Courtney My Daughter

It was an early Saturday morning. Once I heard Courtney park in the driveway, I opened the front door. There was my 31 year old daughter who recently co-starred in her first theatrical play, which was hopefully her first step into her lifelong dream of having a full-time acting career. I stepped outside to greet her, and to help carry her things. She smiled once she saw me, and I smiled back. She was wearing a simple, yet fashionable outfit consisting of a tshirt, scarf, jeans, and flip flops on her feet.

"Morning dad," she said with her usual beaming smile.

"Morning. How was the drive?"

"Same old. I love the view out here."

I nodded. "So do I. It beats living in the city."

"It's not

that

good," she teased back.

When she opened her trunk, I helped carry her things.

"You're only staying here for the weekend, right?" I asked jokingly, as I lifted her heavy luggage. "Do you have any plans to move back in here with me?"

"Only for the weekend. I like coming prepared."

I struggled carrying her luggage into my house. "I can tell."

***

The rest of the day was nice. We did leisurely things together. During the morning, we laid by the pool on the lounge chairs. I made us freshly squeezed juice. We talked, mostly small things. It was good to know that she was doing alright. And she was glad to know that I was also doing okay. I grilled us some lunch that afternoon. She rested after. I could tell she was tired from what must have been a hectic week. She took a nap in the late-afternoon. In the evening, I cooked us dinner and we shared a few laughs.

Once dinner was finished, I made us some coffee, and brought out dessert which I had kept in the refrigerator.

"So..." I said, after serving the food. "You usually don't sleep over unless you have something important on your mind. Mind telling me what it is?"

She smiled at me and gave a torturous long pause. "Take a guess."

"Are you moving?"

"No," she said, shaking her head.

"Are you engaged?"

"No."

"Are you pregnant?"

Courtney gave me a stern look. "No, I'm not pregnant. It's work related."

"Are you starring in your own stage show?"

"Not exactly. But close."

"You're better off just telling me," I said in defeat. "We'll be here all night if I have to guess."

Her face beamed with excitement. "I got my first part in a movie."

I was completely taken aback, and temporarily at a loss for words. She looked happy. Her eyes said it all. In all honesty, it didn't really matter to me if she was in a movie or not. I didn't care about trivial things like that. I just wanted her to be happy. She was doing what she loved, and that made me proud.

"That's wonderful," I said. "I'm so proud of you. I'm sure you'll be great."

"Can you believe it?"

"Of course I can. You're a uniquely talented young woman."

"Aren't you going to ask who's directing it?" she said.

It didn't really matter to me, but she wanted me to ask, so I did.

"Who?"

"Francesco Grainier Pierre."

I had no clue who that was. Nor did I care. If she was happy working with him, then I was happy to hear about it.

"Oh, that's interesting," I replied.

"You have no idea who he is, do you?" she asked. "Your eyes almost glazed over for a second."

"I've never heard of the man."

"He makes independent movies," Courtney explained. "His films are critically praised, and are universally beloved in the art community. I can't believe I'm actually going to be involved in an upcoming project of his. I'm so excited!"

"That's wonderful. Are you going to be the main star?"

She shook her head. "No, but that's okay. I have a moderate sized part as the co-lead, which I love. I can totally relate to the character I'm playing, besides, it's freaking Pierre's next movie. If I was in it for just two seconds, I would still be thrilled."

I reached out and held her hand. "Just so you know, I'm only happy because you're happy. All of this talk about being in a movie, it doesn't matter to me. As long as you're doing what you love, and your heart is in the right place, I couldn't be more proud of you."

"You're so sweet," she replied in a heartfelt manner. "I love you dad."

Courtney stood up and gave me a kiss on the forehead, and then she wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. I couldn't remember the last time she hugged me like that.

***

I searched the internet before bed, looking at the director Courtney would be working with using Wikipedia and IMDB. She was right, the man was critically acclaimed. He had written and directed a number of independent films in the past two decades. Browsing through his filmography, I noticed that some of his movies had well known actors and actresses. Some of his other movies featured lead actors which I had never heard of. For a moment, it was kind of mind boggling to think that my daughter could possibly share the screen with a big name Hollywood talent.

