on to her nightgown, and blindly follow her as she led him back into their bedroom and closed the door.
"I'm so tired," mommy would complain to me. "I haven't had a decent night's sleep in years. Every night I have to watch your father, and stay with him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. I wish I could have a vacation. I need a vacation so badly."
"Mommy. Take a vacation," I said. I was eighteen now. A young man. I felt that I could handle things.
"No. No. That wouldn't work," she said.
"Why not?" I was so naive.
"Well, even though your father is asleep, he has a certain routine he follows."
"I could follow it. Just tell me what to do," I said.
"No you couldn't follow it," she said. "Don't ask me to explain. Your father likes to know that I'm near him, even in his sleep." But I could see that she was mulling over what I had suggested.
"Oh," I said, thinking that daddy could really get along on his own for a couple of weeks as long as I was there to make sure he didn't fall down the stairs.
"Also," mommy continued. "Your bedroom is down the hall. How would you even know when he was up walking?"
I didn't know the answer to that one. It was a hard one. Of course I had been waking up for years just as he started his promenade. I had seen this spectacle almost every night for most of my life. But suppose I didn't wake up at just the right time one night? Suppose daddy got to the top of the stairs and fell down the long flight, and was killed? But mommy looked so tired. She really needed a break. I thought and I thought Suddenly I got this insane idea. "I could tie bells around his ankle," I suggested.
"I could tie bells around his ankle," I repeated. It was such a great idea. I was really excited with my own brilliance. "Then when daddy got up and started walking I would hear the jingling, and I would wake up and help him back to bed."
"You would wake up?" She asked. It was an interesting idea. If I could be trusted to make sure daddy stayed safe.....she might just consider a trip to Florida. To lie on the beach all day. To sleep all night. Fast asleep all night long. I could see her pondering the idea. It was appealing.
"I would definitely wake up," I promised. "Don't worry. I'll make sure nothing happens to daddy. Get on the Internet. Book a flight. Book a hotel. Everything will be fine."
Mommy weighed the pros and cons and made a decision. She smiled at me gratefully. She told daddy of our plan. He agreed to wear a circle of bells around his ankle when he went to sleep. He even went out and bought them. He knew mommy was tired and needed a rest. He felt guilty that she had had to watch him all these years every night. But what could he do? He was a sleepwalker and there was nothing he could do about it.
"Don't worry, honey," he said to mommy. "Kenny here will handle everything just fine. You'll watch out for me. Won't you, son?"
"I sure will, dad," I swore. "I'll take real good care of you."
"Oh I love you guys," my mom said. She hugged first my father, then me, as she started to cry.
"Just have a great vacation," my father told her.
We drove her to the airport and kissed her good-bye as she went through security. We waved and waved. She turned around and blew kisses. I could see she was crying. My father and I drove home. He put the car in the garage and went into the living room to watch television. I went into the kitchen and began to reheat the dinner mommy had left for us in the refrigerator. Macaroni and cheese.