At that point, I was afraid something was wrong. The entire weekend we spent together, there was never a sign of anything wrong. I was almost afraid to ask.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," she replied. "I'll be doing a number of sex scenes in the movie. Explicit ones."
"I kind of figured that."
"You did?"
"Yeah."
Courtney handed me the small stack of dvds. "Here, watch these later. These are some of his movies, my favorite ones anyway. Hopefully you'll get an idea of why I want to work with him so much."
"I trust your judgement Courtney. I really do. You're a small girl. And somehow, you always make the right choices in life. I've never mentioned this before, but I think you're a lot smarter than I am."
A smile grew on her face. It was the loving kind of smile. She deeply appreciated that I understood her, and her decisions in life. She gave me a suffocating hug, showing off how strong her arms were. Then she gave me a big kiss on the cheek.
"I love you dad," she whispered in my ear.
***
That night wasn't the same after she left. I felt lonely again. There was nothing good on tv. Nothing seemed interesting. Then I remembered the stack of dvds which Courtney gave me.
'I might as well see what all the fuss is about,' I thought to myself.
The first movie I decided to watch was the erotic thriller. I've always been a fan of that genre, and it's hard to find a good movie in that category. From the start, I felt that all the hype was justified. The cinematography was gorgeous. Visually the film looked great, especially for a low budget. The dialogue was great, and so was all the acting.
Courtney, the critics, and the audiences were right. The writer & director was a genius. I loved his work so far, and that was only 30 minutes into the movie. Then the first sex scene came. It was extremely sensual and arousing. The guy knew how to direct a scene. The nudity was very explicit, yet tastefully done. The sex looked realistic, like the actors were actually doing it. I found myself becoming aroused, yet uncomfortable at the very idea that my daughter would soon be doing scenes like that.
When the movie was over, I had come to the conclusion that I was a fan of the director. I loved what I saw. It was deeply touching, intelligent, and incredible arousing.
I had a massive hard-on from the final sex scene, and it wouldn't go away. It was easy to replay the sex scenes that I liked. Thank goodness for the invention of dvds. While sitting in my living room, I pulled the front of my sweat pants down, and I stroked myself. It was one of the perks of living alone.
I masturbated to the stunning visuals of women having sex. I couldn't believe how great the sex looked. The thought of my daughter being in those scenes kept on creeping my in my head. I tried pushing it out, but it kept on returning to the point where I couldn't fight it anymore. I imagined seeing my daughter having sex on my large HD television. It was extremely taboo and forbidden, but maybe that's what made it such a secret thrill for me.
I had never fantasized about my daughter before, ever. But that time was my only exception. It was a moment of weakness. It felt dirty, depraved, but surprisingly good. I had a powerful orgasm from watching the sex on screen, but my mind was thinking of my beautiful daughter. My little secret.
***
Nearly 9 months later. Courtney and I stayed in touch like we always did, with emails and phone calls. We still saw each other when we could, but she never slept over at my house during that time. She was too busy with her career. She worked on a few small stage productions. Most of all, she spent much of her time filming her first movie. It could hear the excitement in her voice whenever she told me about it. It was obvious she was having a great time.
When they were done filming, she assured me that the movie was good. She felt the entire cast did a great job acting, and the story really came to life.
I received a package in the mail. It was from Courtney, which was strange because she never sends me packages. If she wanted to give me something, she would just drive over to my house and give it to me.
There was a dvd, along with a handwritten letter from my daughter:
Hey dad,
I paid extra for shipping, so I hope you received this package on either Saturday or Sunday. It's a dvd screener for the movie I'm in. I sent it through mail to avoid any awkward conversations between us. I hope you enjoy this movie for what it is, artistic expression. Please enjoy.
Love,
Courtney : )
The express shipping worked alright, and I got the package on a Saturday afternoon. I was curious about how the movie turned out, how her acting looked, and how explicit her nude scenes were. Deep down, I was praying that she wasn't involved in any explicit sex scenes, but it was too late for that now, the movie was already made.
I waited until night to watch it. Once I finished dinner, and it was dark, I played the movie:
It was titled
The City of Ecstasy & Agony
The film began by showing the life of a mid-30's business woman named Fiona. She was played by a fairly well known actress, and I had seen a few of her other movies.
Fiona was portrayed as having the seemingly perfect life, with money, beauty, and an abundance of friends. Her heart was broken by the man she loves. There were also sudden bumps in her career. She needed time away her from hectic life, so she got in her car and made an impromptu trip to a resort area by the beach, several hours away from her home.
That's when I saw Courtney on screen for the first time. It was surreal to see my own daughter on my large television, and in a good movie of all things.
Courtney played a free-spirited young woman, who works at the hotel which Fiona is staying in. The two women meet while Courtney was on a break from work. They briefly talk about their lives, and it's clear that Courtney's character in the movie is an open minded free thinker. Her character is in stark contrast to the ambitious and corporate minded main character of Fiona. They got along instantly. And their characters were intrigued by one another.
In the next scene, Fiona woke up early and stood by the balcony, and she watches the sun begin to rise. She sees Courtney walking on the beach. Courtney is facing the ocean, then she removes her tshirt. Then she removes her bikini top. Then she removed her bottom. Fiona sees her bare backside.
My heart was pounding at that point.
The next scene showed Courtney's partially nude body underwater, which was difficult to see since it was still dark. The silhouette of her nude body was there, but no details. It made me uncomfortable to watch, but the imagery was beautiful, and I couldn't look away.
When Courtney swam to the ocean surface, there was a glimpse of her nipple, which was pink. It was the very first time in my life that I had ever seen her nipple, and it nearly made my heart skip a beat. She swam with backstrokes, and both of her breasts were clearly showing. They were small, and perky. Her nipples were rock hard from the cold morning water. The nudity was a bit excessive in my opinion, but maybe that's because I'm her father and my judgment is skewed. It was part of the story though, since there were scenes of Fiona watching Courtney swimming.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that this was going to be a lesbian story, with my daughter as one of the women involved. It made me nervous to watch. I considered turning it off at that point, but I didn't. I couldn't. I was curious. The fact that she was my own daughter put me a in predicament which I had never been in my entire life.
I continued watching.
Courtney got out of the water. Naked. She did full frontal nudity, and I saw
everything
. Her body looked fantastic. Better than I ever could have imagined. Her body was perfect. I was becoming aroused looking at her breasts, her long legs, and her trimmed pubic hairs which were soaking wet. Her entire body was dripping with water as walked onto the beach. The sun was coming up, which showed light on her figure. The camera switched angles and showed her perfect ass, which made my heart beat faster.
When she got to her towel, Courtney and Fiona made eye contact with each other. Fiona looked like someone who had just been caught committing a crime. Fiona looked embarrassed for being a voyeur. Courtney on the other hand, simply smiled.
I stopped the dvd. How could I watch this? What was I thinking for even watching it this far? The smart thing to do was to just stop at that point. But I couldn't. I was curious. For reasons I will never understand, I wanted to keep watching, and I did.
The rest of the movie featured long dialogue scenes between Courtney and Fiona. They walked on the beach together, and they went swimming together. Their first sex scene came in the early hours of the morning. Fiona waited for Courtney at the beach. When they met, Courtney told Fiona to remove her clothes. They both got naked on the empty beach. Then they got in the water and went skinny dipping together. It was meant to be a romantic scene, and it was. Soft music played in the background which enhanced the mood.
