We lay in the dark holding each other. Sometimes it crossed my mind that maybe this might seem a little weird to other people. We weren't kids anymore but still even in our twenties, we would steal every opportunity to be close to one another. My concerns were diluted by the reassuring sound of his steady heartbeat tapping against my ear as I snuggled into his chest.
I felt him inhale the sweet smell of my hair as he gently caressed the small of my back. I'd never told him how I felt about him and I had never acted on it.
I'd watched him progress into a handsome young man and noted that he had still maintained his boyish smile. The one that could heal any ailment I ever had.
It's true that all girls love a bad boy and Chris always liked to fashion himself as a bit of a gangster. He done a lot of things I didn't agree with, but we never had it easy and he had figured out the one thing he was a natural at. I'd heard a lot of stories but I was never really sure how much to believe because Chris always played them down to me. I knew a lot of what I'd heard must be true, a lot of people where scared of him. There was just something other people seen in him, some sinister sparkle, a dark kind of power. To me though, he had never done a single wrong. He always smiled at me with a concealed admiration and I never seen him look at anyone else that way.
He was my protector, my soul mate, my confident and I, I was his younger sister.
I slowly slid my leg upwards until my knee came to rest just below his waist. I could feel his cock was semi-stiff against my inner thigh. The tight white material of his designer boxers provided the only barrier between us. He shuffled, ever so slightly and placed his hand on my knee. This wasn't unusual, at least not for us. He was always hard when we lay like this and we both just pretended not to acknowledge it.
Lately, I'd gotten more adventurous. I'd made sure I was wearing black lace panties and a tight little vest, one that would extenuate the shape of my tits.
I stroked his stomach softly back and forth. I wanted to reassure him, reassure him that he shouldn't feel uncomfortable about us lying so intimately close but, how could I? I was already feeling guilty about how much I was enjoying his cock grow harder as I moved my leg down a little to rest lightly against it. There was a burning heat already building between us and I could feel our skin becoming moist against each other.
The dull ache between my legs led me to raise my knee up to his waist again, a subtle excuse to press my pussy against the top of his leg. He arched his back; it momentarily allowed him to push his cock closer between my legs.
I wondered if he could feel the dampness from my panties against his skin. I tried to imagine what he might do if I just reached into his boxers and ran my hand over his cock, or what if I casually lay on top of him to hold him, to have his cock pressed right between my legs. Would we inevitably begin to rock against each other until he finally pulled my panties to one side and slipped inside me? Or, would we just go on like this forever, never taking that extra step for anything more to happen?
I became lost in my thoughts and let out a deep sigh.
'What's wrong?' he asked tilting his head to look at me despite the darkness.
'Nothing,' I whispered, realising the reality of the situation.
He pushed me onto my side and turned to hold me so as we were facing each other.
'Then why the sigh?' he asked softly.
'I'm ok,' I assured.
He held me more firmly but still as though I was something precious and fragile he didn't care to break. I moved closer against him until there was no space between us and his hard-on was right against me.
We pulled away from each other, almost in unison but just enough so as we could see each others expression. The pail moonlight from the window illuminated his eyes enough for me to see that they held a sparkle. Was it because he was still pressed against me?
I think we pretended to have this little illusion of each other. He was my unfaltering hero, and I was his innocent maiden whose rescue he would always come to. We both ignored all the stories about each other because we liked playing these roles, but it didn't mean the stories weren't true.
A part of him wanted to hear me beg him to fuck me, and the other part of him could hardly bear the thought of me doing anything sexual. Likewise, I admired him for being the only person never to hurt me or betray my trust and yet, at the same time, here I lay, secretly yearning for him to hold me down and fuck me roughly and relentlessly with one hand over my mouth.
The fact was we were terrified about letting go, terrified about how we would look at each other afterwards, after we ruined our charade.
Strands of his thick black hair fell across this brow. I brushed them to one side so that I could continue staring deeply into his eyes. They were darker than coal and probably his most stunning asset. It was easy to imagine why he had no problem getting so many women to fuck him. He smiled, I had interrupted his thoughts and we grinned at each other, never daring to tear our gaze away.
A sudden pang of concern flooded his face.
'She wasn't good enough for you,' he said suddenly.
He was talking about my ex girlfriend. We had split a month before. I'd found out she'd been having an affair behind my back but I hadn't told Chris this because I was scared about what he might do. Instead I'd told him it just hadn't been working out. Earlier tonight he'd caught me crying and had cancelled his date just to stay in and make sure I was alright. He hadn't asked why I'd been crying but he just knew.
'Do you think it's me? Do you think there's something wrong with me?' I asked.
'What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with you.'
'I just mean that it never works out with my relationships. So maybe it's just something to do with me.' I said half joking.
His expression suddenly hardened and the softness in his voice was lost now, replaced by a firm authority, almost anger.
'She was a fucking idiot and I told you that from the start.'
He sensed my unease with his tone of voice and his expression softened again.
'Don't put yourself down, it's her loss,' he said quietly.
I could tell he was still pissed off about her even although he was trying hard not to show it. He looked down and out of my eye line.
