This is a fantasy. If you've read any of my previous works, you'll note the recurring lake theme. The author retains all copyrights.
*
There is no word to describe how beautiful she is in my eyes. I knew other men found her beautiful as well. She is a petite size four or five, about five feet two inches tall, slightly dark skinned because of her Asian blood. Her face is oval, dark Asian eyes gleam with life. Her tiny nose is perfectly centered above a full mouth with soft lips meant for passionate kissing. Her long black hair frames her face as it cascades down her back to the small of her back. She is athletic having strong broad shoulders from years of martial arts. Her arms are toned but not bulging with muscles. Her torso is broad in the chest and narrow to a slim waist. Her petite size is evident in her breasts measuring 34A, firm, resting proudly on her chest. Her hips are firm from exercise. Her butt is taught, full, shapely, filling her tight jeans with a wonderful silhouette. Her legs are toned as her arms, good definition but not heavily muscled. When I am around her, my eyes scan her taking in every sweet view.
She is not unfamiliar with the advances of men. She had many boy friends since high school. I knew she was intimate with a couple boy friends, yet she was not openly sexual with them unless she felt secure in a relationship. She lived with a couple of her boy friends in recent years and never considered marriage. She had no idea I knew this; however, I once heard her giving herself pleasure when she thought I was asleep, from that experience, I know she is vocal during sex crying out during orgasm.
Now, she is 28 years old and not involved with a man. Recently, she has begun spending more time with me on weekends when she isn't busy with medical studies. These weekends are quiet, just she and I talking and laughing over stories from her past. Sometimes we snuggle, sometimes we sit across from one another as we talk. We watch movies, walk around the lake, or help each other with chores, cooking, and cleaning. We were comfortable with each other and had no desire to advance our relationship.
Even when we snuggled, her body tightly entwined with mine, I never had an urge to "feel" where I shouldn't. We had security in our relationship that I didn't want to loose. We have always been close, she often told me things that were her deepest thoughts and feelings. I learned over the years that she has an emotional side that is easily hurt. Sometimes she asked for my thoughts and often she needed me to just listen and hold her.
On this particular weekend, I noticed her demeanor was a little different, yet I wasn't going to pry. I knew she would tell me what she wanted to tell me when she wanted to tell. Since it was a drizzling cool afternoon at the lake, we stayed inside, had a simple lunch of soup and salad, cleaned up, and went about our causal conversation.
"Let's have some hot tea," she suggested, knowing that I kept several brands. She put on water to boil, selected a loose leaf green tea, filled the tea ball, and took out cups.
"This must be a thinking weekend since you are being very quiet." That was as far as I was going to pry, I opened the door for her to know that I felt her distance.
She turned and smiled but no words accompanied the smile. The water boiled and she dipped the tea ball into the pot and poured water over it. The tea steeped for a couple minutes as she pulled out a plate putting a few tea cakes on it. You might guess she was British in her tea making and that probably came from time she spent on a couple islands of the British Commonwealth.
We sat at the dining table to sip our tea and eat the tiny cakes. After several sips, she opened a bit, "I'm feeling awkward this weekend. I'm not sure what I'm feeling, conflicted, confused. I'm actually glad its raining today, fits my gray mood."
I reached across the table and cupped her hand in mine. "You can tell me if you want or we can just be the other's silent company." Still, not prying, the next step in the conversation was hers.
"Its not easy to explain. I like being with you, spending all this time together, being open and honest. You don't criticize me, you encourage me, you hold me when I need to be close to you. It is a loving relationship that I want from a man but can't find the one who gives me what you give. I love you like I shouldn't." She was hanging her head as if waiting for me begin explaining why she shouldn't feel that way. I knew I should respond that way and knew that response would be wrong for this moment.
I was both surprised by her confession and comforted by it, as I held similar unexpressed feelings. I remained silent, sipped my tea as I tried to form the right words for the response she was waiting to hear. I noticed a tear roll down her cheek and splatter on the table. "You are afraid to hear me reply aren't you?" She nodded ever so slightly as another tear emerged from her eye.
Cautiously, I began forming my thoughts into words. "You know," I began, "we have a long history of feelings. I watched you grow into the lovely woman you are today. I know about your loves and lovers. I always enjoy listening to your problems, concerns, and cares. We have a mental, subliminal connection. I knew you had something to talk about when you came through the door. Part of you was here and another part just arrived. I can't stop you having the feeling you're having; I won't stop you either."
Her head rose on hearing my last line. "What do you mean you won't stop me having my feelings?"
"I will not discourage your feelings, I will not attempt to explain them away, I will not reject your feelings."
Again she asked a what do you mean question, "What do you mean won't reject them. If you won't reject them, do you mean you accept them?"
"I've accepted you all your life, I accept your feelings of love as well. And, if you want, I'll return them in full measure. Because, you see, I love you in a manly way."
I could see one tension release in her as another built. It was very likely this new tension was sexual. We have never explored this part of our lives. Now we had to come to grip with this evolution in our lives.
**********
She came into my life when she was 19 months old and I being 35 years old. She was an orphan and I adopted her. We moved back to the U.S. when she was three. I raised her as my daughter, watched her bloom, helped her through those strange years of puberty, becoming a woman. I never put harsh rules on her, rather talked to her about right and wrong, let her make mistakes, and then helped her understand what was wrong in her decisions; she made fewer wrong decisions than right decisions.
She went to college almost free. There were athletic scholarships, academic scholarships, and tuition assistance from the university as I was an administrator. After college, she left home volunteering for a foreign aide position. Coming home, she began her working career, having adult relationships, living with a couple boy friends, breaking up and moving on.
