Conversations with My Mother

At Age Eighteen

.

"Honey, are you still a virgin?"

"Mom, what sort of question is that?"

"A question expecting the answer 'yes', I hope."

"I won't disappoint you then. Yes, I am. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I lost my cherry at about your age, but I knew pretty much what to expect."

"How come?"

"You won't believe this, but Mom and Dad - your Grandparents - thought that I should know all they could possibly teach me about sex before I got into it, so when I turned eighteen they asked me if I'd like them to show me! They were both teachers and ex-hippies, you know - a bad combination, left-overs from the 1960s - and we were living in a decaying sort of commune with lots of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll."

"Jeez...They wanted to

show

you? I always knew Gran and Grandpa were nuts! God, what did you say?"

"Well, I didn't want to be rude or anything, but really! Even thinking about one's parents having sex is shocking enough; actually to be invited to watch it? That was something else! I thought about it and told them:

'Thanks, but no thanks'

."

"So how come you knew what to expect?"

"Well, they had really piqued my curiosity, and once I got over the shock I found I really did want to see how it was done. I'd have preferred to watch another couple, but that option wasn't on offer, so one night I crept out of bed and tiptoed to the door of their room. They always left the bedroom door open - all part of their openness policy, I guess - and I had often heard them making love before, but never seen anything. On this occasion, bright moonlight was streaming in through the window and falling across the bed where my mother lay. She was naked, lying with her ass right at the edge of the bed and her feet on the floor. Dad was standing between her open legs, his long prick pointing towards the ceiling. I'd seen his prick before - he often walked around naked - but I'd never seen it erect, and the sight of it grabbed my attention and instantly made me wet. I reached under my nightie and began to gently finger my cunt. Your Grandpa was rubbing his prick with one hand and Mom's clit with the other. Then he leant forward and slid his penis in between the lips of her vagina. I could see the tip glistening in the moonlight as he rubbed it back and forth across her clit. Then she reached down, took hold of it and pulled it into the mouth of her vagina. He entered her with a long sigh of satisfaction, and they began to copulate.

"Of course, I knew the mechanics of sex; you couldn't grow up in that environment and not learn what went where at a very early age, but now I was learning the emotions of sex, both from what I was watching and from what I was feeling as I rubbed my own clit and slipped a wet finger into my virgin hole. With one hand, Mom was fingering her clit while with the other she was alternately pinching her large nipples. Again, I'd often seen her naked before, but never in the throes of sexual passion as she was now. Her breathing became ragged as her orgasm approached and she began to moan softly in time with Dad's thrusts. He looked down at her lovely body in the moonlight and said:

"Oh, the children should see you like this!"

I don't know if he already knew that I was standing in the open doorway, but as he said it he looked up and caught my eye. He smiled at me - the softest, gentlest smile I can ever remember receiving. We locked eyes and his thrusts suddenly became more urgent, his prick darting in and out of Mom's vagina. I came first, whimpering with delight at the glorious feelings coursing through my belly, running down my thighs and climbing up my spine. Mom turned her head at the noise, smiled, and watched me come, my orgasm triggering her own. She gasped with feeling as seconds later, Dad's semen flooded into her cunt and began to drip down her legs. A nightingale singing outside the window broke the silence and serenaded us as we all drifted slowly back to earth together, having shared an experience that I will treasure for the rest of my life."

"Oh, Mom...now you've made me cry!"

"Sorry, honey. Much to my surprise, it turned out to be a lovely introduction to the joys of sex, and I wanted yours to be the same."

"No! I will

not

watch you and your boyfriend

du jour

fucking!"

"Language, honey! Anyway, that wasn't what I meant; I just wanted to make sure you knew all about contraception and STDs and everything."

"Mom, I've been on the Pill for a year already, and I always carry condoms in my purse!"

"How on earth? And why?"

"Well, 'how' is that I made an appointment with Dr. B. last year and told him I needed to go on the Pill. Bless him, he didn't ask too many questions, just gave me a prescription and a note to give to you and Dad."

"I don't remember any note."

"No...Well, maybe I...er...forgot to give it to you. I thought you'd be angry and ask me too many questions."

"And what questions might those have been?"

"Why I needed the Pill if I didn't have a boyfriend."

"And why did you?"

"Oh well, I guess it's all right to tell you, now that he's left."

