I woke up the next morning wondering if what I remember from last night was a bad dream, or did it really happen. Then I remembered the smell and sounds from last night and saw dried cum on my belly, I knew it was real. I sat on the edge of my bed stroking my morning erection, thinking about watching my dear mother with her thighs spread, and a strange man's cum oozing from her. What I recalled from last night was upsetting, and yet incredibly arousing.
I had watched an old girlfriend once participate in a gang bang. She had willingly complied with the wishes of some males at a party. I remember how she looked at me and said, "Matty, it's only sex, you know I love you,"
I watched from a dark corner as she took one cock after another. As she sucked cock after cock she would look at me and show me the load of cum that had just filled her mouth. The sounds of her moaning and begging to be fucked harder, begging for another cock was too much for me. I walked away from the party and out of her life. I just couldn't look at her any longer. I couldn't watch the girl I made love to, whom I trusted completely, being used by a number of horny men. The thought I had to share her with six other men was too overwhelming. I had heard she became addicted to being that girl, the girl who would take on any group of men who wanted to fuck her.
But, in those desperate moments when I really needed to cum, laying in my bed at night, naked and alone, that was the exact fantasy I relived. It became an obsession. I would recall the scenario of walking into the party and seeing all the other males looking at her and flirting. I felt so jealous of her reaction back at them. I watched as she allowed them to reach out and grab her bottom or cup her breasts. I was incredibly conflicted. I hated feeling jealous, feeling insecure about our love, but my cock was as hard as it had ever been. I would lie in bed many nights after I walked out fantasizing how she looked taking their cocks, her moans, and whimpers still echoing in my ears as I came. It was my favorite fantasy.
The soft knock on my bedroom door brought me out of the dark abyss where I always found my ultimate sexual satisfaction.
I heard my mother's voice, "Matty, Can I come in, can we talk?"
"Yeah Mom, give me a..." I said as she opened the door, forcing me to grab the sheet to cover my cock.
"Last night was..." she began.
I interrupted, "Yeah."
We both sat in silence for a few minutes. I think my mother thought it was a good idea to have a talk, but didn't know where to start. I looked over at her and her eyes were filled with tears, but her face was dry.
"Mom, we don't have to do this right now."
"I know, but last night got a little out of hand. I probably had one too many drinks and you know how I am when I have too many drinks, well maybe you don't know, but you do now." Mom said as she looked at her feet.
"It's okay Mom. We all act different when we reach our limit with alcohol."
I reached over and patted her knee, "It's really okay."
"I guess we tore down some walls last night", she said. "Do you think bad of me?"
I thought for a minute, reliving the gang bang memory for a fleeting moment and how it both hurt and aroused me.
"No, Mom I don't, I have conflicted thoughts though."
She looked at me with questioning eyes and once again bit her lip. "Will you tell me what they are?
I knew when she bit her lip, she was either hesitant, fearful, or planning her words carefully.
"Mom, I have seen you and Dad naked many times, but last night was just so sexual. And it brought back an avalanche of memories and emotions. Remember Rebecca? I dated her for about six months, a year or so ago."
I think I remember her, you didn't bring her by much did you?" Mom asked.
"No, I didn't.
Mom persisted, "Tell me, please tell me, Matty."
"She was that cute little redhead girl, remember you said she had a cute butt, and that's why I liked her."
My mom smiled and nodded.
"I guess some of my concern about last night is how Dad feels about this," I said.
My mother sat silent for a few seconds and then began, "Matty, your father and I have had a long battle over his job and travel. You know as well as I do, he's just not here, he's absent. And when he comes home on the weekend he's so relieved to be away from the grind of work, he does what he wants, which typically does not include me."
I watched as she looked the other way as if she was in another place. She was avoiding me, I knew she was upset.
"Mom, Mom...look at me. Please. I understand your feelings."
"No, no you don't. You only see me being the bitch, the whore, the slut." She said.
I hadn't seen my mother this animated for a long time, she was angry and lashing out. As she threw her arms out to the right and then left as if she were swinging to hit something, her robe opened, and her breast fell out, fully exposed. I tried not to stare, but I couldn't keep my eyes off her pert pink nipple. She saw my gaze and stood up, ripping her robe completely open as she stepped closer. Her hands grabbed her breasts and shoved them in front of me, almost touching my face.