The whole disaster began when Rebecca woke up and felt a lump in her throat. She had arrived in Malaysia the day before and was scheduled to perform at a wedding later that morning. The hot shower she hoped would make her feel better, didn't. She was definitely sick!
Private singing gigs were never really her thing. But in the twilight of her career as a pop singer, lucrative opportunities were few and far between. The heiress to a wealthy Malaysian banking family had offered her big bucks and she gladly accepted.
Now, the whole event was in jeopardy and she was panic-stricken. The extravagant wedding would lose much of its luster without her performance. It would truly be disastrous if she pulled out now.
It was 6:43 a.m. and she was pacing back and forth in the suite's generous living area, dressed only in a thin silk robe.
"Something wrong?" James asked.
Her son had just woken up, and immediately noticed her agitation when he entered the living area. He was on spring break from college and accompanied her on the trip.
"I think I'm sick." Rebecca was horrified when she heard the rasp in her voice.
"Oh God, what are you going to do?"
Rebecca pursed her lips. "I'll have to let them know I might not be able to perform. The sooner the better, so other arrangements can still be made for the entertainment."
"That's probably the best way forward."
Her heart filled with dread as she called the wedding planner, who was staying in the same hotel. This was the first time Rebecca had ever canceled a performance. Not only did it deeply wound her pride, it would also be a huge financial loss.
***
Ling, the fierce young wedding planner, rushed over to Rebecca's suite, already dressed and ready for the busy day ahead. James waited in his room while Rebecca explained everything to Ling.
"I apologize profusely," Rebecca croaked, as they sat together on the couch. "I'm sure there are plenty of quality singers in Malaysia who could still be booked, even at this late stage."
Ling sternly shook her head. "Please understand, this family wants you because you are famous, Caucasian, American and western. In our society, western performers are held in high regard. Although this is a traditional Malaysian wedding, there are still many western influences. Your appearance is the ultimate status symbol."
She understood Ling's frustration. The importance of her performing at the wedding was emphasized during the negotiations that took place before she agreed to take the gig. Why else would a wealthy Malaysian family pay so much for her appearance? It was heartbreaking that she'd probably have to let them down, especially since the bride was a longtime fan.
Rebecca was at a loss. "Maybe if I drink enough tea with honey, my vocal cords will relax enough for me to be able to perform"
"My mother is a herbalist. I'll give her a call."
Ling reached for her phone.
"Could she help with a sore throat and hoarse voice?"
"My mother can help with anything," Ling replied confidently. "But her methods are highly traditional. They have been passed down through many generations. Some are quite unorthodox by your western standards."
Rebecca squawked. "I'm open to anything."
"Please wait, I will call her now."
Ling hurriedly made the emergency call. Unlike her super-efficient daughter, Ling's mother was still sleeping, but was glad for the wake-up call from her beloved daughter. They spoke for a few minutes in Malay, and it appeared as though the herbal healer was giving detailed advice.
Ling used her fingers to touch Rebecca's throat, apparently at her mother's direction.
"Any lumps?" Ling asked. "Soreness? Do your tonsils feel swollen?"
Rebecca gulped. "All of the above."
Ling relayed the message to her mother. They spoke for a few more minutes. It appeared several recommendations would be forthcoming.
"We have a solution," Ling said solemnly, after she had ended the call. "But you may not like it. As I've stated, my mother is a traditional herbalist. Her treatment may seem unusual to westerners."
Rebecca sat upright and cleared her throat. "I've always kept an open mind regarding health and healing practices. It doesn't scare me."
"Ingesting something with balanced nutritional properties can be used to improve your condition. As western research has recently confirmed, a sample of male semen has the right blend of nutrients and protein needed to alleviate your symptoms ."
Rebecca raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, something must have been lost in translation. Did you just say..."
"Yes, semen. Or 'cum' as you call it in the west."
She was serious! The fact that Ling made her suggestion with a straight face made it even more comical. The only thing Rebecca could do was try and maintain her composure. After all, Ling was well known in the industry and could recommend Rebecca for more lucrative job opportunities in Asia.
"How about I first try some medicine?" Rebecca asked, then coughed. "Surely an assistant could grab something over-the-counter for me?"
"Rebecca, I would like for you to host and perform at the wedding. Giving you medicine might make you drowsy and diminish the intensity of your performance."
"So my only option is... semen?"
Rebecca tried her best to sound serious even though she found the idea to be ludicrous. It was utterly insane but she didn't want to offend her employer. Semen, as a cure for laryngitis? Nonsense!
"Yes, and that's not all," Ling said. "My mother also recommended a method to minimize the swelling of your vocal cords. It involves easing an object with a cylindrical shape down your throat."
"What kind of object?" Rebecca was completely confused.
"If you do decide on the semen treatment, my mother suggests a penis. Your saliva should provide more than enough lubrication. The semen's healing properties will produce amazing results."
Rebecca was still shocked that Ling would suggest such a thing with a straight face. Were customs really so different around the world? Or was Ling's uninhibited style a product of being raised by a herbalist mother.
"You realize this 'cure' is actually oral sex, right?" Rebecca asked as nicely as possible.
Ling was unfazed. "American women perform this act all the time. Are you saying you've never done it?"
Mild hostility radiated off Ling, as if annoyed by this conversation.
Rebecca sighed softly. "Of course I have, but..."
"Is there a problem? We are paying you a lot of money, which I'm sure you appreciate. It's not easy for us to bring a western woman of your stature here. If you do well, we
will
hire you for future jobs, and the fact that you performed at this high-profile wedding will allow you to command an even higher fee. Think about that before you reject my proposal."