Confessing to My Husband - Just what the doctor needed
Nancy didn't immediately say anything to me about the way she had found me. She would tell me later that she needed a few days to process everything. She said that she had been so busy that day at the hospital, all she wanted was some help.
She said that it wasn't until afterward that she realized the condition I was in. She felt bad and angry but confused because I didn't seem very upset. In fact, what really confused her was that she had a distinct impression that I had enjoyed what had been done to me.
I have to admit, I had mixed feelings too. I knew intellectually what they had done to me was completely and criminally wrong.
But Nancy had guessed correctly. Maybe I wasn't as upset because, I thought it was just another dream in a string of increasingly explicit and realistic dreams. In fact, it wasn't until Nancy woke me up that I realized I had been actually fucked by at least two doctors.
She had also been correct about me enjoying it. I did enjoy it, I had always thought I was an aggressive woman, but given the nature of my dreams I will really starting to wonder.
As a doctor, and a professional, I should have been more upset to know how I had been violated, the problem was that I wasn't. I was kind of relieved that Nancy hadn't spoken to me because I didn't really know what I would say to her when she did.
Nancy was a good friend and we had shared lots of long conversations, but I knew she had even less bandwidth than me. Not only was Nancy balancing the same pressures I was, but she had three kids and all were early teenagers or preteens and she just had no time for herself, much less understanding my deviant behavior, despite how much she liked me.
As a fellow doctor, I'd known I should expect something, a lecture, shock, concern, or even disapproval, something. I knew it would be just a matter of time.
It took almost a week before it happened. During that time, I had forced myself, for now, to limit my "activity" to solo sessions on breaks, in the car, and after everyone had gone to bed. I talked a little to Rachel and she was supportive. Rachel understood my desires and needs more than anyone.
I was sitting alone and had just started my lunch when Nancy finally came and sat beside me. She looked concerned and she looked tired, but she smiled when she asked to sit with me.
I knew she cared. She knew about my relationship and my sexual frustrations, and I knew she was experiencing her own versions of them too. She didn't know about Rachel, but she did know that somebody had fucked me silly right before she found me.
"Does Scott know?" she began. I had wondered how she would break the ice.
I tried hard to find the right answer but didn't succeed.
"What that I'm a slut now?" I said trying to add humor, but I only sounded defensive instead.
"I didn't say that, but it was pretty obvious that someone had just fucked you the other day," her bluntness and language surprised me. When it was just her and I she could make a trucker blush.
Does he know about what happened to you that day?
I took a long breath.
"Yes and No," I said cryptically, and then continued, "He knows about my desires and needs, but he doesn't know that two doctors fucked me in the private lounge at the hospital."
I took another deep breath and started talking and couldn't really stop. It took a while to explain about the dreams and my increased desire for anything sexual. I told her about what I thought was just a really vivid dream.
"You were raped then," her eyes increasingly full of fire, "I'm going to get the Hospital Director and the board involved." She started to get up and I pulled her arm, so she sat back down. Her face was bright red, and she was as mad as I had ever seen her be mad.
"No Nancy don't," I said pleading. People were beginning to stare and notice us talking. After several moments she reluctantly sat back down, the look of puzzlement replacing the anger on her face.
"How much time do you have?" I asked.
"About an hour or so, we have good coverage for a change," she said, and I could see she really wanted to understand.
I took a deep breath and said, "Let's get some food and I'll tell you why I don't want to make a big deal about this."
We went and bought two coffees and some food and sat back down. This time I told her everything, this time from the beginning, including Rachel. At different points, her eyes become really wide and several times she covered her mouth, but to her credit, she listened and never interrupted me.
Finally, I said, "As much as what they did was totally and completely wrong," I paused for a moment, then I said, "I liked it, and I would likely let them do it again," I said and I thought she was going to be disgusted with me, but she surprised me.
She waited a moment and then said, "Mel, it's a common fantasy, and given everything you have told me, I can see how you might see it as erotic, but they shouldn't have done it, and most people won't see it as being erotic," she said with far more understanding and compassion than I thought possible.
"If it gets out, you will get blamed for being a slut or a whore, and you will get blamed," she said quietly so the surrounding tables couldn't hear.
I started to speak again and repeated what I had first said, "When it began I thought I was dreaming, I had been so exhausted, and even right up to the time you woke me up, I thought it was just a really intense dream."
"Intense dream," she snorted, "There was so much cum all over you I thought you had fucked several guys."
"That's how realistic my dreams have been lately, and they are getting even more intense," I said.
She reached across the table and held my hand; she kept holding it for quite a while. Several people noticed and I heard whispered comments, but Nancy didn't seem to even notice anyone else in the room.
We talked about what happened even more. I explained that I didn't care what people said. I was finding it increasingly difficult to stop myself and frankly, didn't want to stop myself.
She leaned across the table and whispered that I should get myself checked regularly and I made her promise not to tell anyone. Then she asked me again about Scott. During the last confession, I had told her that Scott was supportive, but I hadn't talked about getting to that point.
I took another deep breath and exhaled.
"Tell me," she said, "Please."
"It kind of happened by accident," I began.
It was weird.
He wasn't mad.
It started with my slut panties, the ones that say, "My husband wants you to cum in me."
I hadn't expected him to find them. I smiled because at least I knew to know where the missing pair had disappeared to.
"Is this what you want?" he said with eyes that seemed to bore into soul.
I knew this moment would change everything. There wasn't going to be a way to return to where I had been even five minutes ago. I looked down at them, black and silky, with the lettering emboldened across the crotch.
I knew I only had a micro-second to decide, Scott never even blinked.
