All characters are at least 18 years old.
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My son was still gone when morning came. Nobody had called back with word from him, if my empty voicemail was anything to go by. His phone was missing, as was his schoolbag and a pair of his shoes. Evidently, he had stolen in at some point and taken what he needed for the day without disturbing me. He was avoiding me, but at least he was safe.
I sighed, still tired from restless sleep, and went to the common bathroom to get ready for the day. I had totally forgotten to schedule for somebody to fix my ensuite bathroom mirror and faucet, but in my defense, it had been an abnormal few days. I still felt sick with worry, not assuaged by the fact that Drew had fled to some girl's house. Stefan had described her as a mutual friend. I knew Stefan and Sabrina, and Drew's basketball teammates. Never had a Lexi Rochester come up in conversation. Or maybe she had, and it had seemed so inconsequential that I had let myself forget. Whoever she was, Drew trusted her more than he did Stefan. Did he finally have a girlfriend? If so, then why didn't I feel joy for him instead of unease?
I found myself at the office. It was one of those times where one's body goes on full autopilot, where even navigating through traffic can be shunted off to your instincts so that your conscious mind can focus on the matter at hand. Sometimes it can end up feeling quite surreal.
"Holy hell, Coco."
I pulled myself out of the reverie to watch as Jazz, who had apparently been walking past the elevators, detoured to come fetch me. I had just been standing on the spot, zoned out. She took one look at the dark circles under my eyes and winced, taking me by the arm and dragging me to our desks.
"That bad, huh?" she murmured. "Listen, I'm sorry. I was just trying to look out for you, that's all. Did he try to force you into something?"
Leon. She was talking about Leon, I reminded myself.
"No, everything was fine," I replied airily. "I mean, it didn't work out, but the date was fine. Complete gentleman, like you said."
Jazz ushered me into my cubicle, where she sat me down on my chair and squatted in front of me. "Coco, it's alright. You can tell me." She looked deadly serious. "Whatever he told you so you keep your mouth shut, it's illegal. If he did any damn thing to you, you bet we gonna git his ass."
Christ, she thought Leon had raped me and then threatened my job or something to keep me quiet. I could practically see HR kicking down Leon's office door in her mind's eye.
"No, no," I rushed out. She looked at me with both sympathy and skepticism, and I blurted, "It's Drew." That caught her off guard.
"Drew?"
Oh no, what was I supposed to tell her? That my son had tried ripping my clothes off to have sex with me? That in all my protectiveness, I had lost track of my son for an entire night? That my son was jealous of my boss?
My God. Drew was jealous of Leon for my attentions? No, no, it was quite literally for my time and attention. That had to be it. Otherwise it would mean that what he had wasn't a fetish, and he truly harbored these feelings for me. Was it because Sabrina was unavailable? Then what about this Lexi? Was she even a classmate of his? What if it was some middle-aged hussy trying to seduce him for her own pleasure? But Stefan had said she was a *mutual* friend... Before I knew it, my mind was a ball of yarn, tangled this way and that.
"Is everything alright?" Leon asked.
Jazz and I snapped our heads up to look at him. His expression was somewhere between curiosity, concern, and bewilderment. Jazz hopped to her feet and straightened out her clothes before returning to her desk, at one point slyly giving Leon a dirty look. I'd have to set her straight sometime; he didn't deserve to be the subject of suspicion.
"I'm fine," I stammered, adding a slightly shrill laugh for effect.
"You look... a little worse for wear," he said carefully. "Certainly not like how you were when I dropped you off last night. Does it have something to do with me?"
"No, it's... It's my son. Last night, he stayed at a friend's house without telling me, and I was just losing my mind a bit."
Aside from the choice omissions, it was entirely true. It seemed enough to convince Leon, who nodded understandingly. "Pretty much exactly what we talked about last night, huh? Kids always manage to keep your hands full." I managed a laugh, and he smiled. "Look, why don't you take a half day off to get yourself sorted. He's probably at school now anyway, but you can catch him in the afternoon to talk things out."