"Who?"

"Dad, of course."

"I think you'd better start at the beginning..."

"Well, about a year ago I noticed Dad getting a funny look in his eye whenever he looked at me."

"Oh, honey...No!"

"I'd seen him look at you like that and I thought I knew just what it meant, so I did three things: first, I went on the Pill without telling anyone. Second, I asked you to put a lock on my bedroom door..."

"I thought that was because you were scared of burglars after the neighbors' house was broken into."

"I made up that story, about the break-in, I mean. No, I wanted to be able to sleep soundly at night. But I think Dad knew why I wanted it."

"What was the third thing?"

"I slept with a kitchen knife under my pillow."

"Oh my dear sweet child...And I never knew! Did he ever...?"

"No, thank God. And then you threw him out - what a relief!"

"And you're still on the Pill?"

"Yes, I keep thinking I may need it one of these days, you know...if or when I get a boyfriend, but now I'm not so sure."

"What do you mean?"

Oh, Mom, I've been dying to tell you about Pat. We met a few months ago and we've been dating - I guess you'd call it that - just since I turned eighteen."

"Oh honey...how exciting! Where did you meet?"

"We were on the swim team together and really got to...er...know one another when we went away to swim meets."

"Hmm...I guess it's a good thing you were always chaperoned on those trips. Tell me more; what else does Pat like to do besides swimming, honey?"

"We've taken some art classes together; Pat draws really well and likes to sketch me."

"Not naked, I hope?"

"Oh Mom! All you think about is sex!"

"Sounds like Pat has a lot in common with your lovely friend Trish."

"Hold onto your hat, Mom...Pat

is

my lovely friend Trish."

"What on earth do you mean? How can he be?...Oh! You mean...Pat's a girl?"

"Yes, Mom. They both are...the

same

girl. Are we on the same page now?"

"What about all those sleep-overs you have together? Don't tell me..."

"We don't sleep much, if that's what you're asking."

"Oh my god! What do the two of you do together? No! Don't tell me...I don't want to know...Yes I do! What's got into me? My own daughter!...and I want to know what she gets up to with another girl!?"

"Well, are you asking me or aren't you?"

"Just give me a moment..."

"Mom! You're all flushed."

"I'm sorry, love, but the thought of you and Trish..."

"Pat..."

"Sorry - you and Pat in bed together has got me all hot and bothered. Go on then, tell me."

"Oh Mom, you'd just love her too. She's so gorgeous and I can't get enough of her. She's got these cute breasts - they're still growing, just like mine - we're about the same size, but her nipples are much bigger, surrounded by these fantastic big brown aureolas - I think that's the right word, or maybe it should be aureolae? Whatever, I love to suck on them - does that shock you? - and when she sucks mine I get this amazing feeling in my cunt - sorry Mom, but you did ask..."

"Go on, honey; don't mind me whimpering here..."

"Well, our favorite thing to do...you know, when we're really sexed up...is to go down on each other. Head-to-tail is my favorite...you know, like 69?...and she'll spread her legs so that I can lick her clit and push my tongue into her vagina. And then she does me. God, she tastes so good! And she really likes it when I finger her asshole and slip my pinkie just a little way into her. It makes her come like crazy, and then I can feel her asshole squeezing my pinkie and her vagina squeezing my tongue - it's fantastic and always makes me come too. But then after about two minutes we're both ready to come again! Does it work like that for you, Mom? I used to think it was once and you're done, but I can come a dozen times when I'm with Pat."

"You're lucky, my love. Not all women can come multiple times."

"Can you?"

"It depends who I'm with."

"With Dad?"

"No; your father would come once and promptly fall asleep, leaving me to take care of myself."

"Oh, Mom! Is that why you threw him out?"

"It's a long story. Maybe I'll tell you one day."

"Have you ever made love with another girl, Mom?"

"No, of course not...But - god! I've wanted to! The first girl I had a crush on - we used to call them 'pashes' in my day..."

"Pashes? What's that?"

"You know...short for passion? We shaved each other's...you know...pussies, and I got so excited, I came. It was my first real orgasm. But she was completely offhand about it. She said

"Oh, that's normal, you know"

. She had no idea that I was just dying inside."

"Oh Mom, that's so romantic!"

