Mar. 27/09
My dearest smutty is asleep in her bed, about fifteen feet away while I sit at her makeup desk with my laptop to write this. It's been a bit of a hair raising night, all in all, and after we were done our playtime with one another and fell asleep, I woke up almost two hours later and stayed awake. Figured I may as well write.
We went to
Gulliver's
again, that sports restaurant she'd discovered and actually likes for some reason, where I had a coffee and Gina had a small meal. She'd picked me up right after her shift at
Jaybirds,
the dark clouds in the sky that obscured what remained of the daylight reinforcing my leaden mood. It just settled in about halfway through the day when I thought of spending the evening and tomorrow with her but, unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of talking about the problem, do I? So, I had to put on a brave face. The worst part is how I have no right to enjoy the great time I always have with her.
We did some light shopping and saw a movie. After that, we came here to her place and spent a little time online playing with master dragoneye's little mind and getting a great kick out of it.
"I gotta say, there
is
something to all this BDSM crap that I like," I commented as we watched him play with himself on his cam.
"Like what?"
" ... The control aspect."
"Well, duh! That's what it's all about," Gina laughed.
"It's more than just that, though. Imagine if you actually had someone that you could rely on to take care of you. Someone who could make you know what a good little helper you are, someone who's actually worth serving and taking care of in return, kinda like the Gorean chickies do. Someone who's in control."
"Well, I wouldn't be too quick to run to this one's arms, if I were you, she advised.
"God, no! This one's a pathetic loser. Besides, a real man, a true Master would never need to run around calling himself that, or invent some stupid, self aggrandizing title, he'd just be what a man is supposed to be,... with nothing to prove."
"So," Gina replied with an interested smile, "You're not into all the bondage and stuff?"
"Who says I'm not into bondage? I don't think I'd want to be treated like some submissives, being whipped and humiliated and all that crazy stuff, but tied and spanked sounds pretty nice."
Obviously, I have an aversion to being tied up," she explained, "but I know what you mean. You know, men who like to assert control for the sake of it have serious inferiority and insecurity issues. Take this worm, give him half the chance and he'll have you staying up three days in a row just to see if you will, I've seen it. But now look at him, so desperate for our attention he's willing to do almost anything if he thinks it pleases a couple of beautiful lesbians who like to hang around topless on cam."
"Yeah, I pretty much got that," I said, glancing at him and back at Gina, adding, "Most of the so-called dominants on here are so far from being real men, they're not even boys."
"Not even girls."
"Worms, like you said."
"Yep, with bloated egos that blind them to the reality of what they really are."
"Quite pathetic, really," I noted.
"Totally. But, tell me this: Even though you're clearly the submissive type, does the idea of control for yourself not,... lure you at all?
"Hmmm,... maybe. But not in the way you might expect."
"Ooooh, do tell, slutty."
"Uh uh."
"Oh, come on!"
"You'd misunderstand."
"No, I wouldn't!"
"Yes, you would. I don't even understand it myself, it's just a weird little fantasy that means nothing."
"Fantasy, eh? ...
Weird,
eh? Tellmetellmetellmetellmetellme-"
"Alright! You know how I hate that!"
"Heh."
"Okay, this is just a fantasy, alright? It's not something I'd like to happen in reality, so you have to remember that."
"That's the thing about fantasy," Gina said. "You might enjoy the idea, or the thought of something, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't repel it with all you are in reality."
"Well,... let's hope you can remember that. ... I have this little fantasy of control where, um,... (giggle) where you're at the mercy of five men who do whatever I tell them to do with you."
" ... Uhh,... Oh. Oh, my."
"You asked."
"Yeah,... hey, you know that would be a horrible thing to do to me, right? I mean it wouldn't be like how it goes in porn, it would-"
"Smutty, if any man ever tried to force you to do anything, if anyone ever hurts you at all, I'll break their heads myself."
"
That
doesn't sound very submissive. Certainly reassuring, though, in light of your little fantasy," Gina said with a good natured smile.
"Well, before you feel too reassured; in the fantasy, it's the fact that you
don't
like it that makes it so good."
" ... Maybe I should start calling you,
Mistress Slutty?"
"You could do worse."
She laughed about this, but then said, "I'd like all the stuff you'd do, it wouldn't be as good for you."
"Yeah?" I asked with a devious grin, just before turning and grabbing her nipples, giving them a nice pinchytwist.
She screamed and laughed like I do when Daddy does it to me, not daring to try to rip my fingers away as I forced her down on the couch underneath me, still grinning deviously.
"Ahhhhhhhhh!! Slutty, STOOOOOOOOOOOPPP!!"
"(giggle!)
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, get off me you crazy little biiiith!! Ahhhhhhhhhh-haaaaaa-haaaaaaa!!"
After about fifteen seconds I let go, glancing around in time to see dragoneye frantically jerking himself as he watched our antics. Soon, her cries of pain and laughter turned into moans of pleasure as she held her boobies, still lying on the couch. I watched with an adoring smile as she enjoyed herself.
"Uhhh,... okay, I didn't like the first part, but that second part was,...
very
nice," Gina finished with a giggle.
With my superkitten voice, I accused, "You're a very smutty woman,
Gina!"
giggling afterward.
" ... Fuck, I love when you do that. Do it again."
"I wanna lick your wet
pussy
."