Like most women, I like to keep a diary, noting down day to day events as they happen so that they jog my memory or allow me at a future date, to remember special occurrences. Mine is nowadays kept online, away from the prying eyes of my husband and family and documents episodes in my life and my thoughts. It is something I have done since I was young, back then, they were actual diaries, unfortunately, they had to be destroyed years ago, for fear of implicating people that I loved. This is not my complete diary, more or less extracts from it, as nobody wants to read the normal rubbish we females tend to write.
Dear Diary
Thu 2
nd
Dec 2021:
The decision has been made. After last year's imprisonment, Tom, and I are heading south this year to spend the festivities with mostly his family. In the past, we would visit regularly, but it is now three years since we last went down. The pandemic coupled with our age has had an impact with neither of us looking forward to the six-hour journey from where we live in the north.
This weekend I phoned Doris, Tom's sister, and she is going to look in at the apartment and make sure it is aired before we arrive. We bought it years ago and used to use it often when we visited. Its location is perfect, set back several hundred yards on the opposite side of the road from the cliff edge and the beach below, it has great views out to sea. Nowadays we allow friends and family to use it or even let it out occasionally for holidays, even though we are not supposed to. Perhaps the time is coming when we sell it. With us both getting on, I can't see us getting much more use out of it sadly.
I spent all of Friday wrapping presents that need to go with us as well as washing and ironing. Can never tell what the weather will be like or where we may get invited to, so a range of clothing is needed. Hate this part of the run-up to Christmas, so much to do before the big day. It's only five more days before we head south, hope the weather stays mild for us while we make the journey. Once we are there it can do what it likes. A couple of stops on the motorway and splitting the driving between us will make the journey easier.
Sun 19
th
Dec 2021:
Early start in the morning so I'm scribbling this before we turn in. Tom's doing the driving on the first leg of the journey and I'll do the second. It's safer that way, the closer he gets to his origins, the faster he drives. A pensioner at his age doing ninety on the motorway isn't the best combination.
Here at last. Despite it being three years, everywhere looks the same. Cases are unpacked and we had our first brews before friends and family started to call. It proved to be a hectic day with a constant parade of people coming and going Went out for a meal that evening, it seems over the years to have become a ritual on the day we arrive, everyone wanting to say their hellos and catch up on any gossip.
Wow! Andrew our grandson called around today to say hello. His mother Janet, our daughter, married a young bloke in the forces and when he came out they settled down south near Tom's family. I've known Andrew all of his life and on our frequent trips down I've watched him grow up. He's twenty-two now and suddenly seems to have gone from an awkward teenager to a handsome young man. He is, I've decided, a bit of a flirt, Tom was nipping out to see one of his brothers and my grandson invited me out for a walk, just a short stroll along the cliff tops. Despite the milder weather, it was a bit blustery and I ended up taking his arm. It's funny how comfortable and thrilling it felt to be on the arm of this young man. At one point we stopped to gaze out to sea and he stood behind me to shield me from the chilly offshore breeze as I snuggled in against him and felt his arms around my waist. It was all perfectly innocent I told myself, except I noticed the slight bulge down below as we parted and headed back to the apartment. I hadn't been able to feel anything because of the bulk of my coat, but it appeared that he'd enjoyed having me close to him. Now I wouldn't say I do anything out of the ordinary to keep myself fit, although I do like walking. Yes, I'm getting on a bit but I'm still slim and all the bits are still in the right place, and in good working order, even if some do tend to sag nowadays. Surely he couldn't be finding me interesting in that way?
Thoughts on yesterday. It felt strange but also exciting as I wonder if I was turning my grandson on. He knows nothing much about my previous life, other than what his grandfather can tell him, and that's very little. I've told plenty of little white lies over the years.
I began an incestuous relationship many, many years ago, first with a cousin and then moved on to my brothers. You could say I've been around the block quite a few times, but it was exciting and fun and I have never once regretted what I've done. I've been married several times and had more than my fair share of affairs, but for quite a few years now, I have behaved myself. Whatever it is, something about that walk yesterday has ignited old desires!!!
Tom and I had a drive out to drop the presents off to different members of his family ready for tomorrow and have a catchup with the relatives. We are all meeting at Janet's tomorrow for Christmas lunch, unfortunately, Andrew was out today when we called so I missed seeing him. Janet said she needed to speak to us while we are down here, but said it will wait until after Christmas is over.
Sat 25
th
Dec 2021 Christmas Day:
What a day, I'm exhausted as well as pissed. You must excuse the handwriting diary. The morning and afternoon were excellent even if it was a little boozy. Andrew of course was there and I've decided that he is a naughty boy. He started plying me with drinks the moment Tom and I arrived. Lunch was a splendid affair if somewhat noisy and I ate far too much. Andrew suggested a walk for a breath of fresh air mid-afternoon, to which everyone declined except muggins here.
