My name is Anna, for purposes of this confession, and I was a 21 year old girl when this story happened. I was at the second year of my medical studies when my father died and I went home to attend the funeral. I was close to my dad, we would talk about anything and everything, and talk a lot. He would always listen to my problems. He was always there for me. He would tell me his problems. I broke down and cried for hours when mom called and told me.
I came back home, and it was different. House was empty without him. I wanted to cry and grieve, but there was too much work to do to prepare for the funeral. People came to help, but... So many things to do, and people can't help you with that. I felt so alone without him.
Four days after he died, we got a call from his lawyer who let us know that I had a half brother, James. Mom and me were in shock. Turns out dad had an affair at the start of their marriage. My half brother was only three months younger than me, and he lived 5 hours away by car.
He arrived on the morning of the funeral, alone. His mother did not want to come to dad's funeral. I was hurt at first, how could dad do something like that to mom? Mom was furious and cried all night. But we put on brave faces, and welcomed him. What else could we do? When he rang the door, I thought dad came home - a 30 year younger version of dad came through time to tell us all will be ok. But it was not dad.
Funeral went ok, for "ok" values that funerals can have. Mom and me cried. James looked awkward. Priest held a good service, and family gathering after was ok. I don't remember much, too many faces, too many condolences, too much numbness. It went by with a blur. James stayed in a hotel that night, and mom invited him to come over for lunch the next day.
He parked in driveway, and we had leftovers from the reception, then mom retired to her room. She was polite to James, but it was obvious she was hurt that dad cheated on her. I went for a walk with James, to show him the town, and to talk. We walked and talked for hours. He looked like dad. He sounded almost like dad. But his talking filled the hole left by dad, at least somewhat.
By the time we got back to the house, it was already sunset, and he was supposed to drive home. Mom wouldn't have it - he could not drive for 5 hours at night. He could stay in the basement, there was a pull out couch. It would not be right if she let him leave. She told me to show him where it is, and get fresh sheets. Then she left for church.
He took his bag from the car, and I led him downstairs. Helped him pull out the couch and pull on the sheets and set up the bed. Up close he was smelling so good. There was still a little sunlight in the basement, through one of the windows looking west, but it was fading with sunset. We finished setting up the bed and stood close and he looked me in the eyes.
I kissed him on the lips and we both froze for a moment. Then he kissed me back. We kissed for ten, fifteen seconds before I pulled back. Doing that, I bumped into the bed and dropped down on my butt. I sat right in front of him and looking at his belt buckle and jeans and just went for them. I don't know why. It just felt right thing to do. He pulled off his shirt and I was surprised by his body, he was fit!
I pulled down his jeans and he pushed them off all the way and leaned over me and kissed me again. He pushed me back on the bed and I moved up on it. My skirt rode up my thighs and his hands were under my camisole. I could feel his weight settling on me, and I was getting very hot and very wet.
He pulled down my panties until they got stuck on my sneakers. I tried pulling them off with my feet, and ended up pulling off one sneaker with white cotton panties hanging off of the sneaker that was still on my foot. Then I felt him enter me and remembered I have a boyfriend back at university, who I've been dating for almost 2 years and loved so much. I felt guilt for cheating on him, as I felt James kissing my neck.