That was pretty generous, especially considering we were busier than normal at this time of year. But I doubted I was going to be very productive today anyway. I gave a hesitant nod, and Leon grunted in approval.
"Want me to ask Jasmine to look after you?"
I spied Jazz craning her neck to look over the divider, and I shook my head. "I think I just need some time to myself. Ourselves."
"Good. I hope things work out. You can leave at lunch. I'll see you on Monday, Colette." He rapped his knuckles on the cubicle wall twice before leaving. Jazz tried to talk to me but I just shook my head and focused on getting at least a little work done for the day.
--
Leaving work at lunch time meant there were still a few hours before Drew came home. If he came home. I managed to schedule some handymen to come repair my bathroom, and by the time they were done, school should have let out. Like the kids had mentioned, they didn't have sports practice anymore, so he should've been back.
Should I go to his school and look for him? No, I reminded myself. He needed space and time. Feeling restless, I got in my car and just drove. I could see why men went for a drive to clear their heads. I hadn't understood the notion before, and simply viewed it as a waste of gas. It was slightly... meditative. As cheesy as it sounded, I felt more at peace about the situation. It would work out.
I looked out my car window and found myself downtown. From here I could see a squat building with the word "Taboo" in unlit purple and magenta neon on the facade. Seemed a bit small for a night club. I felt a bout of melancholy at the realization that I'd never been to a party. Not like the company Christmas parties we had every year, but an honest-to-God drinks-and-dancing party.
And now I was past that period of my life. I rested my head on the steering wheel. So much for a meditative drive. I was having a midlife crisis ten years too early. But I have Drew, I thought to myself, and I smiled. I regretted nothing.
I came to another red light and this time I spotted a store. My eyes widened. A sex shop. Guess I was in that part of town. Immediately, Jazz's voice spoke up in my mind. "Live a little, girl! I told you to get a toy, didn't I?" And I most certainly gave her a reply.
*Why not?*
--
What was I even doing in here?
I was convinced I was sweating buckets, but nobody paid me any mind. The walls were lined with rows and rows of... products. There were also shelves stacked with bottles of lubricant, as well as what looked like packages of themed costumes for the bedroom. They even sold scandalous undergarments: panties with slits down the middle, cupless bras, and some of the most intricate harnesses I'd ever seen. I didn't dare study any one thing too long, lest I give away my inexperience. I just put on my best casual, slightly disinterested expression as I browsed around the store. I didn't even know what I was looking for.
I glanced around the store and locked eyes with her. The girl who had been following me with her gaze for the past ten minutes. She wasn't wearing a store uniform like the other two employees. She was young, probably still in her teens. Honey blonde and what looked like -- at least from this distance -- stormy grey eyes. Her stare was sharp, not some dull-witted little girl looking to spend some money. She had purpose.
Her eyes passed over me as if she were scanning the room, but I had already caught her peeking my way a couple of times using the mirrors in the shop. I huffed and walked right up to her, and she feigned surprise.
"Can I help you?" I asked calmly.
She blinked at me. "Excuse?" She spoke with a slight accent. Russian, maybe.
"You've been watching me this whole time. Did you want something?"
She smiled sheepishly. "You look like you are new. Do not know what to buy."
"I..." I didn't know what to say.
"I help. I am Sasha."
I shook her offered hand. "Coco." Damn, did I just tell her my real name? Was I supposed to make one up in a shop like this?
Without letting go of my hand, she pulled me over to a wall covered in toys for women. The selection really was mind-boggling. Some looked like large pills. Some looked like microphones. One of them had two extra extensions coming off the main shaft, making it look like a cactus. Honestly, it was intimidating.
"Is first time?" Sasha asked sympathetically. I only nodded with a gulp. "For yourself or with partner?"
"I... Um... Myself, just myself." I couldn't believe it. I was taking sexual advice from a girl half my age. She took one of the microphones off the peg, eyed it, then looked me up and down before putting it back. Instead she picked a pill, one of the shorter ones, and nodded approvingly as she handed it to me.
"Small. Not go very deep. Very good for using outside."
