Camden let his book bag fall to the kitchen floor and grabbed an apple off the counter. His day had been too damn long and all he wanted to do was eat and crash, hopefully in that order. He took the stairs two at a time and headed for his room.
Walking down the hall he heard music coming from his sister's room. Camden hadn't realized anyone else was home so he figured he'd pop his head in to say hi. But as he pushed the door open his breath caught in his lungs and his body turned to ice.
"What the hell are you doing!" Camden screamed as he watched in horror while his twin brother, Carter, manhandled his sister's naked chest.
"Camden!" Anna squeaked and pulled the sheet to cover herself. "What are you doing home... I thought... um... this isn't what it looks like."
"How could this be anything else?" Camden screamed, waiving frantically between Anna and Carter. They were sitting cross-legged on Anna's bed with their bodies facing each other. Carter was still fully dressed but Anna was very much undressed. Camden turned his glare to the very silent Carter.
"Cam, just listen please. I know this looks bad but it's not. We're not doing anything. I swear." Anna pleaded while wrapping the sheet around her and moving off the bed.
"You sick fuck! She's our little sister!" Camden said in a strangled whisper then lunged for Carter. The hit sent them both flying over the bed and onto the floor. Carter still hadn't said anything and he didn't seem to be fighting back. Anna however grabbed Camden around the neck and pulled him off Carter. She was screaming something in Camden's ear but he was tuning her out concentrating only on how badly he wanted to beat the hell out of his twin brother.
"Camden, he's gay! He's gay! Cam! Cam! Carter is GAY!" Finally Anna's words hit him and he stopped resisting her attempts to wrench him free of his position. He fell to his side and gaped at Carter who was lying on his back a few feet away, his head resting on the cool wood floor and his eyes determinedly not looking anywhere near Camden.
Anna had fallen to the floor as well and readjusted the sheet while softly stroking one of Carter's legs. "It's okay Carter. He would have found out eventually. This way maybe he can help us. It'll be okay." She said in a soft soothing voice directed completely at Carter as if Camden weren't in the room at all.
"What do you mean 'He's gay'?" Camden's voice was slow and quiet, barely above a whisper. "Carter isn't gay. You're not gay." He said first to Anna and then to Carter.
Anna took a deep breath and looked at Camden. "He hasn't told anyone else yet. He wanted to make sure. He's confused and didn't want everyone influencing his life." She said calmly as if they were discussing a movie choice instead of a sexual preference.
"Carter?" Camden looked at his brother's profile but carter wouldn't turn towards him. "Carter? What's going on?" His only response was to slowly shake his head and close his eyes like he was pushing away a bad dream. "Carter, dammit. Talk to me. We've shared everything for the last twenty-one years. Tell me what she's talking about. Please." Camden knew his voice had a desperate tinge to it but didn't care. Everything was happening too fast. He just wanted to go to sleep and forget this all happened.
Finally Carter opened his eyes and stared at the bedroom's ceiling. He took a deep breath and spoke in a shaky voice. "I think I'm gay. I was going to tell you. I really was. But you're you. So I told Anna first. I thought she could help me."
Camden felt like he'd been punched in the gut. "Gay." He repeated numbly. Then the rest of Carter's words sunk in. "Wait. What do you mean 'I'm me'? Why does that mean anything. I'm your brother, your twin. Why wouldn't you tell me?"
Carter closed his eyes again so Anna spoke instead. "Cam, come on. You're such a macho man. You don't even know any gay people. And no offense but aren't you a bit homophobic?" She sighed and continued rubbing Carter's leg. "You just wouldn't have understood."
"That's insane! I'm not homophobic! It's not my fault that I'm good at sports or that we live in this stupid small town." Camden yelled at Anna. His voice softened when he looked towards Carter again. "You could have told me." Silence covered the room like a thick blanket.
"I still don't understand what I walked in on though." Camden said after noticing again that Anna's sheet wasn't exactly staying in place. "Why are you naked? And why was he touching you if he's gay?" Camden pointed his finger accusingly between his two siblings.
"I thought maybe I could help him figure out if he really is gay or not. I know it sounds stupid but he dated that one girl in high school and he says he was attracted to her so I thought maybe he wasn't gay. But he says that it was probably just that he liked hanging out with her rather than actually screwing her. But I thought if he could touch a real live girl he might find it... appealing." Anna was talking very quickly and her cheeks turned a brilliant red by the time she was finished.
"But... You're... I mean, why would you let him touch you?" Camden stammered. "Isn't there someone else? A friend or another girl?"
"I didn't want anyone else to know." Carter whispered. "But I swear I didn't ask her to do it. I would never do that." He said louder, finally meeting Camden's gaze.
"Of course he didn't ask me. I wanted to help. Wouldn't you want to help him if this could be changed?" Anna pleaded with Camden to understand.
Camden didn't answer her. He kept looking at Carter. "So? Did it... do anything?" he asked him hesitantly.
Carter shook his head and looked back to the ceiling. But Anna didn't seem to be giving up. "Maybe it just wasn't enough. Maybe it's like violence on TV and you're just desensitized to nudity and so you need more." She told Carter in a hopeful voice. "Maybe you need to actually, you know, do it."
"No. I told you I don't want anyone else to know. I couldn't bear to use some poor girl as a try-out and then make her think it was her fault if I couldn't go through with it." Carter said shaking his head vigorously.
"He's right Anna. There's no easy way to do that. Not without telling more people." Camden mumbled to himself more than to Anna. He was still reeling from the whole revelation and could barely form sentences.
"I know. I know you don't want to tell anyone else. But I'm a girl. I know it didn't work just touching but actually doing it might be exactly what you need. It wouldn't have to be a big thing. It's just like taking medicine or something." Anna said matter-of-factly.
Camden and Carter both spun their faces towards her at the same time. Their mouths formed identical O's as their jaws dropped and their eyes bugged out. "Are you fucking crazy!" Camden yelled just as Carter started sputtering his own refusal.
"Calm down! It's not like I'm a virgin or anything. I'm 19! And I love Carter and would do anything to help him." She said defensively. "You just said you'd help him too Cam, so help him now by shutting up."
"Anna. Cam. Stop fighting. This isn't happening so there isn't any reason to get into it. I love you too Anna and it's nice that you're trying to help me but I'll just have to figure it out on my own." Carter was rising into a seated position between Anna and Camden as he spoke. "It'll be okay."
"But Carter if I can help why not let me. Can you honestly say you want to tell mom and dad about this if maybe you wouldn't have too?" she said, gripping his shoulder. "Maybe it's just a phase or a passing thought because you haven't actually tried sex yet. Think about it Carter." she begged.