I continued looking through the list of recent movies he's made using Wikipedia. What eventually struck me was the amount of sexual content in his stories. Some of his movies were coming-of-age stories focused on female sexuality. Some movies were erotic thrillers. Others featured lesbian stories. The one thing they all had in common was the amount of sex.

Then I checked IMDB to see what people had to say about his films. The clear consensus was that he was a very talented filmmaker, with a unique style and beautiful imagery. Everyone was quick to praise his level of artistry and talent. Apparently the dialogue he writes is top notch. There were also many comments about how erotic his movies were, and how they were heart pounding at times. There was also criticisms by some women claiming the director has a tendency to over sexualize female characters to the point where it was almost degrading.

My joy and happiness for Courtney was quickly turning to nervousness and anxiety. Could my little girl do such a thing? Is there something she's not telling me? Could she possibly do a nude scene on film? Even worse, could she do a sex scene? No. It couldn't be. Not my daughter. But I had to ask. I had to be sure.

***

I made my daughter's favorite breakfast the next morning; french toast made with croissants, fruit syrup, bananas, and freshly squeezed orange juice.

She was wearing a large white tshirt and baggy pajama pants while we ate. Her long hair was an utter mess, and she sat cross legged on the chair, with her bare feet hanging out.

"This is so good," she said while chewing her food. "Seriously dad, you should open a restaurant or something."

"I like my current job."

"It pays more right?"

"Something like that," I replied. "Speaking of which, last night I stayed up late and looked up the director you'll be working with. He seems like a really talented guy."

Courtney gave me a curious look. "Yeah, he is."

"Anything you want to tell me?"

"He makes really good movies. They're a little on the adult side in terms of demographics, but I'm in that demographic now. I can make my own decisions."

"Anything else?" I asked, prying for more.

Courtney shrugged. "There's going to be a lot of sex in the movie. Obviously you knew that, otherwise you wouldn't be asking me. I can see that

concerned parent

look on your face. You always hate it when you think I'm about to do something crazy."

"I don't think you're crazy for working with him. The critics and audience seem to think he's an amazing filmmaker."

"He is."

"I was just making sure you know what you're doing. That's all."

Courtney paused and looked at me. "Dad, if there's something else you want to ask me, then ask. It's okay. I want us to be open and honest with each other."

"Are you going to do a nude scene in the movie?" I asked bluntly.

"Promise you won't be mad?"

Right then and there, my worst fear had come true. I knew Courtney was going to do a nude scene in a movie, and there was no talking her out of it. Her mind was made, and everything was set. She's a stubborn girl who always gets her way. Maybe it's because I spoiled her growing up. Or maybe because she got that attribute from me.

"I promise. I won't be mad."

Courtney took a deep breath. "I've spoken with the director of the film, and I've already agreed to do several nude scenes for him. All of them will be tasteful, I promise. Are you mad yet?"

"No," I sighed. "I'm not mad. But that's a lot for a parent to handle."

"I completely understand why you feel this way. I can understand if you're upset. But please, trust me. I think this movie is something great. It's also a major opportunity, and I firmly believe that this part could help me transition into becoming a movie actress."

"Is that what your manager says?" I asked.

"We both agreed that this would be best for my career."

"Figures."

"Are you mad?" she asked.

"No," I replied. "When were you planning on telling me?"

"I wanted to explain everything to you when the time was right. But last night, you kind of rushed things by asking me what I was doing here. When I told you I got the part in the movie, you looked so happy, and I didn't want to ruin the mood. So I was planning on telling you later today when everything got settled."

"I'm still very happy for you."

"Thanks dad," she replied. "I knew you would understand."

Courtney stood up and gave me a hug while I sat. It was the same as the night before, except this time, I could feel that she wasn't wearing a bra, which made me slightly uncomfortable.

"It's easy for me to forget that you're already a grown woman. You're old enough to make your own choices in life. And I respect whatever you decide."

"Thank you."

She gave me a kiss on the forehead, and another kiss on the cheek. I could tell that her kisses put syrup on my face, but I didn't mind. Her kisses felt nice.

