Before I get into the story of what happened between my son and me, you need to know a little bit about me. My name is Deb and I'm 39 years old, though everyone thinks I'm younger. I have long, raven black hair and crystal blue eyes. I've always felt good about my body, which I have worked hard to keep in good shape.
Anyway. I was raised in a strict, fundamentalist family in the Midwest. Nevertheless, I've always had this penchant for sex. I must have only been four or five when I discovered the pleasure of rubbing myself and would look forward to playing with myself every night, though I was deathly afraid of being found out. In my family, sex was never discussed. It was always considered a shameful topic, so I kept my nightly ritual and sexual thoughts to myself.
With two older, very rebellious brothers, I was the compliant child. I was the "good girl." I hate that label, but I've been stuck with it my whole life. I was always the "good girl." My brothers would smoke and drink and get their girlfriends pregnant, but not me. Deborah was always the little angel. They would freak if they knew what their little angel thought about. They could keep me from dating, dancing, listening to rock music, or any of the other activities they deemed "evil" but they couldn't shackle my mind. I had a very active fantasy life.
I remember when we'd go on vacation and would stay in the same hotel room. I would always try to sneak a peek of my dad's penis or my brothers. Occasionally I did and found it so hot to think about them in sexual ways. But it was always fantasy.
Because of my overbearing parents and compliant nature, I never dated in high school and went off to the same Bible College my dad went to. They were very strict there, too. I soon met my husband, Jonathon. Jonathon was, and is, a sweet guy. He is very kind and I love him. On the surface, we were the perfect match. Jonathon was dashing and was always the "good boy." He never did anything wrong and was headed into the ministry. My parents were overjoyed when we were quickly engaged and married.
Of course, I had looked forward to married life. Finally, I would have sex whenever I wanted it and it would be okay. It quickly became apparent that this would not be the case. Jonathon was awkward and shy. I tried to let him know that I was willing to do anything sexually that he wanted to do – but he let me know that what I suggested was "dirty" and "disgusting." Sex became infrequent and when we did have sex it was in bed – in the dark – under the covers. It has always been the same. Kiss – Kiss – feel – feel – climb on – thrust – thrust – cum – roll off and fall asleep. I would always wait until Jonathon was asleep and sneak into the bathroom to finger fuck myself to orgasm.
It was disappointing, but we had two beautiful children. Sara came 10 months after we were married. Ten months later, David was born. I quit school to take care of the babies while Jonathon finished school. He was soon the minister of a small town church and I became the preacher's wife. Of course, I was such a "good girl" that I played the part very well. I've played it well for 19 years. I play the merry hostess. I sing in the choir. I run the Sunday School committee. My husband is still sweet and straight and boring.
If the people of our church only knew that I picture them in every conceivable sexual situation. I sit in the choir and look out at the congregation. I fantasize about what it would be like to fuck different men. I've fantasized about keeping some of the young boys after Sunday School to give them a lesson they'll never forget. I've fantasized about having them men's quartet gang-bang me – all of their cocks pushing into every one of my holes. Even though it's hard for me to admit, I've even fantasized about having sex with women in the congregation. There are a few young mothers who I absolutely have the hots for. I've pictured us getting together for the Nursery Committee meeting and ending up in a wild Sapphic orgy.
Then there's my son. David has always been a sweet kid. I've always felt a special relationship with him. He's like me. He's so sweet and so compliant. I had the normal mixture of feelings as he grew. I had to fight off the sexual feelings I had when breastfeeding. I've admired his growing body and fought off occasional thoughts that would come into my mind like they did with my father and brothers.
Of course, nothing happened. I would never bring myself to do anything. They were just thoughts. However, when David was 16 I was deep cleaning his room and found a sex magazine under his mattress. I was shocked at first and wondered what I should do. Then I began to think how hypocritical it would be for me to punish David for having the same sexual desires that I had. To be honest, I flipped through the magazine and became very wet as I looked at the pictures of people fucking. I'd never seen a magazine like this up close and I had to admit that it turned me on. I masturbated several times that day in my son's room before replacing the magazine.
It was at this time that we got a computer and my husband got an on-line service to keep in touch with seminary friends and download sermons he could use. Our children were never allowed to get on-line, of course. But I soon learned how to get on line and my curiosity led me to many erotic sites. I would wait for Jonathon and the kids to leave in the morning so I could get on-line. I began reading stories like you find on this site and my sexuality began grow more and more.
I couldn't get the thought of David jacking off to his sex magazine out of my mind. I must confess that I couldn't control the thoughts. I would catch David looking at my body as I would walk past him. I would instantly get wet and more than once I went to the bathroom to frig dripping cunt to climax.
That was two years ago. I found myself doing little things just to tease David. Jonathon never responded to any kind of sexy lingerie or outfit, but I went out and bought some silky, lacy underwear just for David. I would wear a lacy black bra under my blouse. When David got home from school I would unbutton an extra button or two and then serve David an after school snack, letting him get a peek down my blouse. I found myself not locking the bathroom door, secretly hoping that David would accidentally barge in. A few times, I would check the bathroom door while David was showering to see if he had locked it (unfortunately he always did). I started wrapping a towel around myself after a shower and walking to my room to get dressed just so David could see me. I often saw the bulge in his pants that these efforts of mine created.
David is now eighteen and a senior in high school. Sara is off at her first year in college. Just last month Jonathon announced that he was going to a week-long conference in another state. That left David and I home alone for a week. The weeks before Jonathon left I couldn't help but think about David's young cock. He was so much like me – I know that he had to be thinking about sex all the time. I had developed several on-line friendships with people who were in sexual relationships with their family members. I kept thinking about the possibilities.
The first night Jonathon was gone, I put on my sexiest bra and panties and a white cotton pajama teddy that was fairly sheer and form fitting. David was in the living room watching TV and I went in to watch with him. I could tell that he was having a hard time concentrating on the TV. I felt his eyes on me and I could hardly keep from smiling. My heart was pounding. Thoughts and doubts raced through my mind, but I was determined to turn my fantasies into reality.
I got up to make David his favorite snack. I brought it into the living room and bent over to give him his pop and brownie. I knew my pajama top was totally gaping to give him a peek at my 49 DD breasts. My nipples were achingly hard and I wondered if he could notice. I played innocent (I'm good at that) and just smiled at him. "Here you go, honey. I love you."
"Thanks, mom." He said.
I tussled his hair playfully and went over to the couch where I lay down so that he could catch a peek up my pajamas. I pretended to watch TV, but I knew that he was doing everything to look at me. The bulge in his pants was obviously growing and he ashamedly tried to cover it.
I took a deep breath. Was I going to go through with this? My mind raced. My heart pounded. It was now or never. I took another deep breath to try and calm my beating heart.
I stood up and went back to David's room. He remained in the living room watching TV. I felt under the bed and pulled out the magazine. I opened it up and laid it on the bed.
"David! Come here please!" I said. My voice quaked with nerves and fear. But it was too late. I couldn't believe I was doing this, but this desire to fulfill a lifetime of lurid desires had taken over.
David walked in the room and stopped with horror as he saw the magazine.
"Mom…I…uh…" he stammered with total shame and fear.
"Stop. David, look at me." I said.
