I never, in a million years, thought I would engage in incestuous acts of any kind. Originally, I saw any and all incest, by default, as immoral. I grew up thinking this, because that was common thought, and I just picked up on that mentality. Sexual acts with a family member? Disgusting! The word 'disgusting' coming to mind without truly thinking about it on a deeper level.
Abuse is always wrong, but what about consensual sex between family members who are adults? I have read that incest always plays a hand in abuse because, even if the parties involved have given expressed consent to each other, there is always a manipulative person involved who is the aggressor. I don't agree with that, nowadays, because if desire exists between the adult parties, then how is abuse playing a role in that? I don't see it and I think it is far-fetched to suggest such a thing when adults, of their own volition, are choosing to engage in sexual activity with one another.
With that said, I never pictured myself with anyone in my family. Going back to the topic of morality, I thought it was wrong, but now? I believe it is considered wrong due to the potential for birth defects if the parties involved produce offspring due to the similarities in DNA/the gene pool causing such things. I have no comment on that particular matter, because I have, nor will ever, want to procreate with any family member. It is a matter of lust as far as sex goes, and the natural taboo nature of incestuous sexual activities gives a thrill, a sense of extreme dirtiness and the thought of "we shouldn't be doing this, but it feels so good", which increases the arousal of the moment.
I almost decided to write this story and its series in the mode of brother and sister. Why? Because my cousin in question is very much like a brother to me. We are first cousins, however we have always been close, we have argued - in the past - as if we are siblings. I very much consider him a brother figure, which makes this entire story more like an incestuous brother-sister love/sex angle than it does anything else. I love him very much, and that is why this truly started in the first place. This whole act of taboo sex play began because I wanted to do something nice for my cousin in the guise of allowing him to engage in his ultimate sexual fetish and give him the opportunity to live out his preeminent sexual fantasy. Little did I know that I would become caught up in it, heavily aroused in the process and determined to allow it to continue. I did not plan for things to happen the way they did, especially afterwards. I planned on this being a one time thing, but after it occurred, I couldn't stop, nor could he, so it devolved into more than just innocent play, from one man delving into his utmost sexual fetish and fantasy with a woman to both partners exploring each other.
I snooped on my cousin 18-year-old cousin. TJ. That is how it began, simply put. I was 25-years-old.