***

The weekend flew by like a breeze. We had so much fun together, laughing, catching up, and telling stories. It was nice to be able to spend that much time with my daughter. In a way, it made me feel young again. I think she had the same feeling too. There was a glow to her. It was nice to see.

We had our final lunch together on a Monday afternoon. She would be leaving soon, back to the city. We washed the dishes together in our final act of bonding for the long weekend. She disappeared for a moment, and I just figured that she was going to finish packing.

She quickly came back down the stairs holding a small stack of dvds.

"There's something else I wanted to tell you," she said, in a serious tone. "I should have mentioned this early, but I guess I was too nervous."

At that point, I was afraid something was wrong. The entire weekend we spent together, there was never a sign of anything wrong. I was almost afraid to ask.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she replied. "I'll be doing a number of sex scenes in the movie. Explicit ones."

"I kind of figured that."

"You did?"

"Yeah."

Courtney handed me the small stack of dvds. "Here, watch these later. These are some of his movies, my favorite ones anyway. Hopefully you'll get an idea of why I want to work with him so much."

"I trust your judgement Courtney. I really do. You're a small girl. And somehow, you always make the right choices in life. I've never mentioned this before, but I think you're a lot smarter than I am."

A smile grew on her face. It was the loving kind of smile. She deeply appreciated that I understood her, and her decisions in life. She gave me a suffocating hug, showing off how strong her arms were. Then she gave me a big kiss on the cheek.

"I love you dad," she whispered in my ear.

***

That night wasn't the same after she left. I felt lonely again. There was nothing good on tv. Nothing seemed interesting. Then I remembered the stack of dvds which Courtney gave me.

'I might as well see what all the fuss is about,' I thought to myself.

The first movie I decided to watch was the erotic thriller. I've always been a fan of that genre, and it's hard to find a good movie in that category. From the start, I felt that all the hype was justified. The cinematography was gorgeous. Visually the film looked great, especially for a low budget. The dialogue was great, and so was all the acting.

Courtney, the critics, and the audiences were right. The writer & director was a genius. I loved his work so far, and that was only 30 minutes into the movie. Then the first sex scene came. It was extremely sensual and arousing. The guy knew how to direct a scene. The nudity was very explicit, yet tastefully done. The sex looked realistic, like the actors were actually doing it. I found myself becoming aroused, yet uncomfortable at the very idea that my daughter would soon be doing scenes like that.

When the movie was over, I had come to the conclusion that I was a fan of the director. I loved what I saw. It was deeply touching, intelligent, and incredible arousing.

I had a massive hard-on from the final sex scene, and it wouldn't go away. It was easy to replay the sex scenes that I liked. Thank goodness for the invention of dvds. While sitting in my living room, I pulled the front of my sweat pants down, and I stroked myself. It was one of the perks of living alone.

I masturbated to the stunning visuals of women having sex. I couldn't believe how great the sex looked. The thought of my daughter being in those scenes kept on creeping my in my head. I tried pushing it out, but it kept on returning to the point where I couldn't fight it anymore. I imagined seeing my daughter having sex on my large HD television. It was extremely taboo and forbidden, but maybe that's what made it such a secret thrill for me.

I had never fantasized about my daughter before, ever. But that time was my only exception. It was a moment of weakness. It felt dirty, depraved, but surprisingly good. I had a powerful orgasm from watching the sex on screen, but my mind was thinking of my beautiful daughter. My little secret.

***

Nearly 9 months later. Courtney and I stayed in touch like we always did, with emails and phone calls. We still saw each other when we could, but she never slept over at my house during that time. She was too busy with her career. She worked on a few small stage productions. Most of all, she spent much of her time filming her first movie. It could hear the excitement in her voice whenever she told me about it. It was obvious she was having a great time.

When they were done filming, she assured me that the movie was good. She felt the entire cast did a great job acting, and the story really came to life.

I received a package in the mail. It was from Courtney, which was strange because she never sends me packages. If she wanted to give me something, she would just drive over to my house and give it to me.