"Yes...well, it was, until she spread her legs in front of my face as wide as she possibly could, rubbed her forefinger between her just-shaved pussy lips and slipped it into her tight little vagina, and then put it into her mouth and sucked it lasciviously. I think she enjoyed watching me squirm as she did it. "

You're a perv

", she said, and that was the last time we spoke. It killed my feelings for her right there. You know, the funny thing is that I re-run those images of her in my head every time I...you know..."

"Every time you do what, Mom?"

"Don't make me say it, honey."

"Masturbate, Mom? Is that the word you're avoiding?"

"All right, then...Yes, every time I masturbate. There, satisfied now? Grown-ups still do it, you know; even women, like me!

"Oh Mom, I do love you so!"

"Love you too, sweetie. Well, this puts a different complexion on things."

"What things?"

"I was going to give you a present: some...er...sex toys, I suppose you'd call them, that might make it easier for you when you lose your cherry. On second thoughts, I suppose you and Patricia could use them..."

"Where are they? I want to see!"

"I keep them in the pantry with my cupcakes."

"You WHAT?"

"Just kidding...don't you know that Simon and Garfunkel song 'Mrs. Robinson'? No, it was before your time, I guess. I've got them right here."

"Oh, wow! I've heard about things like this but never seen any. They're all different shapes and sizes and colors. Pat'll be thrilled! Are these what you use, Mom?"

"Well, since your Dad left, I don't get laid very often. And even before he left, there were times..."

"What about Greg? I thought you and he..."

"He's married, honey; I'm just his bit on the side. That's going nowhere."

"Shame, I like Greg; he ignores me completely."

"Oh I'm sorry, honey. I'll have a word with him..."

"No, please don't! As long as he ignores me, I know I'm safe. It's the ones who want to be nice and 'get to know me better' that scare me. Anyway, are you going to show me how these things work? Please Mom!"

"OK then. I guess that's the least I can do. The instructions are usually in Chinese, anyway. Why don't we go into the bedroom? Now, one of us will have to take our panties off...you or me?"

"Oh, me, me! You already know how they feel. I'm going to get completely naked if that's OK with you."

"Sure, honey...Oh, you've grown into such a beautiful girl; you make a mother proud! I can't remember the last time I saw you like that."

"Which one shall we start with?"

"This one's the smallest and simplest; I suggest you try it first. It's just got this narrow wand, I think they call it."

"Ha! A magic wand, like in Harry Potter...Not!"

"It vibrates when you press the end here. Try it. You can hold it against your nipples or your clit, or push it into your vagina, whichever feels best. I think it's narrow enough for a virgin."

"Oh Mom, that's amazing! Wait till Pat gets a hold of this; we're going to need two of these!"

"Don't get carried away, love. This is a lesson, remember?"

"Ohh, must I really stop? This feels so fucking good!"

"Language, sweetie, language! This next one's a bit bigger and it's got this little arm - they call it a rabbit - that rubs your clit at the same time that the wand is in your vagina. That way you get it inside and outside simultaneously. I warn you, this one can blow your mind."

"Let me try it! Oh, it

is

big, isn't it? It only goes a little way into me. Does this turn on the rabbit? Oh my god, that's strong! I could come in a moment with this; it's amazing!"

"There's more to come, honey."

"God, who needs a man when you've got things like these?"

"Good question."

"What's next?"

"You can guess what this one does, with its big wand, its rabbit, and its little wand..."

"Oh, Pat would go crazy for this one. Let me try it. Ahhh...Wow! Maybe I could get to like that after all. Mom, these things are just amazing! What's that last one?"

"This one does everything the others do and thrusts into you at the same time. Believe me, it's just like being fucked without having to worry about his ego, his moods, his dinner, or anything. And all it eats is batteries! Anyway, honey, if you start using these things, you can loosen your own vagina gradually so that your first time with a man will be painless. That's unless you're planning to stick to women..."

"Honestly, Mom? I really don't know. Most of the boys I know are such jerks I don't even want to talk to them, let alone have sex with any of them, but I suppose that may change as I get older. We'll just have to see. In the meantime, do you mind if I get myself off with these lovely toys you've given me?"

"Go right ahead, honey. That's what they're for. Shall I leave you to it?"

"No, Mom. Would you stay and hold my other hand?"

* * *

At Age Twenty-eight.

"Honey, are you pregnant?"

"Oh Mom..."

