Everyone having sex is at least 18. This is fiction, I made it all up. Warning: this is a self-edited story. I do use Grammarly to help reduce my ability to murder the English language. Special thanks to goducks1 for his help.
This started as a three-part story. My editor wasn't fond of my ending. I reworked the story and got carried away. 33,000 words later and there are now two bonus parts and an ending with more closure.
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Chapter 1 -- Recruiting
I hear mom on the phone, "Oh no. Oh no. Shit. No way. I am so sorry, I will be right over."
I question mom, "That didn't sound good. What's wrong?"
Mom snaps at me, "My good for nothing sister got into another car accident. She is in the hospital. She is ok, but she has a broken hip and they need to keep her at the hospital for a while. I have to go and see her! I hate that bitch!"
Why is she snapping at me? What did I do? It must be the 10-year anniversary thing. Ten yeas ago dad left us and started the breakup of our family.
I continue questioning, "I take it she isn't coming with us on the cruise then, huh? It's already Thursday and we leave Saturday morning."
Mom screams, "Damn that woman. Ok, fuck her. If you can find a friend of yours, they can come along. Everything but the plane ticket is free. I may kill my sister. It's bad enough you and your lesbian girlfriend are coming but now another of your friends. Maybe I should just stay home. This is going to ruin my vacation! Argggggggg!"
I wish she would. She is a real killjoy all the time.
Instead, me, being the good girl, I say, "Mom, you know you need this trip. You need to find someone and get laid. There will be lots of good-looking men around and with all the working out you do, you are still a hottie. I would fuck you."
My mom is hot looking. She spends a lot of time in the gym. Having a 38D chest doesn't hurt. She is tall with long legs like me. I am more athletic, but she is toned nicely. We both have a narrow face with long blonde hair and blue eyes. Mine are a deeper blue while hers are softer. She is a little heavier, giving her more curves to her sexy body. I would be considered skinny. I use makeup, mom doesn't bother. The biggest difference between us is I like women and she hates everyone. She is THE Ice Queen.
Mom gives me the bird as a parting hand gesture. She storms out of the house stomping her feet. Typical morning surly with a side of grouchy. Of course, if my husband left me for another man at my son's 6th-grade graduation in front of the entire town, then took all the combined family wealth and left the country, I might hate men as much as she does as well. It wasn't my fault.
That is her conundrum. If you are a woman that is anti-lesbian, hates men because of my dad, who is there to have sex with? It's no wonder she is mean and has had no sex in a decade. In a flash of brilliance, I know who to call. I start dialing. It's been a few years and I have been meaning to call for a while now. For me, that is two years.
John answers, "Hello?"
I surprise him, "Hey dude, what are you doing this next week starting Saturday?"
John asks, "Who is this?"
Irritated, "It hasn't been that long. I am your fucking sister, dumb ass."
John replies playfully, "Ok, attitude, demeaning, abusive, yes, that can only be my sister, I remember you now. Hi Lisa. I honestly never expected to hear from you two again. Mom made it painfully obvious how much she hates men and last I heard you have no use for people like me with a kickstand. I think I will go do a few things that are on the same level of fun like fighting a grizzly bear, running after poachers that shoot at me and putting out forest fires. Yup time with you two would be a barrel of laughs all right."
Am I that bad? I remember him as a happy go lucky geek. He fights grizzly bears, poachers, and fights forest fires. What the hell is he? I have no idea who my brother is. It has been too long I guess. All the more reason to convince him. How is he in such a good mood? Oh, that's right, he hasn't been around mom.
He has good reason to hate both of us. After dad's debacle, mom hated men and she made me hate them as well which was easy at the time. I always liked my brother and was sad when he left home a few years ago. I still picture him as a scrawny geeky kid that is smart with computers and plays video games rather than dating or thinking of women.
I am sure I sound rather sad, but I ask anyway, "I have been meaning to call you for a couple of years to say hi. I called because we have a suite on a cruise ship that sets sail on Saturday. Up to four people and one of the four WAS mom's sister. She got in an auto accident and is in the hospital. Mom would kill me if she knew I am inviting you but oh well. Maybe being her only son will thaw her frozen heart a bit. She has turned mean and bitter, I need help. This week marks the tenth anniversary of dad leaving her."
I hear him thinking.
John asks, "What ship are you on and are you sure this won't end with her hands around my neck again?"
Dejectedly I answer, "It's on the Sol and no. If it gets terrible, I will let you screw my girlfriend. She will do anything I tell her, and she likes guys, she goes both ways. Mom is angry all the time and still may hate you. I miss you and would like her to get over her issue and stop hating men. This is probably a horrible idea, but she can't make my life worse. Maybe with it being so long, we can try a relationship again. I would like that. At the very least, I can guarantee my friend to fuck you. I am useful, I can get you women."
John laughs hard at me.
While still laughing he says, "Oh don't worry about me. I do ok these days. I just finished fighting some fires, I have a bunch of overtime eating a hole in my wallet and two weeks of free time. If it gets too bad I will swim home. Only out of morbid curiosity am I agreeing to this. We will need an extra pillow and blanket."