There was a dvd, along with a handwritten letter from my daughter:

Hey dad,

I paid extra for shipping, so I hope you received this package on either Saturday or Sunday. It's a dvd screener for the movie I'm in. I sent it through mail to avoid any awkward conversations between us. I hope you enjoy this movie for what it is, artistic expression. Please enjoy.

Love,

Courtney : )

The express shipping worked alright, and I got the package on a Saturday afternoon. I was curious about how the movie turned out, how her acting looked, and how explicit her nude scenes were. Deep down, I was praying that she wasn't involved in any explicit sex scenes, but it was too late for that now, the movie was already made.

I waited until night to watch it. Once I finished dinner, and it was dark, I played the movie:

It was titled

The City of Ecstasy & Agony

The film began by showing the life of a mid-30's business woman named Fiona. She was played by a fairly well known actress, and I had seen a few of her other movies.

Fiona was portrayed as having the seemingly perfect life, with money, beauty, and an abundance of friends. Her heart was broken by the man she loves. There were also sudden bumps in her career. She needed time away her from hectic life, so she got in her car and made an impromptu trip to a resort area by the beach, several hours away from her home.

That's when I saw Courtney on screen for the first time. It was surreal to see my own daughter on my large television, and in a good movie of all things.

Courtney played a free-spirited young woman, who works at the hotel which Fiona is staying in. The two women meet while Courtney was on a break from work. They briefly talk about their lives, and it's clear that Courtney's character in the movie is an open minded free thinker. Her character is in stark contrast to the ambitious and corporate minded main character of Fiona. They got along instantly. And their characters were intrigued by one another.

In the next scene, Fiona woke up early and stood by the balcony, and she watches the sun begin to rise. She sees Courtney walking on the beach. Courtney is facing the ocean, then she removes her tshirt. Then she removes her bikini top. Then she removed her bottom. Fiona sees her bare backside.

My heart was pounding at that point.

The next scene showed Courtney's partially nude body underwater, which was difficult to see since it was still dark. The silhouette of her nude body was there, but no details. It made me uncomfortable to watch, but the imagery was beautiful, and I couldn't look away.

When Courtney swam to the ocean surface, there was a glimpse of her nipple, which was pink. It was the very first time in my life that I had ever seen her nipple, and it nearly made my heart skip a beat. She swam with backstrokes, and both of her breasts were clearly showing. They were small, and perky. Her nipples were rock hard from the cold morning water. The nudity was a bit excessive in my opinion, but maybe that's because I'm her father and my judgment is skewed. It was part of the story though, since there were scenes of Fiona watching Courtney swimming.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that this was going to be a lesbian story, with my daughter as one of the women involved. It made me nervous to watch. I considered turning it off at that point, but I didn't. I couldn't. I was curious. The fact that she was my own daughter put me a in predicament which I had never been in my entire life.

I continued watching.

Courtney got out of the water. Naked. She did full frontal nudity, and I saw

everything

. Her body looked fantastic. Better than I ever could have imagined. Her body was perfect. I was becoming aroused looking at her breasts, her long legs, and her trimmed pubic hairs which were soaking wet. Her entire body was dripping with water as walked onto the beach. The sun was coming up, which showed light on her figure. The camera switched angles and showed her perfect ass, which made my heart beat faster.

When she got to her towel, Courtney and Fiona made eye contact with each other. Fiona looked like someone who had just been caught committing a crime. Fiona looked embarrassed for being a voyeur. Courtney on the other hand, simply smiled.

I stopped the dvd. How could I watch this? What was I thinking for even watching it this far? The smart thing to do was to just stop at that point. But I couldn't. I was curious. For reasons I will never understand, I wanted to keep watching, and I did.

The rest of the movie featured long dialogue scenes between Courtney and Fiona. They walked on the beach together, and they went swimming together. Their first sex scene came in the early hours of the morning. Fiona waited for Courtney at the beach. When they met, Courtney told Fiona to remove her clothes. They both got naked on the empty beach. Then they got in the water and went skinny dipping together. It was meant to be a romantic scene, and it was. Soft music played in the background which enhanced the mood.