"Don't cry, honey! There, there...Tell me all about it."

"Well...it's a long story, but the bottom line?...Yes, I am."

"Oh honey, that's wonderful...isn't it? My first grandchild! Weren't you and David trying to have a baby?"

"Yes, we've been trying for years, and now I'm pregnant!"

"There...don't cry. So what's the matter?"

"It's not his!"

"Oh honey! Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"How can you be?"

"All right, here's the whole story. I love David and we get on really well and the sex was OK and everything in the garden was more-or-less lovely until I came off the Pill and started trying to conceive."

"When was this?"

"About three years ago, now."

"Three

years

?"

"I know...a long time. We were fucking regularly and somehow I just wasn't getting pregnant. Each month my period would come round like clockwork and after a while I began to suspect that there must be something wrong with one of us. David didn't want to discuss it. He said we should just fuck more often, which was OK with me, at least to begin with. We were doing it morning, noon and night, and - to tell you the truth - it became a chore. So without telling David I went to my gynecologist for a complete check-up, you know, and she said I was 100% fit and fertile: wide open tubes, nice uterus, the whole nine yards. And then she asked me all sorts of personal questions about my sex life - frequency, positions, the volume of David's semen, you name it. I told her everything I could, and she recommended that we have David's sperm tested. I knew right away that David wouldn't go for that; he was beginning to get very defensive on the subject, so one night after we'd made love I milked some of his semen out of my vagina and put it in the fridge overnight, without telling him. The next day I took it to my doctor and she had it tested. He's completely sterile, Mom, but he doesn't know it! And I can't bring myself to tell him.

That's

how I know this baby isn't his. I don't know what to do; please...you've got to help me!"

"Of course I'll help you, honey. But if you love David, and the baby is not his, whose is it?"

"Ahh...that's another story...not very edifying, this one. Still, I've never kept anything from you, so here goes...There's this colleague of David's you see; married, lovely wife, two gorgeous kids...you get the picture. We saw quite a lot of them socially until seeing the happy family became too painful for me. Anyway, by that time I'd developed a bit of a crush on Brad, David's colleague, although I kept it strictly to myself. I really do love David, you know. Anyway, about eight weeks ago David happened to mention in passing that Brad was going to Boston on business. I had just discovered that David was sterile, and my mind was in turmoil about what to do. I don't know what came over me - I really don't - but I arranged to be in Boston too, and to stay in the same hotel - don't look at me like that! - where we 'accidentally' bumped into each other. I'm ashamed to think about it now. I think my body knew just what it needed to do; it just hadn't warned my brain!

"Anyway, we had dinner together and then he invited me up to his room. We chatted - mostly about his family - and shared a bottle of wine, and then I said:

"Well, I think it's my bedtime. Thanks for dinner and the wine, Brad. Do you still have work to do?"

"No, I expect I'll watch a movie before I go to bed."

"What are you going to see?"

"I'll pick something at random; with porn it doesn't make much difference."

"Oh!...I've haven't seen a porn movie since I don't know when. What's it like these days?"

"They haven't changed much. The good ones are titillating if you can ignore the lack of a plot and the dreadful acting."

"Do they show really explicit sex?"

"Do they ever! You really should complete your education, you know."

"And that's when I should have said

"Some other time maybe! Goodnight, Brad."

But instead I heard myself saying:

"Why not? What do you usually watch?"

"I really get off on lesbian porn, if you must know. Two beautiful women having sex together is about the greatest turn-on I can imagine."

"Sounds good to me. I know a thing or two about lesbian sex; I'll tell you if they get it right."

"Really? I don't suppose you'd like to tell me about it..."

"It was a long time ago, before I met David. Let's watch the movie and I'll give you a running commentary, if you like."

"You're on! You can have the bed; I'll sit here on the floor. Ready?"

"Roll it!"

"Well, Mom. It was years since Pat and I had gone our separate ways, and much as I love David and the sex we have together, I've never lost my taste for women, despite being completely celibate in that way since Pat. The chance to watch two women making out together, no holds barred, had me wet and excited before they even started! As Brad had warned me, the plot was minimal and the acting cringe-worthy, but the two women were young, beautiful and enthusiastic, and the sex was well-filmed and explicit. It took me right back to lying between Pat's open legs, licking her cunt and pushing my tongue into her vagina."